Social Pressure And The Words We Use

reply to post by Hefficide


Great post.

I believe that if you are gay, and someone calls you gay, you say, "Yeah, so?"

If you respond negatively to it, then you are either saying:

1. Being gay truly IS wrong, and you have something to be ashamed of, or
2. Being called anything, be it "gay" or "a-hole" or "idiot" is offensive when the intention is to offend

This is where i base my feelings on this. Of course, i DO play nice in society. I DO follow all those silly rules of etiquette. The way i act on this forum is pretty much the way I am IRL. Problem is, acting so unnaturally creates great stress on me.

I use words to paint a picture. I don't want to limit the words that i use. I don't have negative intentions when i deal with people. Other people having their hang ups about words, which often accurately describe people accurately (a gay man is gay, after all, and "retarded" is a clinical definition that was in use as recently as 5 years ago), really are a nuisance.

But regarding your reference of "fat"....while it may upset some to deal with weight gain, being upset about it is an action that infers that it is bad, that there is something wrong with it. Do you see the issue with this? It is an insult by action, not word. There is nothing wrong with being fat if that is what one wishes to be. I am happy in my body, and can still run a flight of stairs at near 40 years old. If i didn't smoke, i could do even better. But to know that people only play nice, and feel negatively about being fat...i mean come on. It is a bias that just does not go away.

The whole scenario goes both ways. Hypersensitivity can lead us down some bizarre paths.

Of course, then again, i am not calling MY wife fat.