Strange Relationship Happenings

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
reply to post by adigregorio

 

Ah come on now. I bet you've been known to do a little experiment or two on the sly. And on the fly.

I have never been in a relationship.

Thanks for caring though.

-Edrick

reply to post by Edrick

Honestly, I'm not sure what you mean by "Spoil things for me", would you mind clarifying?

Assuming your experiment is unknown to them, they might have the impression you are interested in her. People sometimes want what others want. So they might be seeking her attention for themselves, and in doing so, spoil the possibility for you. It's possible.

Still, I think they are momentarily interested to learn why you are.

Well I can see my valid questions will be ignored.

Take note readers, no viable data presented.

As I said before:

CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION

Though it sure seems like it does sometimes, doesn't it!

Anyway, if you do indeed have this magic power you should stop using it to hurt others. If you are not interested in a girl, don't make them think you are. That is what a "Playah" does, which as we both know is opposite of a "nice guy".

reply to post by ladyinwaiting

Assuming your experiment is unknown to them, they might have the impression you are interested in her.

Oh, that wouldn't be an assumption on their part

People sometimes want what others want. So they might be seeking her attention for themselves, and in doing so, spoil the possibility for you. It's possible.

Yes, I see what you are saying, but in my observations, this was not the case with other guys... they were respectful of them, but not of me....

So, what makes me and my friend so "Special" that we deserve that kind of attention?

LOL

-Edrick

Originally posted by Edrick
...I have never been in a relationship.
...

Hmm, how can you have:

Strange Relationship Happenings

How can you have that if you have never been in a relationship?

reply to post by adigregorio


Yes. Absolutely.

A presumption here, based on the thread flow and Eldrick's responses, is that this was a carefully considered research endeavor, with an N of at least 12 and not less than 5. Were there actual pencil/paper measures taken by independent observers, or was he just kind of winging it? If there were paper and pencil measures, what sort of concept and construct validity do the measures possess?

Another presumption that must be examined is the preconceptions the researcher had before initiating the study. I point to the following statements:

"Now, I am pretty certain that what my friend says, is most certainly true... there seems to be, if you will, a concerted effort, maybe it's subconscious... maybe not....(but) an effort nonetheless, to deliberately keep some people alone."

This is a hell of an hypothesis to start with. The implications (or the subtext) are pretty significant - is the experimenter (eldrick in this case) biased in believing that the other guys in the office are engaged in some sort of pathological group effort to keep him alone, unhappy and isolated. If this is true, then there is more than "experimenter bias" going on - I would call that a "crazy man bias."

I would also interject here that the particular selection of "subjects" in this case invalidates the study. This is a workplace, not a singles' bar, or a college cafeteria, or a shopping mall, or a Christmas party. In order to be more robust, you would need to measure these (semi) independent and dependent variables in a setting commonly implicated in human pairing/matching/mating.

Also, there was no post-hoc discussion with the female "subjects" to explore the actual perceptions and determinants involved in their behavior. We are working blind here.

Furthermore, you have to wonder how the heck the employers at this place of business would perceive quasi-experimental activities going on at the worksite, and presumably on the clock at least part of the time.

--------------------------------------------

I could go on all night, but I need to go to the bathroom. I'll check back later.

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


I'm sorry, I should have added this part to my other post...

Still, I think they are momentarily interested to learn why you are.

Well, I thank you for your perspective, I really do... but the thing is... IF they are so interested, why would they almost IMMEDIATELY go with the other guys?

There is really no time between my "Interest" and their beginning a relationship with another guy...

It really seems strange to me.

Thank you for your input though!

-Edrick

reply to post by MMPI2


While I agree with you 99.9%, my "tone" is a bit different.

I am open to the idea that this is happening, but I need more than words. When I ask for more than words I am ignored. (Commonplace around ATS)

When you ask for more than words, you are told "No" and then ignored.

Again, pretty common around here.

Maybe I should hold an experiment!

reply to post by adigregorio


Terribly sorry for ignoring you Sir...


Here is a link to the Original Post.

please read it again:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

-Edrick

Originally posted by Edrick
... but the thing is... IF they are so interested, why would they almost IMMEDIATELY go with the other guys?

That's Easy!!!

They are looking for a nice guy, since you are lying to them you are not being nice. Bam!

Flashback humor, sorry for those not "in the know".

I venture to say your data is flawed because of this, how do you know the girls couldn't sense your falseness?

