Question for you all

Hypothetically speaking, if you had to spend the rest of your life with somebody, would you rather:
a) love a person who could never love you back
-OR-
b) have a person love you who YOU could never love back

A or B and why?

I would prefer to be the one in love. The reason being that I would always be able to hope that one day she would love me back.

Fortunately KayEm loves me as much as I love her, so that situation doesn't exist with us.

Wow.

Hmmmmmm....

I'm (in some ways) a typical male.

I.E. incredibly needy.

I think it would be a happier overall life for both parties if I was the one on the receiving end of the unrequitable love.

Maybe I'm wrong, but men seem to have the ability to survive quite genuinely happily without feeling and expressing 'love', whereas women tend to need that emotional outlet.

Have to be honest here - I believe that my amazing wife would keep on loving me forever and a day even if I didn't love her back. Turn the tables, and I think I would be struggling...

Thankfully, Mrs Illimey 'n me are bonkers about each other.

i would chose same as pisky. the power and courage to truly love someone is far greater then to be loved(not theres anything wrong with it). i would give to know that i may never be given back. but thats justs me

[Edited on 10-6-2004 by 2009]

Originally posted by 2009
i would chose same as pisky. the power and courage to truly love someone is far greater then to be loved(not theres anything wrong with it). i would give to know that i may never be given back. but thats justs me

[Edited on 10-6-2004 by 2009]

Actually, I kinda disagree (in a way) with that.

Let's look at perfect love:

As a Christian, that to me can only mean God.

Do you think it is harder for God to love....

Or for us to allow ourselves to be loved by God?

When someone TRULY loves - that is actually effortless. The love does it all!

Of course, love like that is incredibly rare...

Well so far in my short life i have had many girlfriends most of which loved me, few which i loved. Then i've also had girls i've loved who havent wanted anything to do with me (keep in mind this wouldnt be 'true' love as i dont feel i've experienced enough to be capable of that)... both situations are as bad as each other. But i would have to say i would prefer to have her love me and me not love her (as long as she was aware of my stance). I can still treat someone lovingly without loving them, but i would hate to lead someone on and make them believe i love them when i truly dont.

The question was about spending the rest of your life with the person.

It is not easy to live with someone if you don't both love each other. It doesn't matter which of the couple doesn't love the other. Okay, so maybe you can rub along for months/years, but eventually something will give.

If, for whatever reason, you have to stay in the relationship, no-one living in the same household will be truly happy. No matter what, we are all human, and being polite to each other can only go so far. It only takes a minor occurrence for a major war to break out! Little, annoying habits become major bones of contention.

There's also the chance of the one who doesn't love meeting someone else. What if they love that other person? How much heartache is caused then?

Please do not consider commiting to another person for the rest of your life if you don't love them. It's bad enough when things start off well and go wrong.

Very good question!

It brings up a lot of ideas i mean i am christian and i help others and would rather any other pain inflicted on me rather than someone else but emotional pain like unrequited love is unbearable in my opinion.


Well i am a guy and would prefer to be on the recieving end of the love because the feeling of unrequited love is horrible, i know the other person would feel horrible but in a world like this sometimes you gotta put yourself first. Thank the good lord this a hypothetical question cos its really hard to answer.

We all know how emotional pain leaves un seen scars so i was be the loved one not the one giving the love.

:w:

To iwouldificould, and to clarify for everyone else (even though most people get it). This is one of those "if you and someone else were the last two people on Earth" or "you and someone else were stuck on a desserted island" type questions.

By the way, I found the thing about God's love very interesting. I hadn't thought about this question in that regard.

last two people in the world situation: I would choose

B. have a person love you who YOU could never love back

while I might think that I could never love them back,,,,maybe in time, this person's love and dedication to me, will allow me to not only be accepting of it, but might make me inventually love them back.

Originally posted by specialasianX
But i would have to say i would prefer to have her love me and me not love her

isn't that kinda self fish?

Isn't it more likely always some Sartean "No Exit" hell, where you love a girl that loves a girl that loves you? Or whatever variation on the theme of an eternal unrequited love triangle?

To answer my own question (finally), I would choose to love someone who could never love me back, for two reasons.
1) I always felt bad when someone had feelings for me and I could not recipricate, and
2) Even though she could never love me, I could always love myself (not in that perverted way you might be thinking), and in my opinion, you cannot love someone else until you learn to love yourself.

I would find it much easier to deal with having someone in my life who was suffering from unrequitted love for me, rather than my pining away for someone who didn't care if I existed.

I could disassociate from the person I didn't love, whereas it'd be very hard to disassociate from a person I was head over heels in love with.