reply to post by ai.therapy
I couldn't imagine how it feels to be stuck in a dream... thankfully I have never had to go through an experience like that, but, like yourself, I
know a few people that have claimed to have had that happen to them and they have said it is a horrible experience.
It's been so long now, I honestly can't say what came first... calling out to "Michael" or actually meeting him and then calling out to him for
help. That's why I am still on the fence as to whether he is real or a creation of mine. I suppose one day I could ask him... but I've never really
been able to control dreams and other experiences, so I don't know if I'd even be able to. The times that I believe that I may have been in the
astral with Michael, I was never really in control of myself. I was aware that the experience was (or felt like) more than a dream, but I was unable
to really lead any conversations or control my actions... Michael usually did all of the talking and if I did respond, it was generic one or two word
answers or questions, such as "why," "ok," etc. What a great conversationalist I am, eh?
Like you, I have had the beginnings of some strange experiences (like astral seperation), of which I can't explain, and that's what led me here. I
don't fully believe in any of this yet, but I also don't
not believe in any of it either. It's funny, in all of the nightmares, scary, and
uncomfortable situations in dreams, and such, that I have found myself in, I have never actually felt fear... I knew that I
should be afraid,
but I never actually
felt the feeling of fear. I remember knowing that these situations were wrong and I knew I wanted out of them (and thus
called Michael), but I never remember actually
feeling fear... and yet it is fear that is holding me back in my quest to find out the answers
to my questions.
The times I have actually tried to consciously seperate from my body, I have gotten to the "vibration" stage and I remember being so afraid of what
would come next, I quickly stopped myself from going any further. It sounds silly to me now, as I write this, because I know that when I am dreaming,
or "out there" (wherever "out there" actually is) I have never felt fear... even in the worst of situations (and I have had some bad ones), but
every time I am too afraid to go forward.
I think I'm afraid of finding the answers I am looking for... of confirmation that this is either real or just simply in my head. I want these
experiences to be real, I want to believe that there is an "out there," that there is a "Michael," and yet, every time I get close, I stop.
Finding out if these things are real or not, either way, it, to me at least, would be a life-changing event, and I think am afraid of the "ok, this
is how it is, what's next?" Maybe I'm just not ready for any of this yet. Or maybe I just question things way too much and I should just "go with
the flow" for once.
Wow, these things are hard to explain, eh? They're very difficult to put into words. I hope my giant ramble makes some kind of sense. Anyways, I wish
you the best of luck on your journey and I hope you continue to move forward. If you do find someone (or know someone) "over there" that you feel
comfortable with, why not try asking them if it would be ok if you called out to them when you are feeling afraid or uncomfortable? Like I do with my
Michael.
And hey, while you're at it, why don't you ask them if they know Michael, and let me know haha.
Take care!
[edit on 17-6-2010 by JourPolaire]