(Don't answer those, I know you are ignoring me. Those are for the readers to ponder.)

reply to post by Edrick


I usually do not delve in such topics, but this actually piqued my interest. Recent events in my life have allowed me to become close to a certain female. She initiated the first contact. We work together in the same building, and I have known her for some time. Coincidentally, we both had sworn off the dating scene for separate reasons. I have always found her attractive, but I usually put on my "blindfold" when it comes to work.
She also did the same with her "blindfold". So she was the first one to take off the "blindfold" and the first guy she connected with was with me. Lucky me, eh?! LOL!
So we have been flirting and doing all that other nonsense, when she comes up to me one day and says to me "The Universe is all wrong today!". So she proceeds to explain to me that all of a sudden two other guys are asking her out. So you can imagine my reaction. I try to be cool about it.
But this has happened to me as a guy as well. When I started to date a girl many years ago, all of a sudden interested women started coming out of the woodwork for me. The best is I can explain it is that we have hormone receptors in our noses. Why do you think the perfume industry is doing so well. May I add, I can always tell where my love interest has been because of her "scent".
My hypothesis lies within the realm of sex hormones. They are VERY powerful.

Cheers and enjoy life....

reply to post by Edrick


One thing I've noticed is that guys either drastically overestimate their personal powers, or drastically underestimate them. It's the strangest thing. Some of the most powerful and successful men I've known personally, don't realize the "power", if that's the word, they wield.

Then others, who are scarcely noticeable, believe they are the "be all, end all".

Just think about it. If the guys didn't notice you at all, they wouldn't find interest in what you are doing. Same for your friend.

Plus, I think the experiment is likely inconsequential to anyone but you. I mean, if she doesn't develop a crush, and doesn't realize it, then it's actually quite harmless.

However! There's always the possibility that you've got "some 'splainin' to do". lol.
If she comes to work all flirtatious with you, then you should take her out. No more experiments, though. lol.

reply to post by Edrick


So you only have your bias opinion to base these things on?

No offense, but your opinion is not a great ruler. This is why we rely on things like data, data is what it is. It has no feelings, no other motives. It is just...well...data.

How many of those gals had a cell phone?

How many of those cell phone toters called their friends to come meet them?

How many of those toter friends brought a "blind date"?

See, data, data would know most (if not all) of these answers.

An opinion, well it only knows what your senses tell it. And even then it can be reallllllllly sketchy.

EDIT--

Furthermore, I am not saying NUH-UH! It is quite possible you are doing this. I would say gather data, but I do not condone using others for personal gain. (I consider an experiment personal gain)

If it is your bag o' chips though, then by all means! I would look forward to seeing hard proof of magic.

reply to post by Kratos40

So we have been flirting and doing all that other nonsense, when she comes up to me one day and says to me "The Universe is all wrong today!". So she proceeds to explain to me that all of a sudden two other guys are asking her out. So you can imagine my reaction.

Yes, exactly!

That is similar to what I am talking about, however I never actually get to the "Flirting" part, honestly...

It's like Certain people are prohibited from ever being together, or some people are prohibited from EVER being with someone....

did you ever get that feeling?

I don't think it's about hormones, because this happens across "Chat" rooms also, as my observations have extended to realms where personal "Pheromones" cannot be considered.

-Edrick

reply to post by ladyinwaiting

Just think about it. If the guys didn't notice you at all, they wouldn't find interest in what you are doing. Same for your friend.

Oh, I *KNOW* that they notice me, and what I do.... but I don't believe that their motivations are as "Instinctual" as has been put forward on this thread... I believe that it is a form of Gang stalking, actually.

As in, THIS thread: www.abovetopsecret.com...

Some interesting information in there, including the disruption of targeted individuals "Relationships"

-Edrick

Don't worry my friend.....it's just your oppressors getting in their last licks. You'll be calling women in from half way across the galaxy before long. As thou hast been abased....so shalt thou be exalted. The weak shall bring forth the strong. Don't worry my brother...they shall be worthy of thy strength.

Originally posted by Edrick
reply to post by MMPI2

 

1) Unless you have a carefully controlled, double-blind/controlled group experiment with a pretty significant sample size and some pretty solid statistical follow-thru, there is ALWAYS experimenter bias - especially in a setting that involves (admittedly rudimentary) social science elements.

I am asking for additional input on the subject, not publishing a paper for peer review.

2) You said you "observed them for some time." Also, you indicated that your "observations were thorough." This implies that, unless you are some sort of stalker, you were interacting with them in a manner that was unusual or atypical.

My job involves standing in one spot, and watching a majority of my coworkers mill around.... not too difficult for me to do, honestly.

Also, this point necessitates me adding to my previous facets: the other guys in the office perceived you as making these women uncomfortable, perhaps even causing the female "subject" to ask for the other men in the office to stay close to her to keep you away from her.

