Depression: The first sign of an awakening.

Didn't you proclaim to be some kind of antichrist/messiah a month or two back? (www.abovetopsecret.com...)

Were you on antidepressants as I believe they can seriously alter ones mindset and mood.

Well there are a lot of depressed people so hopefully we can learn and grow as a society since what we're doing now doesn't seem to be working for us.

[edit on 11-7-2010 by ghaleon12]

reply to post by old_god


Whoa...good catch!

I always seemed bi-polar myself. But ever since the H1N1 hoax I started taking vitamin D3 I never get the great sadness anymore. Been taking it over a year now and haven't even gotten a cold either. If I miss a couple of days of taking the vitamin I can sure feel it, amazing stuff.

Originally posted by old_god
Didn't you proclaim to be some kind of antichrist/messiah a month or two back? (www.abovetopsecret.com...)

Were you on antidepressants as I believe they can seriously alter ones mindset and mood.

Hi,

No I was not on any medication.

If you remember David Icke before he became an established conspiracy theorist he went on a prime time television show claiming he was the second coming of Christ.

This is known as the Messiah Complex and is what psychology refers to as a person who thinks and feels that the world is centralised around them and that they hold the keys to unlocking this worlds problems.

Whereas most of these people who have experienced the Messiah Complex are so far gone that they are unable to integrate into society i on the other hand held down a job within the government for two years secretly holding onto this belief.

Many would point the finger and call me crazy or deluded.
The fact that I see the world for what it is. A matrix designed and controlled by a few people to imprison the minds of the general populace. I look at the past and relate to the story of Christ. It is easy for someone in my position and outlook to associate them self as a messiah type figure. I see the world as being troubled. I see where the troubles are and I see what they are. I see the world suffering as a result and I want to help. Tied into this is the conspiracy. It isn’t hard to have a messiah complex and as time goes on you will see more and more people surfacing with this.

Like the bible says “in those days there will be many antichrists”.

Please also remember that the antichrist principle and the energies within the messiah are one and the same with the possibility of duality.

It is a metaphysical concept which requires further reading to fully understand. So if you’re interested please research metaphysics and the messiah/antichrist.

When I look at the world I look at it through eyes of despair and compassion and sadness. Some may call this depression and some may even administer drugs to allow me to surface out of this abyss. This would only allow them to feel better about their safe and structured realities. It does not address the problems we face as humanity.

I am not saying i am a messiah or saviour anymore. People are not ready to accept such a statement. I will however continue to develop my spiritual soul and attain freedom from the shackles of society. I will also help others to do the same. I will not seek recognition any longer and i will not chase the dream of becoming the messiah, if it is meant to be then it simply will be.

My beliefs do not take away from my personal story, they interconnect but are also different aspects of my life.

In the same way millions of people believe in a god they cannot see or touch high above in the clouds of heaven I to hold beliefs that may appear strange and intangible. This is what faith is.

Many beliefs around the world are somewhat profound and shocking to many but none the less each person should be respected for what they believe in regardless of whether or not it agrees with you.

Just because you believe that society is good and is a happy place to be I wouldn’t attack you for believing that. Instead I would respect that but still would not be afraid to talk to you about it, sharing my perspective with you.

I am happy that I am able to be transparent and express my story without fear of ridicule or outcast. I have found my peace within and whichever way the world chooses to view me it will not change how I feel about myself or my views of the world.

My only aim now is to promote the goodness within me and watch this manifest in the world around me.

Peace and blessings.

reply to post by Spirit777


I'd like to say, that from my perspective, that once you begin to 'awake'... less and less importance is magnified upon daily occurrences... material belongings, egocentric accomplishments... anything to make you "look good" in the eyes of others...

that being said,you're still surrounded by people applying massive importance to daily occurrences and mundane subjects.

the triviality of the depressive aspect is a symptom of "your meager attempt to glean any sort of enjoyment from what others hold as beneficial to existence." WHILE seeing this new reality.

where these old subjects and concepts mean less and less to you.. the depressiveness stems from your last vestiges of attempting to hold onto those commonalities...

it's a lonely road...

but will be resolved... ABSOLUTELY..

you are not alone.

there IS LOVE. and there IS a common consciousness system that pervades all reality waiting for you to submit worldly longings to.

