Freestyle "Battle" Analysis

Me and a friend are having a freestyle battle...it started out of no where, when i hadnt said anything to him for like a month and he decides to single me out...whatever. I would like your input please.

Round 1:

Him:
Sup yall
Im here to tell a storey
about a lil boy whose punch lines was kinda corney
this lil boy goes by the name zach *****y
his out of his mind and a lil crazy
i think hes just upset cuz i stole his baby
Mad cuz he will never be as good as me
neva as pimp as me
Cuz im as cool as can be
People like zach cant see me
He jus mad cuz he cant spit like this
Now he at home cryin like a bitch
he is the type thatll snitch
That trailer park trash son of bitch
he poor so he thinks im rich
if aint no this is a challenge to a battle bitch.
U think my skillz suck
cuz u use to bein butt #ed
u prision slut
now battle if u think i suck.

Me:
Me?? Crying like a bitch??
WOW...thats really rich
Ill be laughing like a clown
When I take you down.
Just like the clown, ill make the kids laugh
When I pull out my Ginsu and cut you in half
I take it out and you scream "WHATS THAT?!?!?!"
Then you scurry away like a sewer rat
Not as pimp as you am I?
Now...whats that trying to imply??
You tryin to convince us that youv had a girl
But we all know that every girl that sees you wants to hurl.
What baby are you talkin about??
Wait...your talkin bout youself
Being a big baby when you go home and pout
Ain't a trialor park in sight where I live
Never in my life...God Forbid
Your skills do suck...thats how it goes
Since you the one hangin out wit them homos
By suck I really mean it
Your in the club giving head to those queer's dicks
Hmm...prison slut??
Naww...aint gon happen
But I remember hearing one time that you did goatse in the back of a truck
It turns out that you got kinda stuck while trying to #.
And they had to amputate your dick
A replace it with a toothpick
Its not like you could tell the difference anyway
But atleast this one can stay

Now...right back to you
Your a dick riding faggot
and you love the attention
How many men have you been wit??
Too many to mention
But now those faggots have given you drips
Bet you wish you didnt drop to your knees
Everytime a dude unzips
Go back to where you came from
And dont worry
Im not gonna drop the N-Bomb
Im not like those Skinheads
But wait...they love you...cuz your over there givin THEM head.
But if you say anything bout my race
Your gon wish you were able to backspace
Cuz I will drop it
And your gonna cry to stop it
Now im tired...and im goin to bed
Its 2am and i said what needed to be said...

People are saying that i won that round. What you say?

Edit...bad spelling.

[Edited on 22-6-2004 by dreamlandmafia]

Round 2

Him:
Lets get it started
I feel kinda battlen some1 who happens to be retared
So lets go im get this party started
Im the emcee arsonist
I got ppl head bouncin in the club wit dis
Now back to the battle at hand
All ppl wit eyes can see
Zachary ****** wanna be me
He wants to get girls like
He wants to spit fire like me
He thinks he spits fire when he just got halitosis
Ppl read my site and the follow me like Moses
I dont give head
but i do get it from yur mom in bed
the only reason u aint no skin head
is becuz u know yud see me end up dead
wit bloodshot eyes
Ill enhance ya cries
I kill emcees like u
Its not my falt u get sluts who leave yur bales blue
U a pale rida and i give u ya props
but u cant be on the block like me non stop
U know u live in a trailor like 8 mile
Thats why when u see my house u smile
U wanna be like me "
but that will not be
Cuz when it comes to spit # you cant see me
I aint a fag
u carry all yur fag # in bag
U run wit the rainbow
u like guys so u bacame a man hoe
Its not my falt yo dick so small
that u piss on yur balls
When i squess the trigga
got u falllen like yo last name keys
Thats why u be in prision on ya knees
Give head to dudes name big Tone
Everynight u waste minutes wit dudes on the fone
u be like "eww baby i love you"
You want a dude to reach out and huge u
and yur faggot #
is ignorant
compared to the knowledge i drop on fools
Now got sayin Niterida rules

Edit...he REALLY cant spell...or form complete sentences.

