Soulmates: Do they exist? What are they?

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The dictionary defines a soulmate as "somebody with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility." Its also many times referred to as our "other half" or "twin soul". Someone who is one hundred percent perfectly compatiable with us. That one person who was born into this world and made just for us to find. In a study conducted, 88% of people thought there was something out there who was designed just for them as there soulmate.

The study of soulmates has been debated for a very long time. In the book of Aristophanes in Platos Symposium, a theory was said that in the beginning, humans were born with four legs, four arms, and one head with two faces. Zeus feared this power and ended up splitting them in half, condemning them to forever roam the earth to find the other half who would complete them.

The mindset of soulmates can no doubt cause trouble in relationships. Instead of looking at what we have in a relationship, we tend to focus on what our partner lacks. But some may ask why we would want a completely matched person for ourselves in the first place. You would think that having found your soulmate, you would want them to have at least some qualitys that you did not have, like yin and yang. If your soulmate was completely just like you, the other person wouldnt be very necessary, if your too different, theres no common trait to hold the relationship together.

It seems more that a person would find there soulmate in which someone who complimented them, not completed them. Hollywood movies these days skew our visions of love very much. We all remember the first time we saw The Notebook. We cried and swooned and thought to ourselves "if only we could find a love like this!". Unfortuntaly, this is not real life. But young woman growing up watching these movies develop this expectation because its what the movies are telling us love should be, what it should feel like, what it should look like.

And we have all met the girl with the dreaded "list"! Of course its okay to have standards and know what your looking for in a partner, but many of us pass love by everyday because they dont have "Number 7: wants five kids." The fact is, nobody is perfect. And even if we did find the guy with all the qualitys on our list, it doesnt mean there wont be normal problems and difficulties over the years.

As someone else put it, "Its easy to fall in love, but its hard to maintain it." Relationships are alot of hard work, and if one person isnt willing to put in just as much as the other, it will eventually fail. Both people have to want it equally.
Its very difficult to find scientific proof for soulmates. We just may never know if they truly exist or not. But building every relationship around the expectation can be toxic. We need trial and error to sort out what we want and what we know we do not want.

Maybe we are meant to find many soulmates through our lifetime. To learn from each of them and to find ourselves along the way.

So there it is! Have any of you found your "soulmate"? I would love to hear from those believe in them and those who dont.

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”







www.onlinedatingmagazine.com...
en.wikipedia.org...

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
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So there it is! Have any of you found your "soulmate"? I would love to hear from those believe in them and those who dont.

I love the idea that there's someone special out there who is perfect for me and me for her!

I haven't found a soulmate yet, heck I haven't even loved anyone! I guess deep down i'm kinda scared of being hurt allthough I know that's inevitable, so i've shye'd away from all of that, I bury myself in happy endings and love stories, quite sad really!

But I would like to think yeah soulmate's do exist and we're all drawn together at sometime in our lives!

Just my opinion though, not everyone believe's we're more than smart monkey's!


If you ask me on a bad day I may answer otherwise though!

I don't know if I beleive in the classic definition of a Soul Mate, ...... but I beleive in Love.

When you catch somebody's eye, .... and there's that breif rush of emotion, ... a kind of familiarity between both of you, and you can almost feel them.

..... all of the sudden everything makes sense, you know your place in the world, and one can live forever, .... in a single moment.

such is love, .... such is what makes life worth living.

While I've found my soulmate, I don't discount the idea that a person could have more than one out there... I mean, people get married, divorced, then find another, etc. all the time...

But, I'd like to think that most stop when they've found one though...I did.

Maybe we are meant to find many soulmates through our lifetime. To learn from each of them and to find ourselves along the way.

Wise beyond your years...

The thing about love that is so difficult to explain is that real love requires very little effort. It just happens. No amount of changing, forcing, wishing, strategy or faking will make it happen if it's not meant to be.

Of all of the soul mate love stories I have known IRL, everyone, down to the person, was busy living real life when it just "happened".

Like the song says, "You can't catch love with a net or a gun."

And if , by chance of fate , we find our soul mate and then lose them, that which they taught us - that precious part of themselves that they shared with us - remains with us forever. It changes us and helps us grow into our authentic self, more perfect to share and made more beautiful by our appreciation of the frailty of love and the fragility of life.

