understanding women

understanding women:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

words women use very often that may or may not get you in to very very hot water with her.

FINE: this is the word women use at the end of any agrument in which women feel they are right, BUT need to shut you up .
NEVER use the word" fine" to describe how a woman looks
THIS will only cause more agruments

FIVE MINUITES : this is half an hour to 2 hours. its the equvialent to the five minites that you football going to last before you take out the trash ,so its an even trade .

NOTHING: if you ask her what is wrong and she says NOTHING this mean something and you should be on your toes.
NOTHING is usualy used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down and backwards .
"NOTHING" usualy signifies an argument that will last FIVE MINUTES and end with the word " FINE".

GO AHEAD ( normal eyebrows )--
this means " i give up " or do what you want because i dont care" YOu will get a raised eyebrow " GO ahead "in just a few minutes followed by A NOTHING AND A FINE and she will talk to you in FIVE MINUTES when she cools off.

Loud sigh --- this is not actually aword ,
but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men . " A LOUD SIGH mean she thinks your are an idiot at that moment and wounder why she is wasting her time standing here and agruing with you over "NOTHING:"

SOFT SIGH-- AGAIN not a word but a verbal statement , " soft sighs " are one of the few things that some men understand .
she is content .
your best bet is not to move or even breath and she will stay content .

THATS OKAY -- this is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man .
"THATS OKAY" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done ."THATS OKAY"
IS VERY VERY often used with the word "FINE" and used in coujunction with a rasied eyebrow "GO AHead" at some point in the near furture she has plotted and planned , you are going to be in some mgihty big trouble .

"PLEASE DO "-- This is not a statment,it is an offer. a woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excues or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. you have a fair chance to tell the truth , so be carefull and you shouldnt get the "thats okay".

THANKS -- a woman is thanking you, do not faint , " just say your welcome "

"THANKS A LOT -- is much different from "THANKS "
a woman will say "THANKS A LOT " when she is really pissed off at you. it signifes that you have done something very wrong and will be followed by the " LOUD SIGH" be carefull not to ask what is wrong after the " LOUD SIGH", as she will only tell you "NOTHING".

reply to post by alysha.angel


Women are relational.

Men are physical.

My *tip* to any males out there is to NEVER try to ***fix*** a woman - EVER!

A life lesson learn't. They want you to hear them out - but not to solve their problems - because if you do - they think they become redundant - which in turn makes you look like an insensitive bastard!

Stick with that rule - and never look for a woman (or man) to fulfill you - you will set yourself up for a fall. Once you are happy within yourself THEN you go get one (and make sure she's on the same mindset).

Good luck and remember to be a good listener and not a problem solver!

my tip is not to encourage them by paying attention.

get a shed, or a crazy conspiracies den full of whacky photos.

when they come in ask them to wear a tin foil hat.

talk to them incessantly about how the government is watching everything you do.

and always tell them how much hotter their sister and/or mother is.

wait till they are asleep to tell them important things.

finally, dont expect anything, even for them to stick around through all of that! (:

Originally posted by watchZEITGEISTnow
reply to post by alysha.angel

 

Women are relational.

Men are physical.

My *tip* to any males out there is to NEVER try to ***fix*** a woman - EVER!

A life lesson learn't. They want you to hear them out - but not to solve their problems - because if you do - they think they become redundant - which in turn makes you look like an insensitive bastard!

Stick with that rule - and never look for a woman (or man) to fulfill you - you will set yourself up for a fall. Once you are happy within yourself THEN you go get one (and make sure she's on the same mindset).

Good luck and remember to be a good listener and not a problem solver!

You are a wise being. Nothing can irritate me more than a guy trying to solve my problem when I just need him to hear me out.
The reason is women work out their problems by talking about it. The more they talk about it, the higher the chance they will work out a solution on their own.

reply to post by okamitengu


AT LAST! Someone who isn't going to bow to the rules and commandments laid down by those who think the world around them must bend to their will.

reply to post by calstorm


...well perhaps i can help fix that for you...

