"If You're Listening"

Are you listening?

Are you a listener?

If you truely are, then tell me what makes you a listener.

I know listeners are amongst us. But such are rare.

If you are no listener, then that's because you don't want to be, correct?

What do you think a person doesn't want to be a listener for? What are their reasons behind not listening?

This topic was inspired by a song called "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World.

People which listen in life feel sweet from within. People which do not listen in life feel sour from within. There are jealous people out there which aim to bury you so that no one can listen to you since they fear people listening to the delights of you. Think about what jealous people listen for in your speech before they act against it and/or you...

Pardon? lol, nah only joking with you, but im not a very good listener really, have a few friends that are and i think patience is what makes them particularly good at it.

Good listening requires undivided attention, imo, and an effort to hear what a person is saying. I took a college course on listening skills and found it to be a useful source for becoming aware of the mechanics of good listening.

It seems more often than not, including with me before being made aware, people are just waiting for the other person to finish speaking so that they can say what they have to say. So many hear what they want to hear(selective perception). In doing this, instead of actually hearing and discerning what someone is talking about, a person remains focused on what they are going to say til the pause arises.

Call it ego, bad habits or inconsideration, or seeking praise/approval, it seems prevalent in society. My experience was one of change and becoming a better listener with conscious effort....and I needed that.

Peace

[edit on 1-6-2010 by speculativeoptimist]

What makes someone not a good listener?

What is your definition of a good listener?

Are you a good listener?

Do you want someone to listen to you?

I guess you're still here!

I know I'm a listener because throughout my entire life people have told me that I don't talk much and my reply is always because I am listening.

Talkers have a need to be heard, a desire for attention, Listeners just observe.

[edit on 1-6-2010 by SeeingBlue]

Listening is much more than just hearing and processing what others have to say. When I'm truly listening to someone, its almost like I'm seeing in their eyes and walking in their shoes while I'm talking. You take their point of view and make it your own. You have to stop thinking of yourself while you do it.

I wish I wasn't. People will let you listen to them but aren't able to listen back in the same manner. And since my default state is listening I often neglect my own point of view

[edit on 1-6-2010 by thedarklingthrush]

reply to post by Phlynx


Indeed, funny thing is, he ignores the people that try and listen.

Hey, Tormento, I hope you are well. Even though I love to talk, I learn so much more by listening. I have two ears and one mouth and figure maybe I should listen twice as much as I talk. It's just like anything you want to accomplish, you have to want to learn to listen (have a good reason to) and practice every day. Anything you first try to do you're just not gonna be real good at it at first, but you improve over time. The benefits are outstanding!

Well Tormentations, since you have me on ignore, I guess you won't "listen" to this reply. I have been listening to you though.
I often struggle to understand you, but I have been listening.

I try to listen with an open mind, just like how I read. I try to think critically about everything, and that's easier for me when I read, not so easy when I listen. I feel listening requires more attention than when I read. For some people it's the complete opposite, but when I'm reading I'm able to go back and re-read a passage I didn't understand. It's not so easy when I'm speaking to somebody or listening because asking them to repeat themselves can become tedious and distracting. Some speakers also get offended, saying, "well weren't you listening?"

reply to post by Tormentations


I try to listen, but I have a shot attention span. I might of had this since childhood but its hard to listen when they don't speak up, know what I mean?

you needed a collage course to learn how to listen? your joking right?
Man you want to know what people really think and talk about find a quiet corner and just sit after a wile people acte like your not in the room and talk freely . I know that at 14 lol .
I would goint the living room when mom and dad and friends were in there talking and lie down behind the lazy boy after ten mints I would then knoe EVERY THING that they thought about me my brothers and sisters .
way cool
And by using this talent I can learn more about a person in five mints then many other learn in five years.
Not that i dont love a good conversation as well but I can talk and listen at the same time.
man I am so good at it i can keep up with 3 or 4 conversations at once lol

Originally posted by xxcalbier
just sit after a wile people acte like your not in the room and talk freely . lol

This I found to be very true. I am a quite person in real life and sometimes I will hear tales about me and the things that ive done and so forth. Although my hearing is bad due to multiple explosions during wartime, if I focus enough I can hear what they have to say and in the open. Still I struggle to get disability through VA but only time will tell if they listen to me.

[edit on 1-6-2010 by Stop-loss!]

reply to post by Tormentations


Seeing as you have me on ignore , I guess you have SELECTIVE hearing.

Methinks that's not considered Good Listening.

A good listener do it actively, he respond and take part of it as a discussion. A good listener does not give advice. i believe i am one.