Kosmic,

I agree Jess is an old soul.

I also believe there are many soulmates we meet in our lives and so many people that we could or are compatible with, but ultimately I agree we will have to find ourselves along the way.

We are spiritual beings, having a human experience.


Peace out.

RT

Originally posted by kosmicjack

Maybe we are meant to find many soulmates through our lifetime. To learn from each of them and to find ourselves along the way.

Wise beyond your years...

The thing about love that is so difficult to explain is that real love requires very little effort. It just happens. No amount of changing, forcing, wishing, strategy or faking will make it happen if it's not meant to be.

Of all of the soul mate love stories I have known IRL, everyone, down to the person, was busy living real life when it just "happened".

Like the song says, "You can't catch love with a net or a gun."

And if , by chance of fate , we find our soul mate and then lose them, that which they taught us - that precious part of themselves that they shared with us - remains with us forever. It changes us and helps us grow into our authentic self, more perfect to share and made more beautiful by our appreciation of the frailty of love and the fragility of life.

Yes Jess, they exist if we want to believe they do. We need to believe that within ourselves, we are deserving of someone who will be both special and also make us ask questions of ourselves. We are blessed to have that belief.

Soulmates are wonderful for lifting us up, and also for bringing us down to earth again when need be; that might sound like a cliche, but there is more to all this: they are wonderful because we know that we are alive -- because of them. They make us truly aware of being. No matter what happens in the future, when we find a soulmate, we have a chance to grow through sharing and learning more about ourselves. That doesn't mean this awareness will always bring joy. Sometimes it can be painful for either or for both, but even so, it's better than the non-awareness that this world of "things" and the day-to-day of simple "existence".

With a soulmate, we do much more than exist.

And I believe...I believe that once we have a soulmate we always have them, and yes -- we are not limited to one.

I have one that I am married to, and I love her more now than ever. The fact that I travelled half-way round the world to find her just makes it even more special. There is another who I've known for over thirty-five years, but we could never have married as we weren't suited in that way. It just wouldn't have worked out. Being soulmates doesn't mean all will automatically be roses. But she is still special, and I know that when we eventually meet again, even after not seeing each other for many years, we will feel as close as we ever did.

You know, I sometimes wonder if the soulmates I have now, were people I knew before at some other time. ("Before" is relative, of course. It could just as well be in the future. Who can really say? Do we know "time" that intimately?) It's that feeling of instant recognition. Some medical types might say it's just some hormonal or chemical reaction, but I prefer to go with what I choose to believe, because it's what we believe that makes us what we are.

At least, that's what I believe...

And I prefer to believe in the beautiful and perhaps mystically esoteric possibilities rather than the mundane, reasonable, scientific explanations.

Best regards,

Mike

[edit on 13/3/10 by JustMike]

good thread, star and flag!

i personally hope for finding a soul mate but i wonder if its possible to 'mold' someone into your soulmate, lol.

i think we complete ourselves.

"people are looking for the perfect person instead of being the perfect person" even though not everyone is perfect we can be the best we can be.

[edit on 14-3-2010 by togetherwestand]

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


You will know when you have met a soulmate when you realise that no matter how many differences in life could have happened. One specific moment in time was meant to be.

It will blow your mind even further when you realise that, specific moments in time that you believe were meant to be, spur more of them in the future. Life is life and the more you live life the more you understand it.



Good luck in your future endeavours. Its not pretty at times, its hard at times, its beautiful at times but above all, its the journey of a lifetime.

One day at a time.

You answered your question in your question... Soulmate's means theres more than one out there.

I am presuming from your Avatar, you are not exactly old, let your life loose from its shell...



Live, after all its what you are here to do, learn from your own mistakes and others, find truth and ultimately be happy!

[edit on 14-3-2010 by XXXN3O]

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Soul mates? Very fine line between love and hate. I sometimes believe in past lives and I believe we keep coming across the same bloody people. Sometimes they are our mortal enemies.. sometimes we end up marrying them.. sometimes a mixture of both. I had a very intense relationship years ago.. we had a strong psychic connection and the chemistry was very powerful.. but it was like fire and ice.

