Slow news day. AKA Embracing Ignorance.

This thread is for all of those stupid news stories out there that have absolutely no impact on anyone’s lives that just strike you as being so inane you wonder why someone even bothered to write that news story.

Ever run across one of those news stories that made you feel like it made you a little dumber just from reading it? After reading the story and realizing, “there’s a few minutes of my life I’ll never get back”, did you have an overwhelming desire to post that story on ATS? :shk:

It happens to me all the time. Most of the time I resist the urge, knowing that ATS is not the place for dumb stuff like this but sometimes that urge is too hard to resist. That’s why I decided to create this thread.

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We need a place to post these stupid stories just for the purpose of ridiculing them and to rant about how stupid the media has become. I understand about the 24 hour news cycle and that they need to fill space and all but some of these stories are just so dumb, you have to wonder why they would pay a reporter to write this junk.

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If you run across a story that you feel is just so dumb you have to share it, please post it here so the other members can comment on how stupid it is. I plan to be a regular contributor to this thread just to get this garbage out of my system.

:bash:

[edit on 3/19/10 by FortAnthem]

[edit on 3/19/10 by FortAnthem]

Here's a perfect example of one of those to stupid to believe stories;

Granny camps out 43 hours for grandson's ice cream

STEVENS POINT, Wis. - Here's one Wisconsin grandmother who makes time for her grandson. Michelle Cuestas of Green Bay used two vacation days and camped out for 43 hours to make sure her grandson would be first in line for the 2010 opening of a Stevens Point ice-cream landmark.

Belts' Soft Serve opened for the year Friday at 11 a.m. Thanks to grandma, 6-year-old Brayden Banks placed the first order.

The Stevens Point Journal said Cuestas arrived Wednesday at 4 p.m. She planned to spend the night in her car but after locking her keys in the car, she instead slept in the Belts bathroom.

Brayden arrived Thursday morning. The two passed the last 24 hours playing games, reading and drawing.

Read more: MSNBC

I know I couldn't have gotten through my day without THAT vital piece of information.

[edit on 3/19/10 by FortAnthem]

Here's another goodie:

Authorities believe Wash. man electrocuted by urinating on downed power line after car crash

MONTESANO, Wash. - Authorities believe a Washington man was killed by accidentally urinating on a downed power line after a car crash.

Grays Harbor County sheriff's Deputy Dave Pimentel said Monday 50-year-old Roy Messenger was not seriously hurt after he collided with a power pole Friday and called a relative to pull his car from a ditch.

However, family members found Messenger electrocuted when they arrived.

Pimentel says Messenger apparently urinated into a roadside ditch but didn't see the live wire. The urine stream likely served as a conductor, allowing the electricity to reach his body.

Pimentel says there will be an autopsy but burn marks indicated the way the electricity traveled through Messenger's body.

www.startribune.com...

I'd hate to see those burn marks. Ouch!



[edit on 3/19/10 by FortAnthem]

I love this one. They did it just because they could and then complained when a bunch of guys showed up with cameras.

Topless Women Walk Through Portland

Some peoples' jaws hit the ground, plenty of men showed up with cameras, and others - including parents with their children - were just plain offended as dozens of woman walked through downtown Portland without their tops on Saturday.

The organizer, Ty MacDowell, says she set up the event (with a police escort) because she could. Maine's nudity laws only apply to exposed genitals. MacDowell says the event was set up to bring attention to a double standard, which was on display as several men walked along topless with the women.

One thing MacDowell says surprised her was the amount of men who showed up with cameras. "I'm really upset by the men - all the men that are here, just like watching it like it's a parade."

"We should be able to walk down the street and not have this many men taking pictures of us," a participant shouted.

Some people we spoke with say they were upset at the spectacle, saying children were present, on a sunny Saturday in the Old Port - a busy time for family outings.

The walk went off without any problems. Organizers say they expect to plan similar events in the future.

WGME Chanel 13

The link has a news video of the event. Don't get too excited guys, they pixilated out all of the good stuff.

Can you say mega LOSER of the year?

This clown married a VIDEO GAME CHARACTER!






[size=18]Loser!!!

[edit on 4/7/10 by FortAnthem]

Just add freshly ground BLACK PEOPLE

Aussie Cookbook Recalled After Recipe Includes 'Freshly Ground Black People'

It is a tiny misprint, but an Australian publisher had to pulp a cookbook after one recipe called for "salt and freshly ground black people" to be added to the dish, AFP reported Saturday.

It is a tiny misprint, but an Australian publisher had to pulp a cookbook after one recipe called for "salt and freshly ground black people" to be added to the dish, AFP reported Saturday.

Penguin Group Australia pulped and reprinted about 7,000 copies of "Pasta Bible" after the typographical error was found in the ingredients for spelt tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto, The Sydney Morning Herald reported.

"We're mortified that this has become an issue of any kind, and why anyone would be offended, we don't know," head of publishing Bob Sessions was quoted as saying.

Penguin said almost every one of the more than 150 recipes in the book called for salt and freshly ground black pepper but a misprint occurred on just one page, probably as a result of a computer's spellchecker program.

"When it comes to the proofreader, of course they should have picked it up, but proofreading a cookbook is an extremely difficult task. I find that quite forgivable," Sessions said.

Read more: Faux News AU

"why anyone would be offended, we don't know"

Try saying that to the poor black guy who was ground up to add flavor to the recipe.

[edit on 4/17/10 by FortAnthem]

Beware the Tennesee tornado penis!

Hey, for the men of Portland, that story about the topless women march has a rather direct "effect" on their lives...that's news you can use!

Try saying that to the poor black guy who was ground up to add flavor to the recipe.

Wouldn't that be "flava" instead? (Oh, I'm gonna burn for that one....I just know it)...Folks need to just lighten up some...

[edit on 4-5-2010 by Gazrok]

This one is just too awesome not to share. It won't change anyone's life or the way you live but, the level of stupidity here is awesome:

Friends leave man stuck swinging at Vallejo park

At about 6 a.m., a groundskeeper of Blue Rock Springs Park heard a man screaming when he arrived at work. He then called the police to investigate.


Upon arrival, police found a 21-year-old man stuck in a child's swing, which has two leg holes.


The man told police that he had been stuck in the swing since 9 p.m. Friday after he allegedly made a $100 bet with his friends. He proceeded to lube himself with laundry detergent to get into the swing, police said.


The friends then reportedly left him swinging through the night.

Times herald


They had to call in firefighters to cut the chains to get him down and, at the hospital, it was on so tight, they had to cut it off with a cast remover. DAMN, I wish they had pics to go with this story!!