The death of childhood friendships

When I grew up you had several groups of friends. Your school friends, your neighborhood friends who may have gone to different schools, friends from the teams or activities you participated in and then extended friends, like the kids who hung out with your cousin on the other part of town and when you went over there you hung out with them and considered them friends. Once and a while you were able to get a couple of these groups together and it was fantastic and everyone made more friends.


Today most kids can’t go out and just play in their neighborhoods. Too much crime, too much traffic, too many weirdos. They sit inside and hang out with folks on-line. The next time you talk to a kid other than your own, try to give them eye contact. Most of them can’t handle it – they are used to conversing without anyone being in front of them.


Kids are way too busy today, eliminating the kids across town and most other kids as well. School today is several hours of homework a night and practices for sports are several hours a week. I didn’t do several hours of homework a month. Is that good? No, but it is no better than several hours a night. Kids stop being kids today around 7 years of age.
Today kids hang out with their friends they have from their sports and activities and that’s about it. They don’t have time for anyone else.
That creates an extremely limiting friendship experience. By definition they are hanging out with a group of kids who focus on one thing, they tend to be the same kind of kids. They don’t learn the strategies of how to get along and enjoy the company of a diverse group of people. Their social skills are stunted and they will be as they age because they have not had the opportunity to develop these skills.


What got me thinking about this were two parties for the kids of friends I went to recently. Both are great kids and accomplished athletes. They both had no friends at these parties other than the girls they played ball with. I asked them both where their friends were and they both said “these are my friends”.


Sad and something that I fear cannot be replaced as we push kids to be adults far too quickly. I’m at a loss about how to take steps to solve this problem and am curious if anyone else shares some of the same thoughts


[edit on 22-4-2010 by dolphinfan]

reply to post by dolphinfan

What got me thinking about this were two parties for the kids of friends I went to recently. Both are great kids and accomplished athletes. They both had no friends at these parties other than the girls they played ball with. I asked them both where their friends were and they both said “these are my friends”.

why are you going to parties with underage girls?

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/b30c020bc8bd.jpg[/atsimg]

Too much crime, too much traffic, too many weirdos. They sit inside and hang out with folks on-line.

It is always wise to allow a child to have responsibilities and independence but not too much that it causes the child to have psychopathy.

I have not talked to a single person I went to school with since I left. I have a great group of friends, fiance etc, etc, etc..life is good. Children will develop the necessary skills to build friendships on there own. We can only help.

I tried talking to some people I grew up with. For some reason I couldn't get along with them and they irritated me.
Most of my friends from early teens can't be located or are locked up.

reply to post by zaiger


Zaiger.....

So who is this?

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/b30c020bc8bd.jpg[/atsimg]

Sorry if I'm being a bit slow.....

Kind regards
Maybe...maybe not

reply to post by Maybe...maybe not


oh that is chris hansen
en.wikipedia.org...

Originally posted by zaiger
reply to post by Maybe...maybe not

 

oh that is chris hansen
en.wikipedia.org...

Zaiger.....

Wow.....I knew nothing about that.

It sort of like a more serious version of that show where they set people up to cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriends & chase them around.

What was that called?......hang on, I think it was called "Cheaters" or something.

Imagine if you saw one of your old school friends on one of those Chris Hansen or "Cheaters" shows".

You know, there are also other sorts of predators out there.....

Regards
Maybe...maybe not

lol @ if i saw an old school friend on to catch a predator

reply to post by dolphinfan


Star & Flag

Cool thread because I was thinking the same thing. I had the same group of friends in my neigborhood for years until i was 15 and moved, but a different group of friends in school, at summer camp, at sports. All with different personalities, ideas and almost opposite ways of acting.

Today with our youth, i think that due to technology and like you said with the whole after 7 you just stop being a kid and get rushed into this pre-adolescent-adult hood where fitting in becomes priority #1 and there is no way you would get out of your group your in - experiencing another group is almost out of the question and actually hard for them to do.

I think today it makes it easier to stay attached. and it makes sense, with facebook and myspace and texting, your "group's" ideas become much more exclusive than in the past.

kids forget how to be themselves in any environment, they need social cohesion to come up with how they should act and what they should say. - Of course this is normal, and we all do and did this, but i think now it is getting more carried away and kids are getting cut off from different experiences.