Afraid Of Dying

reply to post by Diluted


Personally, I went through a phase where I feared my own mortality to the point that I was making myself ill. It was only when I adjusted my point of view to realize that the biggest fear was the fear of living that I took stock and let go of fear. It's always best to concentrate on the here and now before you miss it. I don't claim to know what happens next and I accept that everyone will have their own versions of what happens, but, until that day, I'm going to do my best to enjoy what I have until.. whatever. Sit down and think about what you want to do with your life, then just go for it. I'm sure everyone gets to this age and starts to have these thoughts, when you look back at the years that seem to of flown by. But there are still years to go so live it. I hope you see my point and feel more relaxed about this thing we call life.

reply to post by Diluted


Thanks for your post. I like that you are confronting the issue of being afraid to die. I don't know if anyone has told you this yet, but watch the movieKPAX with Kevin Spacey. I am afraid to die also, but I don't worry about it too much because it's inevitable. Every now and then I think about it and freak out but it's part of life.

And also energy never dies, so we'll always be around in one form or another.

reply to post by Diluted

How do you not get anxious over the idea of knowing - You're going to die.

Admittedly, I have been disturbed by the thought of death in the past. However, we are all going to die, one way or another. NOTHING stays the same forever. Things are always changing, life is always changing. Death is the inevitable end for any life, even if you manage to live millions of years, you can't extend your life for eternity, something will bring the end to you. Even those who believe in a soul fail to realize even the soul can be destroyed. Would life really have any meaning if it were to last forever? Do you think this planet Earth will last forever? What about this universe? ALL of it will change over time. You fear not existing anymore. Now that is a really irrational fear when examined logically. Firstly, you fear the inevitable, secondly, you fear something that wont effect you because you will no longer exist to care about it. I personally fear the potential pain of my death, but do not fear losing "my" existence. Between birth and death, we have life. Without death there is no life, without life there is no death. Death is only a bad thing for those who can't truly embrace or understand the essence of life.

OP, what you wrote, I think, is very normal, we all must contemplate what death means. It was always my greatest fear when I was young, especially when I was late in my 20's.

I did the only rational thing I could think of to deal with this fear by reading acounts of people who died and came back, from all over the world and from different religions or who didn't believe in religion or God. The experiences and stories were very similar. Later I learned meditation, had past life regression, and I think i finally got over the fear of death when I experienced dying in several past lives that I relived. And in meditations, I had several out of body experiences that brought the realization home that the body is only a temporary home.

I think its wise to ask what does the fear of death mean to you specifically? So many fear death but in reality it's that they fear they won't get to live a full life or a life of accomplishment, or reach certain goals.

My only fear now is that I will die and my children will have no one to take good care of them. So while I still fear death, its not for my own sake but for their sake.

Take steps that are comfortable for you as you search for your own answers.

Originally posted by malcr
reply to post by Diluted

 

There is nothing "on the other side". Some people can't face up to this and comfort themselves with an afterlife (and associated religious belief). Some people can't face that they will never see their loved ones again and thus believe in spirits. mystics etc.

There is no "physical reality". Some people have never experienced spirit worlds or other dimensions so they believe only what they see with there physical eyes. Some people can't face that there is more to this world, but they can not see it, thus believe in only physical reality.

To the OP- Open your inner eyes. Things may get weird when you do. You'll see spirits, beings, energy patterns around people, objects, and even the "air"- or "space" in between things. Energy is everywhere and is everything- even what you call "air".

You can open your inner eyes by doing energy training (chi kung/qi gong) or just regular meditation by focusing on your pineal gland (center of your head) as a blue dot. The blue represents the astral/etheric and if you have enough energy you can remote view or astral travel. When you can become more of aware of whats already around you and going on.. it SHOULD allow you to feel a bit more comfortable with "death".. weather u live or not after wards.. have fun

reply to post by JR MacBeth


JR, I don't want to derail this thread for the OP. I guess that I have been tormented by my own thoughts, knowledge, reality. I have suffered many things at the hands of others.....sexual abuse.....betrayal.....adultrey....mental abuse...etc. I suffer from depression and have for probably 40 years. I use to be a preacher and a Bible scholar. I have seen and heard things that would blow a lot of minds. I have had a demon speak to me, and I have been able to read minds through the power of the Holy Spirit. I have heard the voice of God or maybe an angle...not sure.
The handle Seeashrink came from my desire to become a counselor, but, yes, I have seen one. I know that my openness here will draw critisim, but thats ok, I know what I know.
Yes Paul said that "When I was a child I thought as a child, I played as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things"....I'm not real sure how that applies, but I think that I see your point.
I know that there is a God and the He is righteous and just. I cannot understand HIm because I am His creation and the pot cannot say to the potter, "Why have you created me thus?" Even with an explanation, I would not understand.
Anyway, my point is; I'm ready for death, but death with mercy. I've done some good. I have led many to Christ. I have preached the truth. I have counselled many in good conscioius. I hope it counts for something. But according to the Word, it is not by works, but by faith.
I just don't know anymore. We'll see
seeashrin,

