reply to post by laura8peaceexperiment
As I was growing up, as a child, I was very imaginative, when I looked at people and things, they took on a different light, the aspect of my
imagination shaped the more subtle perceptions, so, for example, looking up at a tree, I would feel like I was flying through the branches, and all
the leaves took a life of thier own, a kind of a sense of "depth" to things. However, as I got older, a part of my mind took over, it sort of was my
"ego" and basically after a while my mind became narrowed, like I was just searching for the next desire, the next "thing" and I slowly lost contact
with the sense of wonderment, or sense of being "in my own mind" - the minds of other children started to take place in my mind, what they thought of
me, what they say etc. In my teens, I came to realise that the evil of the "ego" had been increacing in intensity, I remember feeling peoples
emotions, seeing emotions in peoples eyes, being connected, with a sense of natural empathy amongst people, when I realised how things used to feel
like, I had a kind of "jolt" and a part of my mind re-opened. I came to realise how incredibly hypnotised, and controlled by the ego, and how shallow
people had become. I went on a quest to try and reconnect with my old self, and eventually I managed to regain my imagination, that sort of "empty
space" that filters the objective information, and makes it more organic, more dynamic. The next step was where my logical mind, combined with a part
of me that was suffering inside, went on a kind of mission to find what was missing. I became incredibly analytical, picking apart all my actions and
thoughts, until the thoughs became so intense that it was like I "punched through" into my soul, a small jewel of light right at the bottom of my
soul. It was the "bridge" and then when I worked my way back up, the other side of my mind became connected. After this occured, I became incredibly
nervous around people, because I could see the parts of themselves that they had repressed, and their true meanings behind thier words. I could only
really speak when that inner-most part of me reacted, like trying to find the best answer, proving increacingly difficult with people that were more
possessed by the ego. I thought I was going crazy, however I would meet the odd person, talk to the odd stranger, and we would connect, I would feel
myself, like I had stepped back in time, remembering how things used to be. Knowing that I am a sane person in an insane world, I am now fighting the
system and what it tries to throw at me, trying to get to the bottom of how it works, and what its purpose is.
edit on 10-12-2010 by
SystemResistor because: (no reason given)