Post the funniest/oddest holiday gifts you've recieved.

OK I Received a couple pairs of "Comic-book Super Hero Underwear"
Of course I put them on and checked myself out in the mirror I think she may have been overly optimistic with choosing "Iron-man" But hey....

reply to post by SLAYER69


HAAAAAAAAA yeah i get it. I got a puzzle made out of wood this year and im 28 so im guessing my aunt is just really cheap or I'm special and no one has told me yet. Crossing my finger for a coloring book next year

reply to post by SLAYER69


I got a glow in the dark "fish whacker", basically a precarious looking thick-rubber mallet.

I got a coffee mug, that when you finish drinking coffee, it shows the virgin Mary etched into the bottom of the cup. Pretty awesome.

I got a rope-saw, basically a garrote (two rings attached to a rope-like saw). Odd present, but it's the thought that counts. Never know if you need to strangle something.

Well my favorite so far is a very Expensive/Large box of SEES candies

That and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue

reply to post by SLAYER69


awwww you like blue. when i used to drink i got black never could get my self to spend the money on blue. Is green label the best? And for some reason i liked red the best because i liked the harshness of if. Scotch scotch scotch i love scotch lol

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


Are you kidding I'm cheap!
It was a gift!

reply to post by SLAYER69


lol do like i do and finish the bottle then pour in red or black nobody will know the difference and you look like your the man with your very extravagant liquor collection. I do this to all my friends lol. just save the really nice bottles with brand names and pour in the cheap stuff.Only one person has caught on to this and they now do it them self's. Its funny because i don't drink anymore and they will make comment on how great the stuff is just by looking at the bottle.

reply to post by SLAYER69


Be glad that you got the super hero undershorts.
Think if she had found teletubby ones instead

reply to post by mamabeth




I knew somebody would say that!!!

First boyfriend gave me a diamond ring for Christmas, or so he said.
What he actually gave me was a lay-by docket with $1 payed off.

Every year while I was married my mother would give my husband a bottle of aftershave -
the same one every year, because he'd always give it straight back, explaining his voluptuous beard was staying put.

One year she gave me a present too, a calendar from the local greengrocer.
She said it should be handy to have one with all the months on the one page so I wouldn't have to tear a page off each month.

My husband's family had an interesting Christmas custom. Every year they would all exchange presents. However these were never opened because they knew what was in each one already. The following year the gift-tags would get changed and the gifts would be given out again, seemingly at random.

An aquaintance offered me a unique gift one year. He was not a close aquaintance because he was creepy and repulsive. He decided he was going to give me his virginity.
I explained that virginity was like poorly corked wine, at 50 years old the fruitiness had turned to vinegar and it would have no trace of woodyness left.
Besides, the gift would have been useless to me. Once he gave it neither of us would have it, and there was no way I was going to be able to return it if he wanted it back.


The resident cat says the funniest Christmas present ever was my son, who was apparently given to him 12 Christmases ago. Apollo is still working on training him, hoping one day he'll make a half-decent tall, hairless imitation of a two-legged cat.


The worst present my kids nearly had was Christmas day 1001. I was in a coma for a week after a back operation had gone wrong, but the hospital had not told them that, and they were coming in to see me for Christmas. I'd been able to hear all week, but couldn't open my eyes or breath, and was being kept alive with tubes. Because I seemed brain-dead, the doctors were quite uninhibited about discussing my situation in front of me, and I knew they were afraid of having another family fight to keep a comatose patient on life support when the hospital was short of resources, and they had transplant patients lined up for pretty well all my innards.

So I knew what was happening, but I was determined to live because my kids needed me. So I wouldn't let my mind shut down and drift away as it wanted to do. Death would have been so easy. Instead I kept making it solve maths problems to get it working again. I kept trying to move and breath, but my body wouldn't respond.

Then, Christmas morning, I overheard that my kids were coming, and the doctors, in a panic, decided to switch off life support before they arrived and just tell them I hadn't made it through the night. So it was curtains for me - being pulled around my bed in the critical care ward. The tubes were pulled out and I knew this was my last chance to make my body breath. As has been said before, imminent death concentrates the mind most wonderfully. But the thought of my loving children, being reminded by every Christmas for the rest of their lives of the day they went to see their mum in hospital and found only an empty bed, was even more powerful.

Some might call it a Christmas miracle. I call it the inner resources we all have, waiting to be tapped when the need and determination are great enough.

My grandma got me a beer pong playing kit. I think that one tops everything lol

Originally posted by Crunkman919
My grandma got me a beer pong playing kit. I think that one tops everything lol

That's rather cute!

Be extra careful with the old folks in your family - one sad day before you know it they disappear and will not be among us anymore.

Sadly, I lost both my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather this last year - and I miss them both so much!

reply to post by SLAYER69


Pics or it didnt happen

A spider-man outfit for a 3 year old from my gran when i was 16 and into my first few months of basic training in the Army

I got a new back door with a new doggy door. Just what I wanted, too!

Originally posted by Kailassa

He decided he was going to give me his virginity.

When I was about 7 or 8 Santa brought me socks and underwear. There were other gifts ( I think I got a bike that Christmas as well ) but I must be honest and say that I was NOT happy with any marginal portion of my present quota being taken up with socks and underwear. My disgust as this slight in present based etiquette was made known for all to see, as I openly snubbed these two gifts and allowed them to sit, in drawers, in their original packaging, unopened, for several years.

Long story short... it became an inside joke, within my family, to give me socks and underwear for Christmas. For the better part of 36 years this tradition persevered. Oh, and not just any underwear... but the worst possible underwear that people can find. About half of my adult Christmases were spent knowing that the ONLY gift I would get, from anyone, was gag underwear...

In the back of one of my closets, in a plastic tub, are dozens and dozens of pairs of neon colored G-strings, banana hammocks, bikini briefs, granny panty looking things, whitey tighties, and a pack of bright pink boxers with purple stars on them. All unopened. The socks I use - as it's hard to screw up tube socks... But the underwear... Oh dear God the underwear...

Two years ago I finally snapped and raised T-total Hell. The joke had worn thin. Thankfully, my family finally felt my pain and mercifully put a stop to this tradition. Though I don't think that this was done out of any kindness. I think it was more that the economy went to crap and gag gifts bought to continue a 36 year old joke don't make the cut when budgets get slashed.

Thus is my Christmas trauma...

~Heff


.

I received a waterbong in the mail.
I am sure it was a joke and I will find out who sent it.
I have never used any substances this would be for.
Nor have I got any interest,. It was kind of insulting also.

A couple years ago the company I worked for had a Christmas party so I went and had a good time till they started this thing called bad santa. Where you get a gag gift and if you didnt like it you could make some one trade with you. It was going good had a nice daily planner oh I was proud. Then this guy gets his gift from under the tree and what do you know a pink thong and he eye bald my planner I told him "not no but hell no". Needless to say I was a owner of a new pink thong and endless questions the next day..

Originally posted by hillbilly4rent
Needless to say I was a owner of a new pink thong and endless questions the next day..

The question everybuddy wants to know-- "Did ya wear it??'