Hmmmn. Since I don't live inside your head, and you were vague in the style of sales teasers about some of this, I'm not sure how to evaluate your own
experience. I can comment on mine, though.
I'm ridiculously left-brain about most things. Not as much as I used to be; I've changed a lot over the last 15 years, but prior to that, I was an
'official' skeptic, hypnotist, pretty scornful of all things psychic, alien, metaphysical, etc.
Then my perception started... cracking open you might say. Now with more study I can say I'm pretty sure I had a kundalini experience or part of one,
which had a lot of predictable side effects. Among them, I began having a lot of "anomalous experience," ranging from precog dreams to psi awareness
about someone near me to bizarre "interactions" with a sense of identities not embodied, as well as various paranormal phenomenon (quasi-poltergeist
stuff, seeming multiple timelines, sudden visions, etc.).
I managed to keep a very demanding, very left-brain job, but I felt as if I had two separate lives, one of them secret and bizarre, one the "normal"
world at work. When the former sometimes infringed on the latter timing-wise, I'd be just enraged, as if it wasn't fair, and that should be a safe
space. But I have to say, the only part that I felt made my regular job complicated, was (a) the alternate timelines issue, and that was a very brief
period that passed thankfully, and (b) that my nights were really screwed up -- I was not getting enough sleep, or enough 'rest' when I did. I'm not
sure what you mean about stuff messing with your intelligence. Maybe some examples would help.
it now feels as though there was something demonic going on, or in any event something that wanted to direct me away from getting that
job.
I've come to understand over the years that we all have more than enough aspects of self to not really need anything external to screw with us. We are
a
consortium of identities, more composing us, part of what composes others, large and small, symbiotes, and there's other relationships as
well. "Consciousness is an organizing principle." When you pull these energies into alignment with your Will (and your 'Higher Will', for lack of a
better description for the Divine nesting of identities), you join and become more singular. Much fragmentation is LEGION; much unity is I AM.
Probably the qualities which have most saved me from going around the bend over the years, particularly because I am very intellectual on one side but
working with (and spontaneously getting) intuitive stuff on the other side, are these:
1. A helluva sense of humor about myself and the universe. The more I know about life, the more I realize what an idiot I am, and I hope anybody above
me has a sense of humor too. The world is actually pretty hilarious.
2. A refusal to let my ego convince me how special I am (I'm just unique--like everyone else, lol). I remind myself regularly that I am just not that
important to the universe. This is very helpful in dealing with the messianic/paranoic tendencies that imaginal-realm (note: that does not mean
imaginary) exposure often brings.
3. A discipline where I look at everything as "a psychological case study" and so treat it like a fascinating experience, but I try not to get too
wrapped around the axle about the various events that most impact me.
4. Some degree of 'lack of integration'. This is not necessarily good you understand, and it limits me in some respects, but it also has allowed me to
skirt the two incompatible reality models crashing inside my head. Forcing these worldviews to match when you aren't ready for that, I think can cause
an actual psychotic break.
5. "It's just another day." That's the phrase that I held onto tightest during the weirdest periods. No matter how fascinating your head might be, you
still gotta get up in the morning and go make a living, and if you can't keep that together then you're screwed, so that has to come first.
6. Gluten grains are so hard-correlated to bipolar and especially schizophrenia at this point in research and practical empirical work of medical
professionals that use nutrition to deal with illness, that if you're having ANY issues with obsession, paranoia, messiana, trauma, spontaneous
unwanted experience, etc., then do yourself a huge favor and get gluten and probably dairy (especially soft dairy) as far out of your diet as
possible. It won't kill anybody to eat meat and vegetables for a little while and it can clear up problems caused by neurotoxins.
I am not suggesting here that psychic functioning is only imagination or a bad brain reaction, I hope you understand; I am saying the body and the
mind are one (the wave/particle versions of your focus-personality), and you can stomp through yucky puddles in either and it affects the other, so
don't complicate the shamanic process, which requires a very clear mind and focus to walk that borderland, with damage from simple things like
that.
I hope that helps in some way.
Best,
RC
edit on 24-10-2010 by RedCairo because: I can't type worth a damn apparently