Is it currently a social taboo to say ''hello'' to strangers ?

Originally posted by kyle43
OP you may have gotten those responses because people might have felt you were looking at them for other reasons than selling hello. You did say that you tried it this morning?

I tried it the other week.

I don't think I gave off a bad vibe, because I tried to be genuinely friendly towards people when I did it.

I feel there's just an air of negativity, suspicion and fear in a lot of cities.


reply to post by Dock9


Excellent post.

I think you got much of the psychological side of things just about spot on.

Originally posted by orange-light
do the cashier notice your friendliness?
i usually also say hi and treat them as human beings, but i realized that some supermarket bosses don.t like that.

Most of the time the cashiers will reciprocate my friendliness.

But I've noticed many customers treating the shop workers as if they are just some kind of robot with no feelings.

Being the shy guy that I am, I either acknowledge someone with a nod if they're moving fast of a "G'day" if they are moving slowly. Most of the time I get a decent response. The few gruff looks I get and I just say, "Hmm, guess it isn't a good day." And I'm on my way.

I try to make the service people laugh too. You know, clerks? My fav is that when they ask you, "How are you doing today?" I come back with, "I'm a little bloated today." I don't know how many chuckles I get from that one.

Nothing wrong with being personable. We are people after all. Don't like it? M'eh no sweat off of my, er, um, forehead. I also hug friends I haven't seen for a while. Some didn't like it but they know it's just because I've missed them and they get used to it.

Originally posted by intrepid
I try to make the service people laugh too. You know, clerks? My fav is that when they ask you, "How are you doing today?" I come back with, "I'm a little bloated today." I don't know how many chuckles I get from that one.

That's another good one that you bring up...

How many time do people say something along the lines of ''Y'alright ?'', ''How are you ?'' or ''How are you doing ?'' as a way of greeting ?
Quite often, and what's the usual response ?
''Fine thanks, how are you ?'' - even if you're not.

It's just part of the traditional everyday social greetings that usually have no actual meaning.

I'm sure it must raise a few laughs when you give a honest, or humourous, reply !

I have a couple of stories to add.

1. My uncle lived in the western suburbs of Sydney (generally acknowledged to be a "dodgy" area - although he and my aunt were both professionals - he held a top job for an Australian MSM, the ABC and his wife worked for customs). Anyway, he was from a small town originally and eventually after a few months of catching the train into the city with the same people, one day said something to the effect of, "Hey, this is ridiculous, we all catch the train together, I'm Joe* (repsecting privacy here), how are you?" and put his hand out for an introductory handshake. Apparently the other commuters shifted uncomforably, looked away, etc. He didn't bother trying again.

2. My BF and I were walking to our local shopping precinct (getting some exercise never hurts!) and we walked past an old couple. My partner, a regular, harmless, friendly guy, says "hey", in passing. The old couple look at each other, stunned, and quickly scurry off, looking almost frightened.


Really makes you wonder what's going on in the world when you can't even say "hello" without being met with fear and suspicion.

reply to post by SerialLurker


I would rather say it makes you wonder what goes on in some people's heads. Then again, the problem lies with them, not with the person who says hello.

I say something to nearly every I have to have contact with. I grew up in one of Americas busiest tourist town and learned how to treat people. on a side note I get a lot of dates and have a very active sex life with lots of partners. Always have and it keeps me trim and young

Tell ya what, I've lived in the Chicago burbs for 37 years now. My 15 yo son and I are moving Monday to a town of 2000 people, 3 cops, where everyone leaves their homes unlocked, car windows down, say hi to each other and MEAN it. I want my kid to know what real life is like: This is THAT.


I got yelled at a LOT in past jobs during my term in suburbia for being too friendly to customers. CAN YOU BELIEVE MY BOSS HAD THE GALL TO SAY THIS TO ME: "Stop talking to them. Just take their money, say thank you and go "Next". No need to ask how their day is. We don't care here; we just want their business and money."

I was upset about that to the point I started to cry. I CAN'T be mean to people. I can't NOT ask how they're doing and mean it..... I treat everyone like a long lost best friend and when I ask how your day is, I WANT to know. I love people.