[Edited on 22-6-2004 by dreamlandmafia]

Me:
Emcee arsenist?? Nawww...never gon happen
First you needa know how to flip a lighter
And you call yerself a fighter
Id never wanna be you
Not in a million years
Cuz id be living in a zoo
Locked in with all yer fears
Leave my mom outta this
Cuz yer moms a bitch
I slit her throat and threw her in a ditch
You like #in old ladies??
Damnn...and when yer done you probaly walk of wit there granny panties
Ya know what?? Moses let the jews around in circles for 40 days and 40 nights
And unlike you...he won all his fights
What exactly would blue bales have to do with anything??
Its blue BALLS...you get it from not cumming
Just for your information...its when polly wont finish off your cracker
Now here we are...you gettin beat down by a cracker
I ain a cracker that live in no trailer
Im the guy on the side of the street makin the burner
"You know youd see me end up dead"?
Wow dude...reread that...it makes no sense
I ain gon lie...I mean offense
In a little while people will only refer to you in past tense
Pac said "pull the trigga, kill a n***a, he a HERO"
I say "pull the trigga, kill a n***a, he a ZERO"
You keep talkin like you gon shoot someone up
But lifes to precious to end while pulling a stickup
For some Newport cigs
or cash so you can get some new digs
So stop the gun talk dude its just not cool
Any dude that say he drop a nines a fool
This raps over for now
Think bout what Iv said
Ciao (chow)
Im goin to bed...

[Edited on 22-6-2004 by dreamlandmafia]

*Ring Announcer*

And now the result sbetween DLM and Random Black Dude.

Judge Vazquez scores 60 - 51 DLM
Judge Saenz scores 59-58 DLM
Judge Ibarra scores 60-59.6 DLM

The Winner by Unamimous decision....

dreamlandmafia!!!

BTW 2 of my friends were also watching this thread. They were the two other judges.

im a bizzeast at rappin and freestyling.

Round 3

Him:
I neva get beat crackers
cuz we all niggas make the best rappers
Understand dont ever call my mom a bitch
cuz u are 1 and even worse a snitch
I know how to flip lighter
And you know ima fighter
ill hit u wit dat one hitter quiter
U aint worth the lyrics and time
now understand dont ever step outta line
Rickey lawrence the greatest battler of all time

You could neva win this battle
cuz i got more words the scrabble
I know about secret fantasies
of bein but #ed under tree
By a bald guy named bill
cuz yur skillz iight but u aint real
Weak emcees you know i kill
We all know that u have no life
u spend all day in front of a computer
cuz no girls will hange with u cuz yur a looser
Maybe thats why yur as pale a paper
im dark as night and ready fight
Im makin u see the light
I dont live in zoo
I live in palace
Im primetime like deon in dallas
Now go outside and get some sun
Cuz i rhyme wit skillz and not for just fun

Now stop sippin on hater aid
cuz in emcee skills u dont make the grade
next time yur in the trailor park
#ing the hoboes in their shoppin carts
remeber that cant beat me
cuz yur skillz so weak u cant be me

[Edited on 23-6-2004 by dreamlandmafia]

This is the last rap of the battle...3 freestyles each...3 rounds. Tally up the results after this

Me:
Hey I speak clearly
So all yall can hear me
This average rap bitch is too stupid to fear me
Youv been rhyming for a while...but you know what??
I dont think you ever gonna blow up
You jsut some live bitch,
you jsut runnin yer mouth
You just talkin like a thug
witout a gun in yer house
Talkin like you carryin weight
You aint #in got an ounce
You quick to quote
My words, like the murder I wrote
I dont smoke
but yer lies got my mind provoke
This as far as it goes
You ain hustlin hoes
Bitch you better be strappin
Cuz you dead if you rappin
Yo you cant stay alive forever
So # hits the fan you might as well die together
Yeah bitch, if i want it im gon have it
Regardless if its handed to me or i gotta grab it
Dont make an ass out of yourself trying to stop me
Cuz to stop me your gon need a #ing army
You know that Im 8 Levels above you bitch
I clubbed you bitch
No ones ever heard of you bitch
Round 3s over...
Theres nuttin after this
Time to get out from under your cover
Ahh...Ignorance is Bliss

Kwestion:

How are you able to remember all of his lame ass freestyles word for word?

Originally posted by Lysergic
Kwestion:

How are you able to remember all of his lame ass freestyles word for word?

Its online...on his website...we werent able to actually get together and do it...conflicting lives. Believe me..if i was typing his up itd be SPELLED right. Mines just have typos.

[Edited on 25-6-2004 by dreamlandmafia]

bah, I thought maybe you'd have some sort of photographic memory, you are of no use to me now!

Me and two of my friends agree you won the first three rounds.