PURIFY!


-

Originally posted by Spirit777

Originally posted by old_god
Didn't you proclaim to be some kind of antichrist/messiah a month or two back? (www.abovetopsecret.com...)

Were you on antidepressants as I believe they can seriously alter ones mindset and mood.

Like the bible says “in those days there will be many antichrists”.

What you describe is also what others have experienced, i.e. a God Complex.

I think it is a combination of things in a persons life that cause this to occur. For some it is brought about through interactions with drugs, alcohol or their environment and for others its a physical event within their biology (bi-polar, depression etc).

I have a mild bi-polar disorder however over the years I have learned to live with it and don't rely on any pharmaceutical drugs, instead I find the best remedy is keeping your life in balance through healthy and varied eating (I intake a lot of fruit now, which can give a person a natural high), working life and timely sleep.

It is usually an imbalance in one's life that causes the other events, eventually affecting the mind resulting in different ways of perceiving information (imo it's the minds way of recovering from some traumatic event).

Mental trauma can be caused by anything. Some people are hyper sensitive but do not realise it, watching a particular program on TV, listening to something or having some kind of physical ailment that causes mental trauma because the person at the time is unable to fully process the situation.

As for the Antichrist/Messiah I am not going to state too much as I am a firm believer in god but not seated in one religious camp or another, my spiritual side is counter balanced by my methodical and logical scientific mind - when I am unable to scientifically explain something I take a leap of faith and tap into my spiritual side and vice-versa.

You speak of duality with the Messiah and I agree with this, anything that is positively aligned has to have an equal and opposite reflection, in this case something negatively aligned.

The biggest problem I find right now is how we humans try to narrow fit god into some kind of 'human' box, taking someone/something that is beyond good and evil, beyond the scope of our mortal perceptions and try to shoe horn them into a human invention so that we can justify our own failings (and the lack of action to address the failings).

I have a keen interest in the antichrist as I fully believe this person is evil in the sense of what evil refers to - being entirely and utterly opposed to anything that is human (compassion, humility, humbleness etc).

I have had various experiences where I have seen the antichrist and immediately known who he was, in all cases I had a sense of dread and impending doom.

Now as per your quote above, I believe there will be many false prophets, messiahs and gods/anti-gods who will want to manipulate this world for their own nefarious deeds.

Do I believe any of what I have experienced? Yes absolutely.

How will this affect me? It won't, I am a scientists and engineer foremost and I have a life to live which I cannot ignore and let my mind wander off into tangents threaded inside my own fantasies.

It sounds like your mind is trying to take all of the various tangents and resolve them into one path, hopefully you will achieve this, whether you choose to help yourself or accept help from others.

But the first step is to admit to your failings, only then do the illusions come down allowing you to focus on yourself because first my friend, you need to heal your own wounds before you can start reaching out to others.

[edit on 12-7-2010 by old_god]

reply to post by Spirit777


I found this because you posted a reply on mine.

I read your OP and I have to say something. I don't know what you're doing day-to-day, and I'm not making any assertion here that one thing better or "right" over another.

But -

True and selfless service to others that are less fortunate than you has a tendency to break you out of a depression that orbits your own suckiness.

You quit your job because it was polluted with selfish bureaucrats?
-At least you had a job to quit and can probably find another. Others are not so fortunate.

You are alienated from your son?
-At least you have a child out there. Some people have lost their kids to all kinds of terrible things.

I'm not being insensitive, I understand how much things can just absolutely suck. But I'm keenly aware that they can always suck just a little bit more. That is where I draw hope from. That is where I count the blessings I have over the burdens I carry.

I don't think that most clinical depression is from a mental break - I think it's because our society has allowed us the comforts to worry about everything else beside just making it through.

We're depressed because we know it could be better. 100 years ago things simply were what they were. No use getting depressed about it, and definitely no time to get depressed about it.

More than ever we now have the free time to be depressed.

Jus' sayin.

Originally posted by americandingbat
For one thing, I don't think all depression can be seen as the same thing, or treated the same way. You have obviously experienced external setbacks that led to the depression. For me, the worst depressions have come when everything is going well externally. There will be no circumstance I can point to to say, this is why I want to die today. There is no "waking up" to a realization that the world is messed up, there is only the soul-sickness of depression.

