How do I not appear too clingy?

I'm sure you all have had this problem before. Basically I've known this girl since the beginning of the semester. I didn't realize that she was so busy. She was taking 6 classes and she's a soc-psychology major. I on the other hand just transferred to the school, and at the time I was only taking 3 classes. I didn't realize how busy she was... and I kept on asking her to hang out even though she was busy... which I now realize was kind of a mistake. She said I could text her and keep in touch with her (she is going to be studying abroad next semester).

NOTE: SHE IS JUST A FRIEND OF MINE. I just think that before I texted her a bit too much about asking her if she wanted to hang out with me so now she might be hesitant to respond to my texts... if you know what I mean. Like, I might have just kind of rubbed her the wrong way.

Now, before you go out and say that she has no interest in me if she isn't hanging out with me or texting me, in most cases that would be true, and I'll probably look for other girls that might be more available than her. But she was sick for a lot of the semester so it's not like she would have been able to hang out with me, so she probably perceived me constantly hanging out with her as bugging her... I talked to her about this and at the last day of class she said it was fine now...

But like now my only concern is like I don't want to appear too clingy with my texting with her. How often should I text her? I know that we're not exactly on the best of terms right now despite the fact that we've kind of resolved our issues... but like I just don't want to make it seem like I am annoying her even more, if you know what I'm saying.

Guys, what would you do in this situation? It's not as if she never replies to my texts. But my problem I think is that before I might have texted her a bit too much... so like a text once a week, or every two weeks, would that be okay? She's also out of state right now... so it's not like we could just hang out like that and chat somewhere. I just don't want to appear too clingy... or like in the past and appear like I am bothering her or anything like that.

Too late. Even this post shows you are too clingy and totally lacking in self confidence and self esteem.

reply to post by sonofliberty1776


I'm not at all lacking in self confidence. I am okay with girls... it's not like I have girl problems or anything. I just don't have a good read on this one girl.

Don't text her. Leave her alone. If she texts you, answer her, but other than that - let it go.

I think you should text her every once in a while, maybe once a week.

But even then, the damage may be done. Your first impressions upon a gal are the ones that she remembers the most. I would go as far as to say that the first month or so you know each other, will probably form her opinion of you forever.

Thats just the way the female minds works, generally speaking. Every gal is different.

So to echo the other post, you might have already made a bad impression.

Sorry, just being honest.

Start texting her about the NWO, and the corporate take over. Tell her about the FEMA camps, fluoride in the water, and the population reduction program and I guarantee you'll find out that she's on another planet. You won't feel quite so clingy when you find out she's hell bent on being subservient to the point where she'll grass you up to the feds for talking about stuff that doesn't fit her world view. Tell her about ATS at your own perril.

reply to post by Frankidealist35

If you say so. My read of both of your posts says that you totally lack confidence with women. I could be wrong, after all I am divorced(only once though). However, if you have to ask how many times is too many times....you are doing it too many times. Best thing to do is walk away and get with one of the other many girls I am sure you have on the string.

reply to post by InertiaZero


I guess that's what I'll do. But the thing is, like even after we talked she replied to my text. I did send her some texts later on because I just wanted to chat for a bit... but that was during finals week and I realized she was probably busy so I basically apologized for potentially bothering her. I realize I might have to move on from her... but it's just that earlier on she didn't tell me how busy she was (she said to text her any time that I wanted to do something with her), so... like I really hope she isn't mad at me for not knowing how busy she was or anything.

Originally posted by InertiaZero

But even then, the damage may be done. Your first impressions upon a gal are the ones that she remembers the most. I would go as far as to say that the first month or so you know each other, will probably form her opinion of you forever.

Thats just the way the female minds works, generally speaking. Every gal is different.

Well, if you are asking about women, listen more to the women. However, I always believed that most women decide within the first few minutes whether or not they would sleep with you. Sometimes you can change that first impression, but usually if you mess up then you are in the "friend zone" forever. Best thing to do then is have her set you up with her friends.

reply to post by sonofliberty1776


No, I'm not bad with girls. One of my best friends is actually a girl. It's just that sometimes things don't always go as you planned them to... and well yeah this is one of those things.

Originally posted by sonofliberty1776

Originally posted by InertiaZero

But even then, the damage may be done. Your first impressions upon a gal are the ones that she remembers the most. I would go as far as to say that the first month or so you know each other, will probably form her opinion of you forever.

Thats just the way the female minds works, generally speaking. Every gal is different.