I am thoroughly convinced we killed eachother in battles in past lives. We'll probably do it all again next time round but this time round we've called a truce.

anyway.. lets get this over and done with



[edit on 15-3-2010 by riley]

Originally posted by kosmicjack

And if , by chance of fate , we find our soul mate and then lose them, that which they taught us - that precious part of themselves that they shared with us - remains with us forever. It changes us and helps us grow into our authentic self, more perfect to share and made more beautiful by our appreciation of the frailty of love and the fragility of life.

I really love how you put that. You couldnt of said it better.

Originally posted by riley
reply to post by Jess_Undefined

 

Soul mates? Very fine line between love and hate. I sometimes believe in past lives and I believe we keep coming across the same bloody people. Sometimes they are our mortal enemies.. sometimes we end up marrying them.. sometimes a mixture of both. I had a very intense relationship years ago.. we had a strong psychic connection and the chemistry was very powerful.. but it was like fire and ice.

I am thoroughly convinced we killed eachother in battles in past lives. We'll probably do it all again next time round but this time round we've called a truce.

I actually hold kind of the same beliefs.

Very interesting stuff.

Jess great thread

My personal thought of a soul mate = true love is that it is unconditional.
So to me your soul mate is someone that you have this magical flow of unconditional love. You can disagree but with understanding and without resentment or hate. It is as though you both have equal thoughts most of the time. For instance mind reading for instance thinking and saying the same things at the same times. That is the magical aspect of having a soul mate. You can be separated for days or even months and nothing changes it’s just as great as it was on the very first day you met. It’s a love that you don’t tire of or get bored with. I want to say it’s your best friend but even better.
I really don’t think there is a way to exactly describe a soul mate other than those sparks or butterfly’s never disappear.
It could be that you match up equally also likes and dislikes, similarities which also bring‘s me to the conclusion of soul twins. You have this invisible bonding in mind and soul.

I have been with my 'soulmate' for ten years now. I think there a positive experience soulmates and negative experience soulmates.

My other half is a positive experience.

We're both very independent and accept each other for what we are. We make each other better people. However, it scares me how much I love him - I dont see that as a weakness though!

This song may be quite cheesy. But I think it sums it up beautifully.

That's pretty interesting.

It's probably already assumed, but could it be possible that you don't discover your soulmate instantly, that it can take months/years to find he/she is 'the one'?

I ask because my boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months; I have thought about it more and more about whether he is the one I want to spend my life with. He absolutely annoys the hell out of me sometimes, but I find he is smart, funny, and doesn't take life too seriously. Even though we having been together for the aforementioned amount of years/months, I'm still learning things about him, and the same goes with him about me. I find that fascinating, and the more I learn about him, the more I love him. I can only hope to imagine this can be the same for couples who have been together for a larger amount of time, say 10 years, 50 years even!

Re-reading all that, it sounds a bit corny, which is normally not me, but I can't seem to help it sometimes :-S

Edited: duplicate post
[edit on 12/4/10 by Ashtree]

[edit on 12/4/10 by Ashtree]

Soul mates? Very fine line between love and hate. I sometimes believe in past lives and I believe we keep coming across the same bloody people. Sometimes they are our mortal enemies.. sometimes we end up marrying them.. sometimes a mixture of both

I tend to agree...

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


No they do not exist.

We are all true and unique individuals.

[edit on 17-4-2010 by YissakharMelech]

Originally posted by Gazrok
While I've found my soulmate, I don't discount the idea that a person could have more than one out there... I mean, people get married, divorced, then find another, etc. all the time...

But, I'd like to think that most stop when they've found one though...I did.

No need to add more than Gazrok did here.

My wife is surely my soul mate, if there is such a thing.. as close as it gets anyway, but I don't doubt that she is the only one.

I'm happy to say that I have mine, and hope that everyone finds one of the ones.

I think we all possess just enough faults that none of us would ever truly qualify as 'soulmate' to another. We would come to disappoint them eventually. Our genuine soulmate resides somewhere in our realm of fantasy -- so perhaps it is really some aspect of the perfection that we would desire and seek to achieve in ourselves.

Over the years my sister has triumphantly announced over and over that she has finally found her "soulmate" only to have that individual wrong her or use her in some dastardly manner. One of her "soulmates" decided that he had had enough of her just after she hand excavated his back yard for his pool. So much for soulmates...