My thoughts exactly. I was depressed when I was 12 years old. I was never clinically diagnosed as I kept it a secret, and still to this day. I'm fairly private when it comes to my emotions.
I'm not talking about the woes of going through puberty and the whole "I hate my life, meh" attitude that many teens tend to have at some point. It was quite significant in that the pain was so bad internally, the only out I saw was to kill myself. I thought everyone was against me, even though I knew that they loved me, I couldn't rationalise it. I began to compose a suicide note, but couldn't finish it in the end.
My life externally probably appeared blissful: loving family, great friends, promising education, comfortable, beautiful home etc. Although, somehow I managed to let enormous pressure from my parents to perform well at school and the stress of transitioning to high school and meeting new people among other issues, build up and allow me to fall into this downward spiral. In this way, I can identify with what you're saying here. I have a predisposition to denote nervous energy and I tend let stress affect me more greatly than I have seen it affect others. And, at the time, this was the most stressful point in my life thus far.

It's possible that my experience with depression was also, in part, due to an internal battle with the state of the world, insofar as I was experiencing it more widely in my circumstances than I had been previously, with beginning high school and such things. At 12 years old though, I was hardly aware enough of anything that I know now. It would have been radically subconscious, but it is possible that my depression was the result of something emerging, or awakening, inside of me, now that the OP has presented the idea. It's an interesting concept.

I suppose, one thing I did realise throughout the entire episode was that I needed to shift my perspective if I wanted to be happy. Sometimes I wonder, if I hadn't gone through that experience, whether I would still be aware of what I know today.

Hey I agree with you that this instance of depression is a first step for you in an awakening experience. It's 100% necessary for however long it takes until you progress to the next level.

What I suggest you put into question is if the problem is solely about the world, or about the struggles you have within it. What I mean is that simply saying that it's not within you and is a product of the state of the world is a cop-out .. bear with me :

I was where you are a few years ago, and slowly moved away from this state in small incriments. I took a step forward, and two steps back for some time, until it reversed and I started taking two steps forward and one step back. Now I'm nearly out of this depression/despair altogether. What I realized was :

That what we judge in the world is but what we refuse to accept in ourselves. I realized that we can only reasonably expect to ever control our minds and our actions; and sometimes it seems we even fail at being able to do this by will alone. So being depressed about the world, means you're attached to it. It's a spiritual problem. We must accept that our sphere of influence is limited, and that other human beings have free will. Would you like someone to judge you for the way in which you acted?

Jesus said judge the actions of man, not the man himself. Ghandi said we must be the change we want to see in the world. What I mean to say by this is that by attaching, attacking, and judging anything in the world, we take away our ability to cause any real change within our selves or in the world for the better. You've gotta give up the world to conquer it ..

Just as you've realized that the depression you're experiencing is a necessary requirement of your spiritual growth, allow others to make mistakes, to experience negativity, and to grow on their own. We're all experiencing what's going on to differing degrees based on our level of awareness. It seems you have difficulty being more aware of the state of the world, and the consequences of man's actions on it. For this reason, you should become ever more conscionable and respectful towards others. It's only through this way that you may gain the respect of others and show them a better way.

You've given up a career that wasn't working out for you. So what? Now you've got the potential to do something which is worthy of your skills and talents. Pick something that rings within your heart, and set the world ablaze, brother. We simply can't expect for this gloomy state to clear up all in one day, or month, or year. We've gotta be in the good work for the long-haul.


Peace.

So sorry to hear about your situation and depression.

It is soooooo easy to sink low mentally with all the b.s. we have going on in our lives and the world picture.

I too have suffered depression, manic-depression, since 1978. It is no picnic.

The awakening/awareness you experience comes from rising to a higher plateau where seeing so much of the evil in the world is like a blast from Hell.

May I suggest that you try not to dwell on the badness that exists in this life. Getting out of such a negative work experience as you did was a great thing, certainly a move that will facilitate your healing in time. All the wounds you have from the abuse you suffered there will lessen with the more distance you put between yourself and that situation.

