This Is How It Happened

So I nearly pooped myself just now. Here's what happened.

My garage has a LOT of spiders in it, especially in the summer. Now I'm not a heavy duty arachnophobe, so I leave the spiders alone, and they leave me alone. However, recently they've decided to move underneath my dryer, so now doing laundry has become a game of: DON'T DROP ANY CLOTHES EVER. Usually this works out alright, but tonight I left my laundry basket out in the garage... right next to the dryer.

So I, put on a nice new pair of boxers and a clean shirt and head to bed. Right before I lie down on my bed my lower abdomen near the groin area starts itching like crazy. I'm glad I didn't scratch at it...

I pulled down my boxers, and lo and behold! A black spider, about as fat as my thumb, was sitting on the tip of my u know what. I yelled and tried to shake my thingy to get it off. The spider fell off, but left a long WEB TRAIL onto my willy head and bungee style and started swinging towards me.

At this point I had it; I threw off my boxers and ran out of my room, and then ran into my dad, who was pissed about all of the noise I'd been making at 3:30 in the morning. I'm of course naked, so now my dad thinks that he caught me masturbating so he just looks at me, disappointed, and goes back to bed.



Not sure but I think the spider was kind of similar to this one. I dont know how to feel or what to feel now. It feels so bad.

reply to post by EFGuy


I just got the chills!

It reminds me of when I lived in Phoenix, across from South Mountain. For some reason, we were really overrun with scorpions, more so than other areas.

To this day, I can't put on a pair of shoes, or an article of clothing without shaking them out really well. My son went to put on a pair of shoes in his closet one morning for school, and got stung!

I hope ya got the bugger, before you end up inhaling it while you sleep!

Dont worry
spiders eat bugs..
fish eat worms...
Now if you found a fish in your pants....
that would be the time to panik.


sorry I couldn't resist
I hope the spider is ok
other wise it is going to rain.


That said, I would have run screaming down the hall too...

When I was young, single and living in Charleston SC, my New Hampshire girlfriend came to visit during Christmas. A gecko bit her finger as she was trying to sweep it off the pillow. She was pissed that they were even in the house, but we told her that they hunt the cockroaches, so we let them hang out.

I guess you would've had to have been there.

reply to post by Danbones




To the OP:
Spiders hate vacuum cleaners. Try scaring them off by using one of those.

It's funny you talk of spiders! I have lots of plants in my office ( at home ) and so I have flies, which brought spiders, of course.

So, three days ago, little, yellow baby spiders came out of their nest and were walking everywhere on the ceiling, coming down on a thread right between me and the screen...

They were also running on my arms and hair... I got tired last night and collected them with a smooth brush and threw them out. ( Well, those that survived! )

Remember, that's what I say to my kids; it was probably more scared of you than you were of it!

But I admit I wouldn't want to see one on my willy. At least, it was not a Black Widow!

EDIT: I just looked at the ceiling and there are as many as yesterday! I'll hunt them later... oh well...

[edit on 24-7-2010 by Aresh Troxit]

And somewhere in your garage, probably under the drier, a traumatised spider is telling all its little mates to keep out of your knickers.

See, there's always an upside .......

Jesus Christ I wish a mod would fine you 5,000 points for not giving the spider picture warning!!!!!

You evil man. I thought your post was funny and I was sympathetic. Now I am glad you found a spider on your woo woo after that picture.

Originally posted by berenike
And somewhere in your garage, probably under the drier, a traumatised spider is telling all its little mates to keep out of your knickers.

See, there's always an upside .......

I JUST DIED...

That poor spider will now be in trauma counselling for life..

Jeez was the spider homosexual!

[edit on 25-7-2010 by EFGuy]