Hilarious ad on ATS: Russian girls looking for you!

This ad on ATS cracks me up.

"Russian girls looking for you! They want to date you."

And my favourite part:

"Warning: These women will actively message you. Studies show Russian girls are very attracted to Western men."

"Warning"? Makes Russian women sound like psychotic stalkers.

They are looking for you because you have been a naughty boy,dabbling in alternative websites like ATS indeed.

These young Russian women are actually the secret internet police,who if you contact,will make an FSB file on you quicker than you can say "alien cattle abduction."

Do not respond to such advertisments.
They will marry you and steal your secrets and money for the new Russian world order of reptilian communist dystopia they have planned.

Before you can say "Above Top Se.." she will brainwash you and have you sent into the Ukranian uranium mines.
Do not say you were not warned friend.

Originally posted by Silcone Synapse
They are looking for you because you have been a naughty boy,dabbling in alternative websites like ATS indeed.

These young Russian women are actually the secret internet police,who if you contact,will make an FSB file on you quicker than you can say "alien cattle abduction."

Do not respond to such advertisments.
They will marry you and steal your secrets and money for the new Russian world order of reptilian communist dystopia they have planned.

Before you can say "Above Top Se.." she will brainwash you and have you sent into the Ukranian uranium mines.
Do not say you were not warned friend.

edit on 24/9/2010 by Silcone Synapse because: VIRUS!

edit on 24/9/2010 by Silcone Synapse because: (no reason given)

I'm in tears!

Hmm OK I was going to add that the Russian dating site will also give you a nice Russian Mafia computer virus,but couldn't seem to make the edit work,

Hence,Sorry for weird "virus" edit tag on previous...

reply to post by InvisibleAlbatross


Mate,Glad to make you laugh-I have literally laughed till tears with some of the humour on ATS,If I have managed to do that for you,I am well pleased.

Comedy is the second best free gift you can give to folks,and usually gets you into less trouble than the 1st best way...

You REALLY have to watch out for those ads though-I know some unfortunate guy who tried the whole russian bride thing(complete tosser)and he got lumbered with a nice militant commie factory machine operator,who proceeded to beat him into hospital after 6 months...

Thats for real,happened in the UK last year.

I sort of found that funny as well,but I have weird sense of humour...



SS,over an out.

reply to post by Silcone Synapse


I feel bad for that guy, but I laughed too. That's what you get when you are so pathetic as to try and rustle a bride that does not speak English, for your own pleasure.

And no worries: I would never click on those ads. I am happily taken and if she found I looked at this ad, the beating I'd get would make the guy you know look like he got a love slap.

...Then you wake up in a tub full of ice with an inexplicable incision on your lower back.


-TheAssoc.