Let me say, there are wonderful, caring people out there - they just don't make the news. I hope you run across some soon. Yeah, sometimes it seems like the most loving one around is the dog. They are special creatures to have such unconditional love.

It helps me to go outside and spend time with nature, where there is still beauty. Wildlife, such as birds, are so cool to watch. It does help your mood to find things like that to lift your spirits. Trees and plants are amazing when you take time to reflect on them.

Being aware is a curse in a way. Stay off the plateau and from the low perspective you might find beauty and happiness in the garden of life.

As for your son, how tragic. I pray you two shall meet up some day soon. I do believe in miracles. I have experienced too many to deny them.

Namaste.

Brothers and sister many thanks for your heart felt stories.
They offer me encouragement and make me realise I am not alone in my experiences.

In this world of duality we have forces all around us. These forces operate on a spectrum from light to dark or positive to negative. Take for example good and bad. They are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Each of us are situated somewhere along the line. Some of us are very good, some are good, some are bad and some are very bad and others are somewhere in-between.

I guess my point here is that there are many spectrums, Happiness and sadness, Love and hate, Rich and poor, Dead and alive and so on.

There are many spectrums and on each one that we are aware of we fall somewhere in the spectrum.

One end of that spectrum destroys us. The other heals us. One leads to enlightenment the other to death, one to solutions the other to problems, one to freedom and peace the other to bondage and suffering.

Yes we grow or digress on each spectrum. Some of us slide all the way down rapidly others climb higher and higher.

The thing we all share in common and that we are all connected into is this spectrum of experiences. Life.

Now you can choose to live your life individually, Concerned only with your impact on the sphere around you, creating an invisible conscious bubble around you and yours. Everything else doesn’t matter. When it comes into your sphere you will either accept it or eliminate it.
You may choose to broaden your scope to the planet and thus your bubble includes everyone and everything.

I am the latter. Even though I can bring myself up and choose to live inside my own bubble of peace and happiness it will not make me disconnect from the reality of others. Until the world can emerge from the darkness or the slope it is slipping down, humanity will continue to suffer. As each man or woman has the capability of rising up into the positivity of the spectrum so too does humanity as a collective.

Most of my depression is a result of seeing the darker forces of the spectrum out pacing that of the lighter forces.

When I look on at the world I cannot do so from my own bubble. It would make me feel selfish. I cannot ignore all the pain and suffering, war and disease, hurt and anguish and all the more negative aspects of life and the way they impact on my brothers and sisters who I am connected to in experience. I cannot go on living my life feeling happy and normal knowing that war still exists and that every day millions of people suffer and die when it could all be avoided.

That is my depression and until the world’s problems are solved my individual ones never can be completely.

I have been told by friends and family and drs and psychologists that I need to step out of this way of thinking. What they fail to realise is that I can’t even if I wanted to. I am now aware and awareness is not something you can switch on or off. Once you experience it, it lives on within you. I cannot escape the darkness within me not until the world is purified of it. All I can do is learn to live with it peacefully and show whoever I come into contact with how doing this makes me better as a person or human being.

My aim is to show people the negative sides of themselves in a constructive way. Making them aware and then providing them with two possibilities, simplifying their worries or concerns and bringing to light two possible outcomes.

It is about showing others how to become better people.

This is very challenging and if not done correctly can be emotionally taxing this is why I have leant to cope with the aid of non attachment.
As people share their inner conflicts with me I no longer personalise what they say.
I always speak from the perspective of humanity and not of me as an individual.
What I mean by this is that I consider everything you do and say and its impact on the world and all its people instead of just its impact on myself.

If it adds negativity to the world then I try to readdress this with positivity. I challenge many status quos in those that approach me and normally this makes for challenging situations but I always offer a hand at every stage of another’s self realisations.

Everyone needs to wake up on the good or positive end of the spectrum and then we will have attained perfection and peace and as a result experience heaven on earth.

What is truly saddening to me is the possibility that certain humans exists that do not want heaven on earth and are happy to continue living in the flux of life experiencing all aspects of the spectrum. Some would call this normal and part of life. I would agree that it is part of life but it in my opinion is most certainly not normal. If we can aspire to surface out of the duality and into a singularity, which inevitably is the way the world is heading then we can achieve perfection and why not. The alternative would be total destruction.

