Infinite's tears (My life in Poems)

Originally posted by MacKiller
Of course, we all get a free copy...

signed of course

Originally posted by MacKiller
Of course, we all get a free copy...

Of course you will
Signed aswell

"Untitled"

i feel it moving in me,
i watch it bleed
and calling me,
i cant bare it,
i cant cope,
watching my soul hanging by
the bloodstain rope,

i hate this world so much,
i feel its apathetic touch,
if i could die tonight i would,
but i really wish i could,

i hurt myself to love you,
i would kill myself to be you,
nothing in this world can take me
from you....

It sounds like you are having a rough day Infinite...

Cheer up bud

if you could see me for who i am,
you would know what i am,
i try to be me,
but some want let me be,
i love you even though it hurts,
but i dont know what feeling is worse,
lie to me,
die with me,
i just want you,
but only if you knew.

Nice work Infinite...

You should try writing a happy poem

Originally posted by MacKiller
Nice work Infinite...

You should try writing a happy poem

tried and failed.
i cant even write love poems.

Then just keep on doing what you are doing, your poems are great

I never knew i could have so much lust for hate,
i drown myself will ill health after debating and self-hating,
ones self,
why do i feel this way,
have i got anything to give today,
or anyday,
i have nothing,
i feel empty,
i kill myself for something.

Originally posted by infinite
Thank you ghost
Im sick and tired now of this hurt,
these are my words,
Life is a curse,
Suicide is my way of telling God
"I QUIT"


[edit on 27-7-2004 by infinite]

Infinity, I realize that you posted your poems long ago, long before I even heard of ATS.

But, I just ran across them now. I don't think that it's so bad that I respond to your feelings (although they may have changed by now - or not. I don't know).

But the beauty, and the bittersweet of your words will last forever. The poem that I made a partial quote of, "Ghost?", I think is the most beautiful, and the saddest. Maybe I think that because until very recently, I felt the exact same way. Except the part about the suicide. I don't judge the beliefs of others, but, I just don't personally think that it would be a choice for me.

And, maybe because of that, I have met someone who is more wonderful than all the woe I suffered most of my life.

I hope very much that you can now, or will in the future be able to say the same thing.

Originally posted by CyberKat
But the beauty, and the bittersweet of your words will last forever. The poem that I made a partial quote of, "Ghost?", I think is the most beautiful, and the saddest. Maybe I think that because until very recently, I felt the exact same way. Except the part about the suicide. I don't judge the beliefs of others, but, I just don't personally think that it would be a choice for me.

thank you for the kind words.
it makes me feel extremely good about myself when i see the effect my work has.

one day i will walk away,
away from the pain of this life,
let go of the hand that holds the knife,
and slowly i will be taken into the light,
with the migh of God,
and the power of christ,
i just might,
stop bleeding tonight,
the tears i have tasted,
are nothing,
to the blood i have wasted,
i cried,
i screamed,
i bleed,
i dream,
but sadly,
i never could be me,
but tonight i shall return,
return to this earth,
a new me,
a better me,
i shall be free.

im so pretty,
im so different,
but we still call me messy,
i tried and stoped,
but the blood kept coming,
i hear God humming,
humming the song of lust,
i tried to cry,
but God held me dry,
the suffering i go through,
is that of an old man,
my life is like sand,
being soaked into the land,
the tree of life,
breathes for me,
i bleed with the death knife,
as i close my eyes,
God never asked why,
nore should i,
i catholic dream,
turns into a satanic lust,
i learn how to act,
but fail to understand the facts,
there is nothing special about me,
and nothing of you,
what shall i do,
to become just like you?

im so pink,
and so dead,
so pretty
and yet not,
i try to become the one,
but everything falls undone,
nothing happens to me,
im so special,
im so special,
your so perfect,
oh your so perfect,
so much better than me,
i never asked to be me,
oh just let be bleed,
nothing will be,
i have the ability to make the world curl and bleed,
i get bathed in the way my aid saves me,
try to be something,
try to kill nothing,
just be you,
and ill love you.

empty words,
from an empty world,
i wish i could care,
but i feel so bare,
life is so dull,
and so black,
i wish it would always disappear,
i cant feel you near,
goodbye to you

sunlight,
might aswell burn my eyes,
for i wish never to die,
i want to walk this earth for ever,
and never get to see the gates of heaven,
for i want to be free,
not even me,
just free,
free from this world,
free from this pain,
i want to walk and see
another summers days,
for i say,
let me be free,
theres nothing more i want for you,
nothing more i need,
all i want is to be blind,
and see,
i just want to be free.

my dreams are so special to me,
cause thats why i get to be free and be me,
no one can touch me in my dreams,
im safe from the evil of the world,
no one can hurt me,
no one can feel me,
for i am safe in my dreams.

i cant take this anymore,
i cant fake this anymore,
the pain hurts to much,
i wish i could close my eyes,
and die,
but i cant,
lifes not fair,
so not fair,
i want it all to end tonight,
hopefully it just might,
they won't leave me alone,
they keep talking me,
they won't let me be,
take me away,
take me away,
i wish i could be special,
i want to shine,
i just want my time,
but i never get it anymore,
i always get shown the door,
i want more,
i just want to live,
please keep the knife away from be,
if you dont,
my life won't be.

come to me now,
oh light of my life,
my angel has returned to me,
hold me close,
and feel my heart,
take the pain,
for i cannot bare the gain,
the height of hell is too much,
burn it with the power of heaven,
love me dear God,
forgive me dear Jesus,
im sorry for the sin i have done,
ill never commit another one,
ill be special this time,
i mean it,
ill be different,
i shall try to be a better person,
Dear God i shall,
Amen.

my sadness grows,
and my life dies,
yet all the angels refuse to cry,
my life is broken,
and my night is dark,
God is peaceful,
heaven is dying,
the Earth is bleeding,
hold me close,
keep me near,
if i mean so dear,
why do you let me go,
hold me,
hold me,
i love you baby,
for you are my lady,
hold me close,
when i die,
for this is the last time i die.