You might be a Freemason

I take it you never actually visited a lodge, right?

reply to post by tigpoppa


I understand what you are saying, My lodge is similar we have low attendence with probably 200 members on the books we probably only get a turn out of about 20 every month.

Although I have only been a MM for a year, I love the ritual and enjoy the spiritual asspects of Masonry. Maybe I am just wierd I also enjoy listening to alot of the members most could be my father or granfather, they have alot of knowledge about life.

Only you can make a difference, I know thats my goal as a Freemason to make a differnece in the fraternity, to help Masonry. To be active even when it is boring so when other younger men come in they will have a person to gravitate too.

If you think it is perfectly ok to tell your wife that you have a "you know what" at the "wink wink" tonight, and you expect her to be ok with that... You just might be a freemason!

Wow i must say not a very educational post...tsk tsk shame

I must say this is one of the most amusing threads that I have had the pleasure to read on ATS. Also, some of the jokes and not-jokes did not go over my head; so I was pleased by that as well. This thread is yet another bit of proof to show all those masonophobes out there that Masons are regular folks. Maybe I shall quote a few of these at my upcoming family reunion when I bring up the subject of my upcoming Lodge petition. That should lighten things up a bit if the discussion of my petition raises a few eybrows.

If you've met on the level and parted on the square....
you might be a freemason

If your stomach is bigger than your butt, you might be a Freemason!

Some great "ifs" there. I'm laughing and my co-workers are looking at me weird.

If you are 38 years old and you are the youngest person in the room by decades - you might be a freemason.

If you have ever given everything metal you had away and then promptly been asked for some metal by the same people who told you to give the metal away - you might be a freemason.

If you think playing dead isn't simply a trick that a dog does - you might be a freemason.

If you have ever led a crazy person to believe you were part of a group that ran the world, had ufo's, had magical powers, could get out of any traffic ticket and simply knew more than you actually did - you might be a freemason!

Originally posted by EnlightenUp
If you pay others' utility bills in secret, whether or not they dispise you, you might be a Freemason.

If you believe our commonalities are more important than our differences and that we should all just get along, man, you might be a Freemason.

If you believe in service to others, without expectation of return, you might be a Freemason.

My grandpa was a shriner. I still have his fez. I hate those tiny motorcycle driving kazoo-band weirdos. Praise Satan!!! Pass the Mountain Dew. What's the opposite of a Mason, by the way, 'cause I wanna join.

Originally posted by warpcrafter
What's the opposite of a Mason, by the way, 'cause I wanna join.

Sorry man, everyone else was being funny so I went out of character. I don't know for sure but a good guess might be a demolition expert.

You might be a Freemason if you think wearing that outfit doesn't make you look like you should be serving hors d'oeuvres.

if you are at the urinal next to 3 other guys and you say "together Brethren"...you might be a Freemason.

Originally posted by bushidomason
if you are at the urinal next to 3 other guys and you say "together Brethren"...you might be a Freemason.

I am a bit worried about you California masons.

Foxworthy worthy. Well done. OP!

I loved the "if you measure your car in cubits per gallon".

Hilarious.

If you go back from whenist you came you may be a freemason. If you are a travling man but never leave your home town you might be a freemason. If the second tuesday of the month is your night out you might be a freemason

reply to post by network dude


Well we do meet at Grand Lodge in San Fransisco each year
2nd line

you might be a freemason if your kid ask you how do you get together for a family reunion and how grandmother had so many sons right brothers

Warning: Whats the first rule of fight club?

33 up or out and the owl will fly backwards.

reply to post by network dude


Wait a minute... They AREN'T to wake the Tyler!?!?!?!?! (our Tyler is 80 years old)

Usually you wake the tyler to make sure he is still alive!!!

Second verse, same as the first...