This is a response that I expected... honestly.

I already said in my origional post that I was not "Stalking" or "Chasing", I was merely being polite and friendly.

You are reaching pretty far, honestly.

And I think you are attempting to paint me as an enemy, I would appreciate if you could stick to the topic at hand, instead of painting me as a crazy person...

Thank you for your cooperation.

3) You said "While I appreciate your indication that my animal magnetism has some sort of effect on the ladies, in that my mere smile and words can "Bring them into heat", I will have to respectfully decline your suggestion. as it is a little.... obtuse." Nothing obtuse about this particular hypothesis of mine...except your use of the word "obtuse"

I was being sarcastic, but that WAS your original implication, btw:

4) She got all "hot" or something from you chatting her up and unknowingly started releasing all kinds of sexual attraction pheromones

See?

First, nothing in what I shared indicated anything about "animal magnetism" or you "(bringing) them into heat." I'm thinking here your disclosing your fantasies about your abilities with chicks....LOL.

Okay... you are attempting to paint me as an arrogant fool... I see what you did there.

Secondly, the research on pheromones and their effect on behavior is pretty consistent, and not just for sexually-related attraction - there are robust findings that suggest that certain biochemicals assist in species-specific communication = i.e., alarm, aggregation/clustering, etc. The presence of certain gender-linked chemicals are consistently shown to alter the biochemical matrix (and presumably behavior) in opposite gender subjects - both human and non-human.

You are still suggesting that my interactions are bringing them into heat.... in the same post where you suggest that I am making them frightened of them, I would add.

Please stop doing this.

You denied "flirting" with these women. You failed to operationally define what you are doing when you were "interacting with her socially. Talking, smiling, etcetera." What is "etcetera?"

Chill man... you really think I would disguise Flirting as "Etcetera"?

Seriously?

"Etcetera" can be a lot of different things.

Oh, so clearly, I was stalking *AND* flirting at the same time...

Nice, thanks for your perspective on the matter.

I see no need to talk to you further.

-Edrick

I'm back. My chili and broccoli from earlier was "acting up."

Nah, nah, nah...eldrick. The stuff here you keep posting in response to some honest and objective feedback really does suggest that you are doing these studies in a weird, non-objective way. You are a walking experimental bias, for crying out loud!

I'm not saying this to be mean, but to underscore the fact that you gotta do the little study in a more robust way. You wouldn't even need structured observation sheets, but you would need a confidant or two.

See...here's what you do:

Get a buddy (preferably two) to approach chicks in a place away from work. A library, a grocery store, a pub...whatever. A pub would be preferable. Work won't work (ha ha). It is a polluted environment for your study.

Get the dude to chat them up, not in a "flirty way" but in sort of a friendly kind of way. Time it, maybe even script it for the male confidant.

Then have them say 'bye. And then watch what happens with the other dudes in the area. Do the other dudes approach them after the confidant leaves? Does anything extraordinary occur?

You got to do at least 20 trials with twenty different chicks. Then maybe you could draw some meaningful conclusions. No, not a peer reviewed thing, but something more meaningful than you goofing off at work and trying to figure out some coherent reason for what you observe.

Another thing to help you figure this thing out is to decide what you really believe. Do you feel that some folks out there want to muck you up with the chicks? Why is this? Are you angry about it? Afraid? Your preconceptions are gonna color your results if you don't control them, especially when youre trying to figure out something as complicated as human behavior.

good luck!

...sounds like monkey see monkey do...

Originally posted by Edrick
There is really no time between my "Interest" and their beginning a relationship with another guy...

...theres always a faster gun...

reply to post by MMPI2


Last post (More or less)

Now, not that I condone this type of behavior. But...yeah...what MMPI2 said.

That would make these observations "valid" and not "opnionated".

Anyway, back to not being a nice guy for me and a for someone who waits.

reply to post by MMPI2

Nah, nah, nah...eldrick. The stuff here you keep posting in response to some honest and objective feedback really does suggest that you are doing these studies in a weird, non-objective way. You are a walking experimental bias, for crying out loud!

No, not really, I am actually quite objective in my assessments, however I have no large scale funding, and as such can not purchase Lab coats, and assistants to do my work for me.... so, it's just going to be ME

LOL!

I'm not saying this to be mean, but to underscore the fact that you gotta do the little study in a more robust way. You wouldn't even need structured observation sheets, but you would need a confidant or two.

Well, if you read the original post, you would know that I am trying to see if this has happened to other people.

So, thank you for your long winded retort, but it is quite irrelevant.

-Edrick (Love and Peace!)