Too bad I cant' move the ease of 'suburbia shopping 3 minutes away from home' and still have that 2k people town atmosphere where people STILL care. Nope. To have good people and good living, you take that - and it's well worth the 30 minute drive to the 'big town over' to get your walmart.

No joke. The biggest thing to happen to the town we're moving too in 60 years was a mcdonalds built there 5 years back. Yes, in 60 years that was the biggest thing to ever happen.

I'm so excited. Living around decent folk who don't know the meaning of 'omg lock your car doors and roll up your windows!' While there a few weeks back, I left my 500 dollar droid AND my 1400$ gaming laptop ON THE FRONT SEAT with the windows down, with about 20 people in the lot walking around and went in the store for about 30 minutes. Came out and left, stuff still on my seat untouched.

Too bad the world lost this a while ago.
Now that I found it, I aint giving it up for anything.

reply to post by sarra1833


sarra1833

I have to say I agree with your comments above, it is far better living in an environment where you can 'relax' a little and not be on your guard ALL THE TIME...

That said I think it is a people / mentality thing........ I live in the UK, in a small rural place a few miles from a MAJOR city.... During the week when I work at home, I tend to leave the front door open and windows open because I know the locals and we get very little 'passing traffic'... however at the weekends, the city dwellers get in their big 4x4's with there mountain bikes (there are no Mountains here) and their 'extreme walking gear, sticks, gators and all to do a couple of miles walk...... ?
Basically it means that at the weekends you can never be too sure of who is about and I say this because one Saturday I found several 'City people' walking around .. down my drive and IN MY gardens looking at the cottage / farmhouse I live in.... When I asked them what they thought they were doing the reply came back....'have you ever thought of selling, how much do you want??' I of course told them politely to F*** off and at least have the courtesy to approach me by the front door and not take the liberty of doing what they wanted....... and anyway I probably have more money than them anyway !!!!

My point is that when you live in a small community you start to take RESPONSIBILITY for where you are whereas in the city most don't really care, it's anonymous and money can buy you what you need......

I prefer the former not the latter....

Hope you enjoy your new home..

Regards

PurpleDOG UK

Taboo? Naaah, I don't think so. It's just a lot of people are so very wrapped up in their own lives that they forget that part of life is meeting new people, if only for a short time... I've lost count of the number of times I've said "Hi" to someone, and wind up having a great conversation about absolutely nothing. Fun time had by all.

I work in the service industry, a supermarket, to be precise. Sort of a half way sort of manager...don't ask me explain that...it's complisticated.

My job, quite obviously, entails dealing with the public on a minute to minute basis. Saying hello, greeting the customer, is the most important part of the job, IMHO. I'm the last person they see (scary as that may be...) as they leave. It's up to me to make that last impression as good as I can. Again, I've lost count of the number of conversations I've started, and customers gained, because I take a moment, or more, to be friendly.

More people should take a moment, just say "Hi". Who knows, that random person might be a good friend you've only just met.

reply to post by Stillalive


"ukraine" where the story 3guys 1 hammer come to life?

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


Sherlock,

I love you man.


Just call me The Ironieer.

Because I detect irony everywhere! And here is yet another bit of irony...

Why is it that people are afraid to say hello in public, but in private they will kiss your ass to no end to get what they want; then they wait for you to turn around so they can litter on the ground.

I think strangers are the easiest people on the planet to get along with... it's the people I spend longer than a few minutes around that creep me out.

Originally posted by TarzanBeta
Sherlock,

I love you man.

The feeling's mutual.

Originally posted by TarzanBeta
Why is it that people are afraid to say hello in public, but in private they will kiss your ass to no end to get what they want; then they wait for you to turn around so they can litter on the ground.

I think strangers are the easiest people on the planet to get along with... it's the people I spend longer than a few minutes around that creep me out.

The problem is that there are far too many selfish people in this world that only look out for number 1.

People will always suck up to you, if they think there's something in it for them, then cast you off when you are no longer needed.

While everyone is selfish in some way or another, there are the ultra-selfish, amoral people, that don't think about anything other than themselves, and they are very creepy.


The main problem with strangers, is that you just don't know who you are dealing with. The person you acknowledge on the street could be a puppy killer .

At least you usually know where you stand with people that you are already acquainted with.