posted on May, 11 2010 @ 01:15 AM
I've been lurking on here for years, thought it was time to introduce myself. I am very interested in Conspiracy Theory, UFOs, the Paranormal,
Reincarnation and Metaphysical subjects. I consider myself an open minded skeptic, despite the fact I've had experiences myself my entire life.
My earliest memory of it came when I was around 5. My grandmother bought me a globe and I pointed to an island. I told her that was Madagasagar and I
lived there when I was another person. She was very religious, claimed I needed church, lol.
Next were recurring dreams where I was on a boat with other children after soldiers had captured us. I watched from the boat as soldiers in grey put
my parents one in front of the other on the bridge and shot them through with a single bullet. I jumped from the boat and was shot through my kneecap
and then drowned, I'd always wake and check my knee. I freaked out when I watched the movie Enemy at the Gates, this was what the Nazis did to the
Russians during WW2 to save bullets.
I grew up frightened of myself. My parents told me there was no such thing as ghosts, even though I regularly saw my dead grandfather at my dad's
house, the place he'd lived until his death. It didn't frighten me, it was comforting. But I knew if I told them they'd write it off as my
overactive imagination. Years later, my half sister and I were flipping through a family photo album and she acted frightened by a picture of my
grandfather. He died before her birth, so she didn't know him. She said she always saw him under the tree in the front yard looking into her
window.
For years after that, I wrote off many incidents since it seemed so insane. I was a nervous child. I felt there was this entire world only I could
see. It made me angry and frightened there truly was something wrong with me. I was afraid if I told anyone they'd laugh at me.
Now I am creative and yeah, I've got an overactive imagination, however, I DO know the difference between fantasy and reality. This was not something
I was making up and certainly wasn't doing it for attention. I spent lots of years ignoring the random things that were off. I tried to put it all
behind me and live a so-called normal life.
Fast forward to my late twenties. I walked outside and this huge gold cigar shaped object the length of my neighbor's house hovering over it. It
didn't frighten me at all. It gave me the strangest feeling of peace and contentment. After a few minutes of being spellbound by it, I called out to
my boyfriend inside the house and he saw it, too. We watched it turn slowly, then zip away more quickly than anything should move. I'm not convinced
it was alien in nature, it didn't feel alien, it felt "right". And it changed me in ways I can't begin to explain.
I was no longer bound by fear nor did I think I was alone. My reading habits til then had been pure fluff, yet I lost my taste for that overnight. I
began reading/researching things like quantum physics and string theory. I was convinced there was some logical explanation, I still am. Any
sufficiently advanced technology appears as magic, right?
Shortly after, I began having vivid dreams involving the World Tree. I had no idea what it was, but searched for what I'd seen and found it in a text
concerning world mythology. I began making connections between civilizations and their "gods" and couldn't figure out why no one else had. I quit
my job, began my own business, became successful and never looked back.
In the years since, I'm experienced moments of spontaneous prophecy. It was nothing I could affect, but witnessed by friends/family who freaked out
when it came to pass, usually within 24 hours. I still get scared when it happens, but now I feel like part of me is "tapping into" something rather
than taking me over.
I liken it to PK Dick's experience in Valis, I was opened to something more. I'm not a kook, just curious about those like me who see the
connections and perhaps the "all".
VV