reply to post by Diluted


Thanks for the question.
I know that when I die I will lose my personality, memories..., that is why I VALUE this life a lot.

Those, who believe there is a life after death, have no incentive to get best out of the life, because they think they are eternal anyway - nothing needs to be done.

reply to post by Diluted


Do you remember anything that happened a year before you were born? Were you even there?

You were dead before you were born.

Originally posted by trailertrash
I do not think you are afraid of dying really. I think you are just afraid.

Work on fear. Fear sucks. I have no time for fear. Fear is stupid. Fear is for idiots....

Stay away from Christianity for a while. Why? Because they are hypocritical. They teach that God loves us UNCONDITIONALLY and then go right on to tell you that you must first accept Jesus or give your life to Jesus or etc..... They tell you all the things you have to do. You see, these are CONDITIONS. God does love us unconditionally. This means you need do nothing to receive the love. I guarantee you that Jesus does not want us to be dependent upon Him for salvation. He expects only that each us will be the best that we can be. Nothing more. For this no religion is necessary. So, if religion has be confusing you then leave it for a while and simplify your relationship with God. Stay away from all scripture and learn to be self-reliant. Do this for six months and you will be fearless..... stay away from preachers who know not what they do to people. Be free and fearless. When you achieve fearless then go back to religion if you like but do not allow yourself to become dependent on it.

edit on 14-11-2010 by trailertrash because: typo

Excellent post! Wish I could flag or applause you but all you get is a star.

Religion and spirituality are NOT the same.

In the end, your walk with Deity is personal. You walk your path alone. Many may walk beside you, before you, or behind. Your path is yours alone.

The Op may be experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul.

"I am alone, and there is not God where I am."

Originally posted by Diluted
reply to post by NonKonphormist

 

That's it... the way you said - explained perfectly the whole idea of what death more than likely without any religion or belief in a soul.

But that is what scares me.

Oh well. You said it well there... but life is just too great to want to leave. I'd love to go into cryonics if I died...

It just seems - if this is all we've got - let's live as long as we can, healthy as we can - yet while changing the world and fighting conspiracies

I hope this makes sense. While I smoke, heh. Day by Day... live it up.. One Day At A Time...

Cryonics.

I've considered the concept (not that I desire it). I do not want ANY way for my soul to be trapped. If for some reason "consciousness" is retained, the soul would possibly be as well. For that reason, I will be cremated.

I have had many deaths and many lifetimes. As I have said before, its not for me that I worry. Its for those left behind.

Yeah. I smoke too. I dont have many vice's. I enjoy a bourbon on occasion (Old Charter beats Makers Mark any day!).

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like the seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

( Kahlil Gibran)

An excerpt from my 'Bible' of sorts, full of wonderful things and this particular passage has always been a comfort to me. And the fact that I have seen departed family and friends, but thats another story.

Personally I'm absolutely unafraid to die. I'm a man of faith in Christ myself and in regards to death I think of this:
Philippians 1:21 - To live is Christ and to die is Gain.

That's one of the benefits of believing in Christ. He takes away all our fears. But of course the best benefit of them all is eternal salvation. Live a life full of repentance and deep in the word of God.

reply to post by Diluted


on nov 15 2009 (one year today) I was 35 and diagnosed with cancer. initial diagnosis was sarcoma which was an effective death sentence given the progression. Later confirmed as a type of Lymphoma, chemo and 8 months remission.

I used to think about God and whether or not I believed before. facing death I forgot about him. and saw the power of love of family and friends. Death is nothing to fear. It's a life not lived that's frightening.
I could be wrong, and apologies if I come off as patronising, but I think your fear is not of death. It is of the thought of not living, I once heard a recovering addict say she thought she was a bad person and didn't know how to become a good person. So one day she just started pretending to be good, thinking good thoughts and doing good things. Then one day she woke up realised she wasn't pretending to be a good person anymore, she'd actually become one. We can all change.
Please take it from me. Death is nothing to fear. Regrets of things not done is much more terrifying.

