ATS you have NEVER heard a story like this...I'M SURE!!!!

This site is filled with serious topics..I figured a little humor would be justice...please read on...


WENATCHEE, Wash. – Police in Wenatchee are surprised at the amount of contraband an inmate was able to smuggle into the jail rectally. The Wenatchee World said the man internally carried a cigarette lighter, rolling papers, a baggie of tobacco the size of a golf ball, a smaller baggie of marijuana, a 1-inch smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink and eight tattoo needles.
Sgt. John Kruse said the volume of contraband left officers wondering.
Chelan County Regional Justice Center administrator Phil Stanley said the man was booked into jail Wednesday night to serve a disorderly conduct sentence.
Nothing was found in a strip search. A jailer later found a plastic bag and duct tape in the toilet. After questioning the inmate surrendered the contraband.

www.wenatcheeworld.com...

WOW! Talk about carrying a load! I was waiting to hear that this guy brought a recliner, 50 inch flat screen, a whole new wardrobe and a midget! I just thought this was humorous and I wanted to share it with ATS.

Frankly I am not that surprised.

People sneak stuff into jail all the time and there is money in jail by the way.

If you have drugs they go for double or triple the normal amount in jail.

You could be surprised about how much goes on in jail.

Originally posted by Quickfix
Frankly I am not that surprised.

People sneak stuff into jail all the time and there is money in jail by the way.

If you have drugs they go for double or triple the normal amount in jail.

You could be surprised about how much goes on in jail.

I know people sneak things in all the time...but I have never heard of a guy or a female sneaking this much stuff in jail in their rectum. I didn't even know it was that much room in that area. Its obviously very surprising even to the staff, as they probably see a lot of men sneak things in...but not this much stuff at one time.

Yes, I have heard this all before. This is a common practice used to smuggle drugs into jails for gang members

People will get arrested on purpose, just to smuggle this stuff in. It happens all the time.

And you guessed it.. They hold it in their anus.

What? No cell phone - LMAO!!!

Originally posted by JohnPhoenix
Yes, I have heard this all before. This is a common practice used to smuggle drugs into jails for gang members

People will get arrested on purpose, just to smuggle this stuff in. It happens all the time.

And you guessed it.. They hold it in their anus.

LOL That is just crazy! I can't imagine that! I guess the anus is equivalent to that of a kangaroos pouch. I think I'll just keep using mine to hold my waste...

I'm not going to disgust you with tales that can be told, however, fifteen years with a super max facility showed me that not only is this unremarkable, but rather boring.

Try a Saturday night special, a folgers coffee jar or eight feet of rope made out of sheets placed into guys booty safes.

There is no amount of brain bleach that can get all of the stuff out of my mind. That's one reason I could no longer function in my employ there.

This reminds me of the episode of southpark where Cartmen has to smuggle in that board game to juvi..

You know this guy was really chipping some porcelain.

seriously though if we have full body xrays in airports, why not jails?

Not that im for fully body scans just making a point...

~meathead

Wouldnt it have been easier to just bake a cake with all that stuff in it and send it to an inmate?

Seriously, a guy brings in all that crap, and doesnt think to bring a handcuff key, a wire saw, or a file.

Criminals need to prioritize better.

[edit on 7-6-2010 by brainwrek]

Originally posted by Mike Stivic
This reminds me of the episode of southpark where Cartmen has to smuggle in that board game to juvi..

You know this guy was really chipping some porcelain.

seriously though if we have full body xrays in airports, why not jails?

Not that im for fully body scans just making a point...

~meathead

Ha!
I'm not for the body scans either, but I totally agree, why wouldn't they consider xrays in the prison systems? It would definitely prevent things such as this from happening.

reply to post by Historymajor


Actually when you go in you also put your hands on your front area for cover and with both hands you can hold something there while walking after cleaning.

I know it is effective so not everything was hidden up there, but most of it likely was.

Well lol I thought I had met some of the biggest A holes that walk around!!lol!

The mind boggles...like how much time it must take to put things in place...I can only assume that these people must be extremely relaxed about smuggling contraband!!lol

reply to post by crazydaisy


imagine what would have happened if he got a call.


this all reminds me of a series of slides I once saw courtesy of a doctor friend of mine. he had these slides that he used for lectures, they were of people who had serious internal trauma (hooker who was killed by a group of men who inserted a fire hose and then turned it on), abdominal shots from the psych hospital (bedsprings and spoons are, apparently, not uncommon), some vibrators stuck in the nether regions and the piece de resistance, a crown royal bottle, inserted neck first in a man's rectum. The man came to the ER to get the bottle out and when they asked him how he got it stuck the response was the same as every other "stuck in the rectum" case:

I slipped in the shower.

im going to look for the link but i remember a story from a year or so ago where a man came to the ER with a potato lodged in his rectum..

when the nurse asked how it had gotten stuck in such a place he replied-

"i was hanging curtians in the kitchen slipped and fell backwards on to it.."

~meathead

edit: found it , i am computer impaired dont know how to make a working link but that link comes up from a google search of "potato rectum priest"

Nov 1, 2008 ... A vicar waddled into an emergency room at a hospital in Sheffield, UK complaining about a potato lodged in his rectum. ...
farnham.blogspot.com/.../priest-potato-and-poopchute.html

[edit on 7-6-2010 by Mike Stivic]

Originally posted by Mike Stivic
"i was hanging curtians in the kitchen slipped and fell backwards on to it.."

He should've said "making mashed potatos, how else would I have done it?"

Originally posted by Mike Stivic
~meathead

potato butt is more apropos

Originally posted by Crakeur

Originally posted by Mike Stivic
"i was hanging curtians in the kitchen slipped and fell backwards on to it.."

He should've said "making mashed potatos, how else would I have done it?"

Originally posted by Mike Stivic
~meathead

potato butt is more apropos

Someone told me once that a guy put a live gerbil in anus...because that was the thing to do. A doctor had to open him up and take it out. (ewwww) This story right here is just....LOL I don't know! Mind boggling

reply to post by Historymajor


All I can say to your post is amazing the stuff you learn on ATS.

wow!
talk about being 'hard up".
that is worse than when people had to hide their family heirlooms (watches , etc) in their "cavities" to hide them from the nazis.

this cat was obviously no stranger to 'boofin' things though.

honestly..
if i had to do decide whether to 'smuggle' things this way, or go without..
I would be going without, most definitely. lol

You guys all forgot about Goatse, the man could stick a 2 lieter soda bottle into his anus. Then there was an image floating around 4chan a few years back of a porn star with one of those little basketballs in her rectum as well.

Here's a story I came across some time ago,

I hope you enjoy it.

"Man Dies after Eel is inserted in his Rectum- This is just disgusting and sad. A shocking idea of a joke by a group of friends of the 59-year-old Chinese man who died of internal bleeding.

Doctors in Sichaun, China, apparently found the creature, a 50cm Asian swamp eel, in the old man’s rectum after he had died from internal bleeding.

The eel had reportedly done severe damage to the man’s intestines.

While the doctors wondered how the eel could have gotten inside, the man’s friends allegedly confessed that they had inserted the live creature as a joke after a bout of heavy drinking. This is horrible.. their idea of a joke is truly a horror. As the old saying goes, “With friends like those, who need enemies?” This is homicide! "