How to be less egoistic without harming self-esteem?

reply to post by Yeah-Alright


All the talk about ego here on ATS is usually done in new-age sense, where ego is seens as something that prevents, hinders or falsifies your spiritual journey. However, ego can refer to one part of our psyche, and such is not necessarily harmful. Ego is part of our psyche, and can be both beneficial or harmful, depends on it's qualities. There are times when more "narcistic" ego is beneficial than more "altruistic" ego and other way around. Ego is the structure which can be observed by observing one feelings.

Psychological and spiritual ego are obviously two different things as judged by the discussion on these boards. We cannot really get rid of our ego (in the psychological sense, as it is structure of our psyche), but we can excert 'discipline' on it, fashioning it like a smith molds metal; alchemy.

Once we think (and realize in the heart) that no society can exist without others and ourselves, it automatically levels the ego on it's correct place. Think about it: We cannot survive alone - first we were dependent on our parents, later society. Give your neighbour the respect he deserves.

-v

Originally posted by ChaosMagician

Originally posted by Yeah-Alright

Originally posted by iamnot
How to be less egotistic without harming your self esteem.

All you got to do is admit you are in fact egotistical. Especially when you realize you are being that way, admit to it right away.
It takes good character to admit ones shortcomings and good character is good for self esteem.
It's people who deny vehemently that there is anything wrong with them at all that are in fact very egotistical.
You're admitting you are, therefore you are not.
But you have to be in a constant state of awareness that you are egotistical. It doesn't go away forever just because you admit it one time.
Hope this helps.

Thank you.

I try to take care of this but sometimes we become rude when people hurt us, resulting in fights and misunderstandings.
I have also noticed that the more one talks to oneself (which implies listening to oneself too), it is enhancing our ego in a way, since ego is nothing but 'self'. It can be due to over-thinking as well. Of course it becomes useful at times for many to feed their egos for self-development and success, but one can become indulgent like this. I am not sure others feel the same way.
It is indeed important to be in constant state of awareness, I concur.

If you hear or see someone talking to their self, are you always 100% sure it is just themselves they are talking to?

I didn't mean if I see or hear them talking, I meant if someone talks too much consciously or subconsciously while thinking, it's all in their minds, nothing visible to others...

Ahhh... You mean a lot of racing inner dialogue. I can see how that can build up the ego. I can also see how it can tear it down. I've always thought of it more as a symptom than a catalyst but in any case, might not be a good sign.

Originally posted by ChaosMagician
Ahhh... You mean a lot of racing inner dialogue. I can see how that can build up the ego. I can also see how it can tear it down. I've always thought of it more as a symptom than a catalyst but in any case, might not be a good sign.

Yes, exactly! I meant "inner dialogue"!