My brothers and sisters the time is coming where sitting on the fence will no longer be a commodity. Where you will have to choose one end of the spectrum for the greater good of the whole.

We can no longer live in ignorance of that which goes on beyond our own bubbles. We must embrace it all and provide solutions.


Peace and blessings.

I had to answer to this thread. You hit the spot perfectly. I didn't even think about it until now but when I broke down into depression a couple years back is when I began to look at the world in a completely different light. Or more like seeing the world and the sheep for what it truly is and who they truly are. It's also around the same time that I began visiting this site.

They gave me anti depressants that only made everything worse so I put them down after only a week and decided to battle it on my own. It was a long road to recovery but one that I'm extremely grateful for. I was always very open minded and knew quite a lot about the things we regularly see on this site but I was just like everyone else in thinking... nahhhhh, it can't be true. Well now I know better.

It's also funny (well more sickening really) how being diagnosed with depression at some point in your life automatically disqualifies you from ever holding certain positions. It's like they know you're awake so they're gonna try their hardest at keeping you down and never reaching your full potential because a post depression, fully awake to the world's bs person is very detrimental to their malicious cause.

Good post, OP. My thoughts exactly. Depression is very rarely caused by any disease as in physical defect that causes a neurotransmitter imbalance. depression is in most cases caused by environmental factors.

If you are stressed out due to work/school it is no use start taking antidepressants, as they are poison. It will at best only alleviate the problem, not correct it. At worst you suffer horible side effects - suicide to name one.

I was borderline depressed, not in a critical way, but my drive was out. Then i realized it is the constant stress and the fact that i do things that don't sound true to me that causes it (school&work). I stopped both, and my depression/insomnia is long gone, and i am not taking any medications.

Don't let the medical industry label you as "sick" just so they can control you and make a buck of you. My experience with antidepressants was like a chemical assault on me.

[edit on 7/13/2010 by above]

Originally posted by Spirit777
On a spiritual level I look at the world and realise that people are asleep within a system that blinds them from the truth with temptations of the flesh, fame and fortune.

You must be a spiritual person to see that. Most don't. So be proud of yourself.

Is my depression really what psychology label it to be. A malfunction in the brain, a chemical imbalance, the result of trauma?

No it is not. They are trying to trick you into believing that you have no control over your own mind, so you need their "help".

Years ago, I was living in my unemployed friend's shed (while I was working) because I could not afford my own place to live due to child support. The doctor I went to see told me I had depression too, and I almost fell for it.

He explained to me that it was a "chemical imbalance" that was causing the problem. That was what woke me up. I was extremely aware of why I was feeling the way I was.

I told him that I believed the feelings I was experiencing were as a direct result of the hopeless financial situation I was in, and nothing more. I told him that if suddenly the child support issue disappeared, the "chemical imbalance" would suddenly rectify itself, instead of needing a lifetime on antidepressants.

He told me if that was my attitude, then he was unable to help me...

IMHO, "depression" is the overwhelming desire for something to change.

[edit on 13/7/10 by NuclearPaul]

Originally posted by Spirit777
... which I have been told have the side effects of increasing your depression and could lead you to having thoughts of suicide. These effects however, I have been told, only occur within the first few days of taking anti depressants.

I don't really want to get into too much detail, but what you describe here is very true, at least for some people. I don't know whether it's psychological or physiological, but for anyone who is depressed and about to start medication, try to make sure you have people around you all the time while you're starting the medication, to help you cope with this. You don't want to do something you'll regret, and family and friends can really help in a tough time like this.

reply to post by Spirit777


Hey, OP.... I urge you to exercise reflecttion:

-Are you looking for approval?
[x] ego
[ ] spirit

-Are you looking for superiority, not point of views?
[x] ego
[ ] spirit

-Depression is from NOT having the rewards from the confort zone?
[x] ego
[ ] spirit

-Self declaring that depression is awakening and trying to be approved
while not having reach a state of learning?
[x] ego
[ ] spirit

-Isolating from society, instead of showing the matrix at the pace people
individually can see the manipulations of their freedoms? (service to others,
regardless of rewards from this society)
[x] ego
[ ] spirit

-By being so critical of society and feeling illness from getting away of
the "confort zone", to what this is learning alligned to?
[x] ego
[ ] spirit

Just pointing out, and this goes to me as well. Its very hard to not
cave in to the ego, even in dreams.