****** WRONG! ******

(are you listening men?)

or

...you sound like you understand my post, tell me more about what you feel on this topic if you may?

**this took me a few decades to learn btw - imagine the next gen all getting this worked out faster than my gen ever could - relations between men and women may improve!

Originally posted by watchZEITGEISTnow
reply to post by alysha.angel

 

Women are relational.

Men are physical.

No they are not.

reply to post by andy1033


who is not what now?

elaborate a little please...

a stand-up comedian i saw on TV used a line that has made my life much easier: "Happy wife, happy life". amen to that, brother.

I once watched a documentary about this real life Tarzan guy who literally lived in a house filled with large, predatory cats... like lions, tigers, cougars, jaguars, etc.

In this documentary, when asked about how rational and safe his arrangement was, the Tarzan guy basically said that as long as they perceived him as the alpha - he'd be fine. But that, eventually, one day, the cats would just stop seeing him as the alpha and that would, pretty much, be that. The cats would simply kill him.

This is exactly how I look at living with a woman.

~Heff

reply to post by watchZEITGEISTnow


I am saying thats totally wrong, what you just wrote.

A life lesson learn't. They want you to hear them out - but not to solve their problems - because if you do - they think they become redundant - which in turn makes you look like an insensitive bastard!

Very true..

They want a sounding board, not a drawing board. Which baffles us, because we are "fixers" by nature. The old adage goes, "Never tell a man your problems unless you want him to fix them"...and that's because that's what we are looking to do. We simply don't talk about problems we can't "fix".

my tip is not to encourage them by paying attention.

get a shed, or a crazy conspiracies den full of whacky photos.

when they come in ask them to wear a tin foil hat.

talk to them incessantly about how the government is watching everything you do.

and always tell them how much hotter their sister and/or mother is.

wait till they are asleep to tell them important things.

finally, dont expect anything, even for them to stick around through all of that! (:

How's THAT working out for you?

It will never happen, don't bother trying. If you ever do figure them out(not a snowballs chance), write a book and tell the rest of us. You will make millions if they don't kill you for blowing the secret.

Call me a strange and way out there weirdo - but what I'd like to know is - why are we debating office jokes from 1982?

reply to post by Whiffer Nippets

Because, all things old become new again

Just give them all your money and they will love you forever isn't that how it is .

Originally posted by PS3Geek
Just give them all your money and they will love you forever isn't that how it is .

More like "until it runs out"

Originally posted by BlackOps719

Originally posted by PS3Geek
Just give them all your money and they will love you forever isn't that how it is .

More like "until it runs out"

Yeah .

Originally posted by Gazrok

A life lesson learn't. They want you to hear them out - but not to solve their problems - because if you do - they think they become redundant - which in turn makes you look like an insensitive bastard!

Very true..

They want a sounding board, not a drawing board. Which baffles us, because we are "fixers" by nature. The old adage goes, "Never tell a man your problems unless you want him to fix them"...and that's because that's what we are looking to do. We simply don't talk about problems we can't "fix".

my tip is not to encourage them by paying attention.

get a shed, or a crazy conspiracies den full of whacky photos.

when they come in ask them to wear a tin foil hat.

talk to them incessantly about how the government is watching everything you do.

and always tell them how much hotter their sister and/or mother is.

wait till they are asleep to tell them important things.

finally, dont expect anything, even for them to stick around through all of that! (:

How's THAT working out for you?

edit on 12-1-2011 by Gazrok because: (no reason given)

thanks to the last line, it always goes great! (:

reply to post by alysha.angel


Women should be left alone untill they are ready to deal with others. I don't know what problems I will have with women. One just doesn't know why she is saying what. Try to catch them when they speak. You need to have paranormal abilities to find out what she is talking about. Sometimes they are with you for four hours but she better stayed home because her presence was useless she living in her bubble again. Women must find their silence again within themselves.