Well, if you are asking about women, listen more to the women. However, I always believed that most women decide within the first few minutes whether or not they would sleep with you. Sometimes you can change that first impression, but usually if you mess up then you are in the "friend zone" forever. Best thing to do then is have her set you up with her friends.

LOL!

There you go, OP.

How did you guys become friends in the first place? Did you just approach her one day or what?
My best friend is taking 6 classes and we love each to death but we havent seen much of each other lately because he's been so busy with school, and I really miss him
If you don't hear from her after the semesters over then I would say it's safe to bet she was just making excuses and is not interested.

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Here is what you do...

Begin drinking at roughly 10 pm, local time. Have fun and don't hold back. Really, really live it up. Party hard! You will have a few hours so have yourself a blast and spare no expense because, on this night, moderation be damned! You are a man on a mission.

When you hear the words "last call" this is your signal. This is your cue to start texting the young lady. Don't be shy now. This is no time to hold back. The truth shall set you free so just text any and all thoughts that come to mind. Don't worry about condensing thoughts. Don't stress about over-speaking. Just roll with it man, roll with it!!!.

Now, and this is the tricky part, she may not answer you at first. But don't let this dissuade you from your task. When the going gets tough, the tough get going! If the first hour passes without any replies, redouble your efforts! Text like a man possessed. This will prove to you that you mean business and are serious! In fact the longer and more frequently that you text, the MORE you will show her that you are interested. The more passionate your words, the more she will see your dedication and seriousness.

She may play hard to get. But, as a general rule, as it applies to this strategy, 10 solid hours of texting (Averaging 20 texts per hour) should be sufficient to demonstrate your interest in her. So do not relent until you've reached this 10 hour, 200 text mark. Then, and only then, will she see your resolve and consider you a contender!

(Do not take this advice. For the love of God don't even laugh at it. Truthfully, the above posters have led you correctly. The best way to get her attention is to play it cool... act nonchalant about getting it. Let HER text you. If there is anything there - she certainly will before long. Sorry about going around the elbow, here, to get to the wrist. But my OCD manifests in odd and creative ways sometimes! )

~Heff

reply to post by matrixportal


I saw her in the library one day... early on in the semester. We talked for a little bit and we seemed to get along fairly well. We hung out a few times. After a certain time she ended up getting sick a lot (she was sick, she had mono), we were going to hang out during this one weekend-- but we couldn't because she had bronchitis that weekend, and after that she had bronchitis until the last week of the semester or so. Then, at that point for the past few weeks we had finals, so it's not like she could do much of anything. It's not so much that her busy schedule was the problem but that she was sick a lot. Normally she isn't sick, but this semester she was sick a lot. We ended the semester on good terms (kind of). I hear what other people are saying, that I should move on from her if she doesn't respond to my texts or anything like that... but she wasn't making excuses or anything. She really couldn't hang out for a lot of the time.

I guess if she doesn't reply to me like after a few days I'll move on though...

reply to post by Frankidealist35



There is only one person you can change or control and that is yourself, she either likes you for who your are, or just let her be.

And timing is everything, she may not be in that place where she wants someone else in her life.

reply to post by Frankidealist35

How do I not appear too clingy?

Switch off your emotions to a certain extent.

Side-effect= You may not be able to shift said partner even if you want to...

reply to post by Wide-Eyes


I think this question has been resolved. But thanks. I realize the mistakes that I've made with this girl... and I'll not make them in the future with other girls. RealTruth is right. Timing is everything. I think I was being too hard on myself earlier. For the future I'll try to have good enough friendships and good enough relationships where I won't even have to worry about something like this.

The whole problem with this particular friendship is that she is going to be going away for like one whole semester to be studying abroad... so it would be easier for me to make it up with her if she was staying here... but like, at this point it'll be up to her if she wants me around or not. I'm just not going to worry about it too much anymore and I'll move on to other girls.

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Sleep with her best friend.
That should show her what side her bread is buttered on...

reply to post by Frankidealist35


She's going to study abroad and you come across as clingy big time, sorry dude. This one's gone for at least a while.

Next time a young lady is too sick to go out and do anything tell her you're going to bring her some chicken soup and look after her abit. If she's really sick then she'll appreciate it and think you're really sweet.

But make sure you tell her this is happening, don't ask her about it, otherwise she might say don't worry.

Not to be used as good advice in the bedroom, just when bringing chicken soup.

How do I not appear too clingy?

Are you using cling wrap like this?.....


[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/43d184cd4587.jpg[/atsimg]


Pardon me its the first thing that jumped to mind.

That aside

Just pull back a bit and relax about her.