Check out the movie "revolver" to see some of these ego clashes in
proper picture and contexts.

RP

It was a deep and violent abys of my own mind. They had to put me in asylum because I was too self destructive and delusional. It's still hard for me to write about this after 4 months of going to the funny farm, so please excuse my poor writing.

I tought I was in the top of my world, a place in a top university, straight A's and a reason to fight. Too bad that it all fell down because of something most people call depression. I had just spent a semester at the school when I found it deep and rotten place to have your education. We were forced upon by doctrines of economic bull# of not caring of your fellow men, but to seize the corporate world with mischief and backstabbing.

This was the one thing that brought me down, but it just wasn't enough. Most of the students that didn't have privileged backrounds (just as my self) were mostly placed in dorm rooms that had next to no heating, mold problem and bunch of nice little rodents. This might sound like a bunch of whining from my side but please bear with me.

I tought I had a purpose, after all I were a top student and feeling immortal at the time. I felt that I just had to push the system and make a real difference, and that's where it all started. I started to rally against the university to fix the problems in the dorm rooms and started to question the #ed up teachings of our beloved lecturers.

As you all might have thought, it ended up like a disaster. I was looked down upon my superiors and ridiculed by my peers for disagreeing. That led me to a #ed up path of psychedelic drugs and desperate fight against status quo. It was hell filled with paranoia and delusions of me being the savior of all and hunted down by the system. I kept checking my door when I stepped in to my flat because I thought they broke in there and placed bugs or even bombs in there. Other times I thought I was monitored because I were special one (chosen or something) to save all the other ones in suffering. After several weeks of insomnia I ended up moving back to my parents, who were horrified of my condition (you can imagine seeing your son after weeks of staying up and tightening the tinfoil in the head). I kept rambling about the #ed up system in the uni and one night my parents saw me glaring at a hunting rifle with a horrible lookin my face and they finally called the authorities.

The story might seem like a cliche but I kept refusing to take any pills, except the ones they forced down my throath at the first days. After that I kept my cool and didn't try to mess with the white coats. I spent my time at the asylum maditating nad finding the flaws I made earlier. The process was painfull and almost tore me apart, but I finally found atonenment, or even enlightment after the hell I went through.

Yes, depression can be the way to enlightment, but be wary, it will most likely destroy you inside out and suicide is the nr. 1 option in your mind at the point all the world collapses.

However I'm still standing and up against the system again. As one wise German fellow said: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Peace and love to you all.

A friend of mine sent this to me a while back. This has helped me to be in control of my feelings in a world that we cannot always explain, but that allot of us are currently going through.

Know that although our evolutionary process is rapidly accelerating, along with the New higher vibrational energies, we are all experiencing these changes in our own way and in our own time, according to who we are and according to our coding and plan before birth. In addition, generally speaking, our ascension process relates to how we each run our own individual energy, and what our beliefs and experiences are (in other words, how we are wired and how we vibrate). These things can be changed and will also change automatically as we clear and embody more light within ourselves. For the highly sensitive, psychic and those very open to the higher realms, the ascension process can be a bit more challenging.

Note: Of course, not all of these symptoms can be attributed to the ascension process. Please follow your own inner guidance and consult a health care professional as needed.

here's the site with the symptoms and the possibility of this actually being you evolving.
www.thoth.info...

Peace to you...

reply to post by Spirit777


Excellent post. S & F.

I highly recommend you to read:

"How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World: A Handbook for Personal Liberty"

by Harry Browne

S&F excellent post!

This is something Ive often thought of too. It would make more sense to see that depression evolved as a mechanism to tell us we are not on the right path. Just as the pain mechanism evolved so we knew that fire was hot, and not to touch.

People are depressed b/c as a child they usualy have big hopes and dreams for a positive and bright future, but instead we seem to have a catastrophic failure in our bumbling leadership. I would wager that is why most people are depressed.