inteligent suicide

i have to say i hated school not just because it bored me but because i by no means fit into the norm of the blinded masses. when i was about seven i left school for 3 years because of medical problems, when i got back i was given support by my school but i wasn't the same most of my friends didn't want to know me anymore and i became very isolated and depressed throughout my childhood. my grades were adversely affected coming out of primary school and as such i had to go to a crappy school that didn't try and help me at all were i was bullied by the kids and the teachers i eventually stopped going to school skiving all but maybe 3 lessons a week and those were maths English and systems and control. i loved those subjects and my teachers there knew i was smart enough to get the work done and get at-least a half decent grade. but throughout my time at that school i secluded myself wallowing in my depression and didn't talk to anyone. when it came to my gcse exams i had missed that much of school that my dyslexia had destroyed my chances on the exams. it didn't help that both my maths and English teacher had lost over half my coursework and in systems and control on the final stage of making my robot my circuit board was overloaded and made useless it was then too late to make a new one and start over. as a result my gcse's were apauling and when i got them i attempted suicide by overdosing on my dugs i were taking at the time but it didn't work. i then went to collage to do a bricklayers course but again i didn't fit in to the norms (didn't help i was the only mosher in the collage and the rest were chavs gangsters and 2 emos -_-) so i left because of bullying. on the side i had been working as a laborer with my uncles contracting frim, he then hired me full time and i had one of the best experiences working on some flats above a coffee shop were two of the hottest goths ever worked and one was allegedly a dom 0_0. i then worked for my other uncle for about a year on and off again being accepted because i was strong smart and physically able to do what was asked of me i adapted to the jobs fast and learnt fast. but i was still struggling with my depression and lack of self confidence i had attempted to overdose 3 more times before i tryed to get help for my depression that was in October 08 i was in a small cramped room overlooking a scummy alleyway with an overweight chavvy girl twiddling her fingers and occasionally saying oh that must have been really hard i went twice and left the next week i was working on Blackpool football club for my uncle that lasted till about February 09 i also worked on the plaza hotel in Liverpool over that time. that was the time i decided to try and change my look and my output on life. last year i met my gf and made loads of new friends online and in real life i still get payed crap wages but it gives me enough to enjoy myself i'm always thinking up new inventions story's and things to do but this society wont even let me try because i got really bad gcse's i'm going back to collage to do a computer technician course as i'm mildly interested in computes as a career i would much rather do professional demo work as i have so much experience in it but i wouldn't know were to start and ill probably be moving to wales next year with my gf. i'm not saying i'm a smart person who is being overtaken by the idiots but i have seen absolute morons get payed 12 times what i earn in a year and it makes me wonder is it really worth living in this world of hatred and moronic rule? i for one wouldn't be sad if i died without putting any children into this world.

sorry for the wall of txt and the life story but i thought if you could see it from the view of victim of this system then you might better understand how badly oppressed almost we the intellectual and the different are.

[edit on 24-5-2010 by crimson tears shini]