Oh Jack. . .there's nothing to fear. More truth to that statement than meets the eye, my friend. It is most often the nothing tht we fear. Not to get too personal, but I myself will be facing that which is inevitable all too soon. I did, for a while, have the same fears. . .but a few months ago I had, well, sort of an awakening.

You see, what we fail to realize is that is that all we know was designed to be temporary, and the basis of our faith has no stake here. Even a man who purely subscribes to logic and reason will state that energy never ceases. I have said this many times before, that the core of our existence is an energy that is connected to every moment of that which is both alpha and omega.

There is no end and no beginning, only a perception of such. It is the nature of mankind to define those things which are encountered, most especially those things mankind does not completely comprehend. As well, it is the nature to fear that which we do not comprehend.

Always remember that there is only nothing to fear, and the nothing, is a something as defined by imperfect beings with an imperfect understanding. Therefore, it's only logical that "nothing" is just a false concept.

By now, I'm not sure as to whether my post is helping you.

When I start to fear death I think about the many generations of people whom have already passed on. Its comforting to me to know that there are countless amount of indiviuals whom have already crossed that bridge. Not knowing what to exspect on the other side or the pain from dying (in some cases) is what normally gets us anxious. However, my advice would be to live the best life now so that there are no regrets later.

Ah,the question of mortality. This is probably the oldest chestnut around. I do worry about it myself as well. It's part of the great mystery of life and since no one that I'm aware of has ever come back from the 'other side' with compelling evidence of what lies beyond this physical realm, I would have to say you'll just have to wait and see.

I don't think death itself is really what scares people. I think it's more about the transition. I think people fear dying a horribly painful or slow death more than anything. And to top it all off, even if you are surrounded by room full of people when you are on your death-bed, you still take the journey alone which is probably terrifying as well.

Just my two bits, for what it's worth...

I know your concern well, as does every single person on the planet. Universal death anxiety is a major drive that affected how civilization unfolded. If you're looking for some more information on this, I would suggest reading the works of Ernest Becker. "Escape From Evil" is one of the titles to look for. Becker has answers that many are looking for, and I predict that his philosophy will be studied more widely in the near future.

reply to post by Diluted


The fear of dying is in the fact that you can not consciously admit it. Once you can consciously admit it as fact, the fear disappears. How to consciously admit it? Say it loudly to yourself, your alto ego or your God. "I'm afraid of dying." Repeat it as many times as possible until the emotional part of the fear disappears. You can forget about death after that because you have consciously acknowledged it and now you can focus on living.

The sting of the death is in the self deception.

And you will become a much more humble person knowing your own mortality.

You are not alone my friend. Your post struck a chord so deep within me, I've decided to delay sleep for a little longer.

I am terrified to die! To the point that if I let it, it could literally paralyze me. Now, some on here know I am a woman of strong faith. Others, knowing that about me, may question my faith, saying something like "if you were just stronger in your faith" ........ Nothing could be further from the truth.

Bottom line before we look at our individual beliefs, we must face the fact that we all have one thing in common, we are human. Since we are human we share a very powerful human emotion FEAR!!! I would venture that it is not death you fear, but fear of the unknown!! Welcome to the rest of the world!

We all fear the unknown on some level. No matter your faith.. Let me explain, and I can only speak from one point of view, my own. I am a Christian whom believes in my own salvation. Salvation for a Christian is necessary in order to spend eternity with Christ. (basic version) Knowing I was saved was never enough, I would sometimes obsess about this question: " What if I'm not saved?" What if we get to the final judgment and God is reading from the book of the lamb, and my name is NOT in there?? When I would first have these thoughts, it terrified me, until I learned that there are several people who profess Christianity that struggle with the same thing. I eventually overcame this....to leave me with the fear of dying even though I know I'm saved.

And then someone very dear to my heart told me of this verse in the bible: "I will never leave you, not even in death" The voice of God speaking directly to me! It didn't happen overnight, but over time it began to resonate with me....Why would Christ mention the words "NOT even in death" Maybe it is because He knew MANY would fear this?

One last thought: this book was a tipping point for me. By John Ortberg

If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The BOAT



Hang in there friend, fear is powerful but not as powerful as love! In the end love wins.

Pax

Originally posted by Diluted
Afraid of Dying


Just imagine... laying on your death bed, at age 49 from cancer - and knowing your going to die

Just imagine typing on ATS knowing you're going to die

2nd line