Just Say No to Airport Screening

Welcome to Freedom Airlines

Born out of a demand for the freedom to travel by air, without all of the modern
day invasions into your privacy and encumbrances of so-called "security measures"
for commercial flight.

Your pleas are answered. At Freedom Airlines, gone are the days of

• arriving early for your flight
  
• baggage charges
  
• identification checks
  
• emptying your pockets for metal detectors
  
• x-ray scans of your carry ons
  
• full body scans
  
• pat down searches
  

When you arrive at Freedom Air's check-in desk, just moments before the flight leaves
the terminal, all you need is cash. There is no need to even check your luggage!

How do we do it? Simple, really. By listening to you and making adjustments we feel
completely address your complaints. To accomplish this task, Freedom Air has made
arrangements with the FAA and TSA, ensuring the safety of those who prefer to bow to
the whims of the government and travel with those other guys.

The following small concessions apply:

• Ticket prices are approximately 4 times the normal rates
  
• Ticket purchases are cash only, no refunds
  
• There are never any discounted tickets
  
• Flights are strictly limited to off-peak hours
  
• Passengers board the plane from the tarmac
  
• Each passenger must load their own luggage onto the plane
  
• There will be no flight attendants
  
• All seating is coach
  

Those are a small price to pay, to avoid the horrors of the government's ridiculous
"security measures", don't you think?

So, welcome to Freedom Airlines, where the customers' emotions are always first.

All passengers are required to sign a waiver acknowledging the following:

• Pilots will be contained in a cockpit capsule, which can be safely ejected from the plane
  
• If your flight is compromised and threatens the safety of citizens on other flights or on the ground, it will be explosively pulverized, in the air
  

Yes, getting rid of security measures is the true way to fly. Oh the company lost 3 planes in 2 years due to hijackings, well then...

At least it'll be easier to smuggle anything I want to. Of course now all we have to do is get rid of the laws outlawing these things and I'll have freedom to move my contraband without worry

I would take the risk myself, especially on flights to and from Amsterdam.