Do you ever forget your first love?

Oh Lord... I remember my first "love"...sort of because I can't remember what the big fuss was about. Don't get me wrong, he was a cool guy in a lot of ways but I hardly knew him by the time I was head over heels... at age 15??? What???...and I was pretty nutsy about the whole shindig. I made him the target of my hearts longing before even knowing what I was doing. Did not act like myself at all. That longing might very well be a life long battle and me and that guy?...we grew apart. We broke up several times and by the end of it, it was him who was chasing me as opposed to the other way around. Look how I reeled him in with my absolute heart's certainty and then just cut him loose when I "grew out of it".

If you are young, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Give yourself time. If the idea of love is troubling, try to concentrate on the world around you for a while. Love will come back to you in time... maybe one day it will stick. Move forward, learn, set yourself up well and don't dwell on heartache if you can stop yourself. Believe that you will find love again... just keep moving forward.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

I think things have been put into perspective now.

She will always be there somewhere but The future is now! I definately feel more at peace after reading some of your replies....

Nice to hear other peoples stories too.

Cheers Ladies and Gents

I could never forget her.

Especially as she had an affair with my father and they got married some years later after my parents divorced.

I haven't spoken to him since the day he phoned to tell me "his" good news.

He is/was a complete b*st*rd and his happiness cost me and my family dearly.

Not easy to forget. I learned a lot about the world when I was 17.

Do you people actually believe in love or soul mates? … I highly doubt those two exist… maybe each person has a different definitions for each… CONFUSED

I have no one to remember.... ;(

reply to post by Rocks123


I believe in love, but sometimes I wish I had no one to remember....

reply to post by Rocks123


Why do you doubt love exists?

Originally posted by Rocks123
Do you people actually believe in love or soul mates? … I highly doubt those two exist… maybe each person has a different definitions for each… CONFUSED

I have no one to remember.... ;(

edit on 15-12-2010 by Rocks123 because: (no reason given)

You have to make memories sometimes. You have to find someone and be something to them they could never replace. Not just instantaneously, you have to work at it if you haven't already. You can't expect it to just be that way... if it wasn't that way before. You find someone like that and go the distance for them... if you are certain they see it, they know it and they appreciate it and that they would have your back as well. You go on in life with them if they agree and who knows what might happen in this life... and the next and the next, but the important thing is in what you know right now if you can't see into the past or into the future, what you are living right now... what is your view on love? Is it something you just expect to manifest and someone out there will just worship the ground you walk on... or will you strive to build it, to be there, to find it, to recognize the possibilities, to give up when you need to and keep looking if it wasn't what you thought it was and if you do find it, to revere it, to take it seriously and not just some gender game that you like sometimes and have to put up with other times because that's life... because you know what they say- when you find it, you will know... you will both know.

You think you do, but at some unexpected moment you start missing or thinking again even after years esp when your first love was your last and you had a relationship for a long time. You never know the mind tricks or God's plan, but it just never stops by itself... If there has been something real, I doubt you stop feeling it. People are connected even when not together,... there is special bonding with certain people, if that stops then a part of you is gone... You are a more complete person when you let these things reside in you despite the distance... And why am I posting here instead of doing the important work that I have to finish I don't know...

Forget? No...

Move on? Sure...

Though I think what most of us think of as our first "love" is really more of a first "crush", or at least I know mine is...

reply to post by KingDoey



KingDoey and others,

It has been awhile since I've posted this so I will enter the outline again.

I agree with many of the posters...keep your first love as fond memories..and move on. If one has sufficiently matured over time it should be kept as fond memories.

Twice now over the years I have seen my first love ..albeit briefly ..and both times with the same result.

I was in a Sears Department store and looking at items in a Kiosk when she walked quickly by and I saw her briefly through the Kiosk. I was stunned...literally stunned. There came a ringing immediately to my ears and I thought was going to black out. Everything became dark except for the narrow circle surrounding her as she walked though my view at the Kiosk. Then she walked on out of my view and into the years before I saw her again. I have never had this kind of experience with any other woman.

Then again I was years later in a shopping mall sitting on a bench outside J C Pennys and there she was again ..walking across my point of view. Once again the ringing and the almost blacking out except for the circular area surrounding her as she walked out of my view once more. Both times she never saw me and kept walking. I've not seen her again since and it has been years and years.

But I know that she would have been bad for me. We were both young and in love ..more with love than each other and the practical matters of life which would come later. I know now that it would not have lasted.
Best that she kept walking and I sat there dumbfounded.
She has married and has a grown child by now. I've never tried to see or speak to her and it is best that way.
But I do look back on it with some fondness ..even in the ignorance of youth. And it is best it remains that way.

Thanks,
Orangetom

reply to post by KingDoey


I think our first loves are more memorable simply because it was a NEW experience. Not necessarily because they were better than the relationships that follow. You just can't recreate the feeling of falling in love for the first time. Maybe you find yourself thinking about your ex often because you miss that feeling? or maybe because you need closure..or maybe you want her to see how much you have changed for the better since then?

i cant speak for the rest of the human race ,but no i never forgotten him .

in fact when we were dating we made a promise to each other that if we ever broke up that we would remain best friends forever .
you see we were close friends for a year before we started dating and to this day we re still close friends . and yes we do talk still and harmlessly flirt with each other because the spark is long gone yet its fun to tease and banter...

ill always love him but as for being inlove with him no im not .. its sad tho hes the only one of my exs that im able to talk to like we used to before we dated . and we were together for almost 2 years .

I broke up with my ex GF like in 2004 and am for nearly 7 years in a "new" relationship. My ex GF and me took our on paths in life and "broke up in peace" meaning we still had contact after our 2,5 years relationship and made it to the status called friendship. Last weekend I was checking out our new club (which in Germany is not an everyday thing ^^) with some of my friends and my current GF and all of a sudden my ex GF was there too (she lives like 400 km away from me and just comes back now and then to our hometown) and as she noticed me she came over and we had a nice long talk after in something like 3 years. And to me it was really like talking to a good friend, no (romantic) feelings at all. I just wanted to say, take your time and you'll get over her ;-)

P.S.: May have to add my ex GF actually was my "first love" and we were around 15/16 years old when starting our relationship