Not again...just not again.

I posted my last two breakups in detail on this forum. I always wind up looking back and going 'why did I share all of that ultra-personal information with complete strangers?' I don't know what it is with me. Something about sharing my problems with a bunch of people who don't know me (and are therefore unbiased) is therapeutic. Don't get me wrong, either -- I'm in no way trivializing this forum. You guys have helped me quite a bit in the past, and here I am again...with another story.

I'll keep it simple. We only dated for about 2 and a half months. I should be fine, right? I've dated girls much longer than that before. Here's the thing, though: I had a crush on this girl for a year and a half...no joke. She dismissed me on Wednesday with no reason. She just kept saying "I don't know what it is, but something about this just isn't working." We have so much in common. I'm kind of a unique individual. I won't be coy about it, I'm also pretty good looking for a man. I attract a lot of women initially, but once we start to talk about real things, they lose interest and so do I. This girl had my same overly-critical taste in music (I play guitar and write music, so even though it sounds trivial, music is very important.) We had the same sense of humor, grew up in the same area, enjoy the same movies and foods, and she lives only about 5 minutes away. She's very intelligent, and unlike my last 2 girlfriends, she seemed so incredibly stable. She wasn't afraid to talk about her emotions, she had a good relationship with her family...I just don't get it. She didn't even give me a chance to talk about it. She just...ended it on her own terms and that's it. I was so angry that I just stormed off. I didn't even get a real explanation. It's been almost two days now and she hasn't called or emailed me or anything.

I guess I just want to gripe. I just don't know what to do. As short of a relationship as it was, I'm absolutely crushed. I feel far worse than I did when my last relationship ended, and it lasted 10 months and ended with her cheating on me. Was I just a rebound? As horrible that is to try to swallow, she'd just gotten out of a relationship about a month before I asked her out. I knew I should have given her more time, but I just liked her so much. I tried not to pressure her. We're both in college. She's taking 6 classes and works 40 hours a week, so I knew that with her being extremely busy, pressuring her would be the worst thing to do, so I backed off. I feel like I played everything just right, and she still just rejected me. No reason, it was just....me. I have a lot going for me at the moment. I have a high GPA and I'll be earning my degree in Global Business in December. I'm in excellent physical shape, and I work at a pretty decent company (even though I HATE my job at the moment.) None of it matters, though. I just want her. I had just come out of a long depression and was finally feeling happy again...purely happy. We had a short trip scheduled for spring break. Ack...I need to get out...to change something.

-Herman

If she gave no reason, and didn't want to discuss it, she's likely moved on to someone else... Was probably even seeing him/her (hey, it is college) behind your back...sad to say....

You're young, still in college, focus on getting through that... There's still plenty of time to have relationships... Don't sweat it so much...

I'm going to ask something really difficult.

You say you had a crush on this girl for about eighteen months before you started dating her. Do you think that your feelings for her in any way compromised your previous relationship(s)?

Could the difficulties you've had with your ex-girlfriends be due in part to either them sensing that you had an interest elsewhere or you knowingthat you had an interest elsewhere?

I've got an idea of how rough you must be feeling now and I'm sorry to think of you going through all this.

The timing of this suggestion might be lousy, but if you can get her out of your system now you can start your next relationship with a clean slate. I hope that at some point this idea might be useful to you.