How To Make Women Happy..

My favorite things to do are being told how to improve myself, rearrange furniture, and discuss pros and cons of said new furniture layout ...

I am also predisposed to saying:

1. You're right ...
2. I'm sorry ...
3. It's my fault ...

Not sure it makes anyone happy ... but I am allowed to watch a couple of ball games a year as a result.

reply to post by schrodingers dog


Yep, a woman's goal is to WIN an argument...a man's goal is just to get the hell out of it....(and to us, that IS winning)....

reply to post by alysha.angel

Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)

Never make the bed. I'm gonna mess it up later that same day... Pointless activity.

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)

Or down depends where I needed it to be at the time... I do replace the toilet paper

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)

But return with beer (-5)

Sure why not I don't mind. I would get me some beer in the process.

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

From the monitors in the safe room linked to the cctv I've hidden in the house...

Social Engagements At a Party:
You stay by her side the entire party

No if I wanna do that I could just as well have stayed home. Parties are to mingle.

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)

No. I would make her dinner and wrap it in a romantic atmosphere.

A Night Out With the Boys:

If I am not allowed to go party with the boys. She better know she will be single pretty quick

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)

We both like...

Your Physique:

Man : Honey do I look fat. Woman : Your belly looks fat. Man : Try looking in a mirror. Cause when I look in the mirror I like what I see.

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem

Her problems are my problems, and if they aren't she will make them my problems.

The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"

But... Honey... I like fat. It's why I married you.




I enjoyed this one

reply to post by alysha.angel


I seriously laughed out loud when I read this thing.
Very entertaining and amusing.

I hope that these things didn't happen to you, although it sure seems like it.
Past experience bring up a reason to say all this?

What's funny is that I can break it down to one simple answer.
How to make a women happy:
Pay attention to her.

All the materialistic things are trivial anyways and have absolutely no worth to the relationship.


But, it was a great read and I enjoyed it.

MONEY

reply to post by ac3rr


that isnt it and whats up with the one word answer

reply to post by alysha.angel


Sorry, Money, Cars, and other material things.

Originally posted by ac3rr
reply to post by alysha.angel

 

Sorry, Money, Cars, and other material things.

Any male that has none should be happy.

Like there aint all kinds of broke ass people in the world getting laid right now.

Anyone should know that different things make different women happy and yes, some women want money.
This is why you can't be frontin' You gotta *represent*....WHO YOU REALLY ARE.... that way you're more likely to get what works for you. If you don't want to be loved for money, don't try so hard to get it and don't tell anyone if you have it. If you don't care, bling it out and then you can say "You here for the money, right? Remember that." Face it, some guys would rather employ a female even in the bed then actually have a relationship... so what do YOU want?...Maybe that's the most important question for a person to ask themselves. That's what you need to be worrying about, not what everybody else wants because everybody wants something different and you can't keep up with all that. That's not what your main concern should be.

many years ago as i was trailing my stag night from town to town and old man sat me down and said
"so yer going to get married aye " ?
"aye" i said,
"do you really love this lassie" ? he said
" aye sir, i do" i answered
"then listen to me" the old bugger replied.

"once a week give her something to moan about, leave a cup on the floor yer trousers in the hall no matter what it is make sure its not too serious" he said to me in earnest.

"ye fekin mad man " ? i said
"why would i want her naggin at me over saft stuff like that " ?
"because wee man if ye give her summat te moan aboot it will stop her makin' things up in her hid, ye see if ye do all the dishes, wash the clothes, sweep the carpet and all that and she has nothing te worry aboot she will make it up in her hid therefore you wee man are in control of what she nags aboot its in her nature its summat she has te do".

"never argue aboot money, let her take the reigns, ye see with my wifey if i ask her fer £2000 in cash fram oor savings, she will ask why, never ye mind i will say just trust me and she will go to the bank get me the money and await an explanation, ask yerself wee man who then is really in control o the money " ?

and fek me he was right and any married man will know what im onna bout

He then said " ye wantin bairns " ?
" aye" i said
" right then listen up, a woman is at her most beautiful when she has a belly full of arms and legs ok, and tell her so everyday, hug her and re-assure her and dont be expectin a shag after neither ye ken " ?
" aye" i replied,
"and when the bairn is born ye can forget ye nuptials fer as much as 5 months, cause all thats in her world is that wee un and thats the way it should be, theres no thing in this world that will pull her away fram that bairn and if it does ye married the wrong wan"

"noo, set up the bairns room so that there is a spare in there, get yerself compfy in there 'cause thats yoor bed, say tew the lassie that im gonna jump in the spare bed so you and the wee un can sleep tegether in oor bed as im a heavy sleeper and dinnae want to role over and sqwash em, and know that it is a very rare moment a mam will lie on her bairn as the slightest change in her environment will awaken her te make sure that wee wun is safe"

I was amazed at this old mans life knowledge but i listened on.

"wan day she will sit in front o the mirror in tears and look at the scars on her belly and the wee bit o' fat thats noo there, am i fat and ugly ? she will say"

"you answer, my sweetness i watched you carry my child with awe, i saw you give birth and was left speechless by the pain you went through, i felt useless as there was no one i could blame and hit to protect you from this, my sweetness i was for the first time in my life defunct as a man, you the stroke her hair and kiss her neck and tell her thank you, and say no my sweet you are not nor ever will be fat nor ugly you will always be my sweet sixteen and the scars you have be proud of them because you roar, aye my lass you roar because you are a true woman".

"never if ye can help it skelp ( smack ) the wee uns let a growl be enough, a mam can screech and bawl at the wee uns and they will always have her wrapped aroond their wee fingures but when ye lay doon the law son make sure its laid doon"

then the old mans wifee came and sat next to him, we were introduced and he told her what we were talking about and at that moment she looked deeply into his eyes, held his hand and smiled a smile of true love and she said " sid yer a lying, caniving old bastard but i love you" .

I my friends really really want to be that old man and have my beautiful wife looking at me the same way knowing i did the best i could and loved her for all the things she was, is and going to be, because her happiness is mine

God I hope my future is not like that.

reply to post by ChaosMagician


*grins* well i can understand your concerns mate but if you both KNOW somehow deep down beyond all established human reasoning that you are right for each other then you will realise that you are both in this relationship and that both will be primarily pre programmed genetically to follow through certain patterns of behaviour; but the beauty is that we can work with, through or ignore any of this pre-programming because of our humanity, long term relationships are hard work, ye just cant give up at the first hurdle that comes along, have fun, enjoy getting to know one another truelly and develop a sense of humour that will become at first distinct to you two both, as you get a little older you will be suprised at how many similarities there are between you and other errrm lets say older folk