Are you good at chess?

I lost a bet and my manhood was taken away. I became female, and to regain my true self I need to win a game of chess. The problem is, I don't know much about chess. If any of you can help me with improving my chess skills, I'll be grateful. Call me crazy, I really don't care at this point, I'm rather desperate to break this terrible spell. You can u2u me as well.

reply to post by concordant




Forgive the short post... but it is chock full of sincerity.

~Heff

reply to post by concordant


Oh, God, please say you're joking.


..second line because the OP made my day..

reply to post by concordant


Watch this


It will give you most of the basics of how to win a chess game.

The other parts are on youtube, tell me if you can;t find them and I will link to them

reply to post by concordant


I'll be happy to volunteer but 1). I'm a female. 2). I'm pretty darn good at chess. So I might make your situation worse.

Wow OP...... I mean.......wow.......really? srs?

reply to post by davespanners


I lost a bet a backgammon once in Greece, my manhood remained intact but I was forced to Drink half a pint of straight Ouzo
I didn't wake up again for 15 hours

Chess is like War. You have to know your opponent to know how to beat him.
Oh, and always bet on black. Wesley Snipes said it, so it must be true.
I think he was talking about Roulette though, but anywho, good luck getting that penis back.

Chess is a game for pedants and once you understand the psychology behind your opponent then it becomes very easy to gain the upper hand. Random behaviour is the key to success as it throws many a chess nerd off their balance.

I was a Don at it - but I gave it up in a huff, to my regret. I got the hump cause some loon managed to outsmart me - for the first time in 5 years of playing it.

I've often thought of taking it back up, but I wouldn't know how to go about it.

It's like playing StreetFighter in slow motion.

reply to post by concordant



To coin a phrase “I know how to move the pieces” lol but that would be understatement.

I was 21 when I beat my first grandmaster, with a Fide rating of 2595. I started playing when I was about 15. But I have long since given up chess and martial arts for Jesus! Although I still have skillz

There are many aspects to the game of chess. You can learn the basic theory and principles to improve but it’s takes a long time to put it into practice.

A lot may also depends on who you are up against. For example, if you’re up against Garry Kasparov! Then regaining your man hood is unlikely, and I would recommend making a direct visit to your local lingerie store lol

You really need to study the elements of the opening and opening principles, like development and piece coordination. Then you need to learn middle game themes and tactical and combinational ideas, which can be applied at different phases of the game. You also need some theoretical end game knowledge and finally you need to build up your overall ability to calculate variations accurately, which is closely interconnected to understanding middle game positions and knowing how to assess them.

Of course all this type of knowledge is something, which has to be built up slowly over time.

I would recommend you try to play people who are stronger than yourself but you should occasionally play someone who is roughly at your own level, so that it doesn’t become too demoralizing.

If you have any other questions about how to improve your game, feel free to send me a u2u

- JC