What and who am i?

I am, have and will always be different and i want to understand why. I think on a different level, im not saying im smarter than anyone els but i am thinking differently...

ill explain it like this, ever sense i was a child i have been vary intensely focused but depressed due to my own reasons and i feel schizophrenic at times because my mind is constantly shifting to ideas and theories from things like if i go from A to B how long will it take too ecery civilization in the past has ended and the most advanced ones dissapeared without a trace it seams so my mind continues to go on a evolution theory to UFO theory and so on... anyway, i not long ago decided to become a furry and take part in embraceing a more animal like personality and i feel good, why?

Before i accepted this side of me my body was self destrucitive and impulsive but borderline insane and now im just wondering who am i? who am i looking at in the mirror, because it sure isnt me...


P.S. Dont think of this as a cry for help to an adolescent looking for guidance this is merely something that's been on my mind and i want your opinions, facts, etc on what it is.

P.P.S. sorry about the grammar errors.

You're just another human. Easiest answer. You're not experiencing anything that hasn't been experienced by every human since our time began on this planet. Some humans accept their animalistic tendencies, some don't, but that doesn't change the fact that we're all animals, first and foremost.

Everything else is just an illusion created by this tumor we call a brain.

— Doc Velocity

I'll discuss this with you the best I can, but answer a few questions for me first.
1) How old are you?
2) M or F ?
3) What kind of grades do you or did you get in school?
4) Have you ever taken an IQ test?

I know a lot of folks on here will debate the entire IQ test scenario, but it is still an interest to me all the same.

reply to post by Detailed Perfection


im 15
im male
i get good grades in all classes besides english and algebra due to not doing work, but recieve top 80 or 90% on tests
ive never taked an IQ test

on a side note can you tell me where i can find a reliable online IQ test

International High IQ Society

Be warned, though, no single test will give you a definitive result. You can take 5 different tests and get totally different scores.

An IQ test doesn't tell you how smart you are, it only gauges your ability to handle a certain range of questions.

— Doc Velocity

My opinion is log off and don't come back for a few years.

Read books, study, and prepare yourself for a bright future, believe in it.

And stop this furry nonsense.

Incidentally, on that site's hardest test, I scored "high intelligence" and I just blindly guessed at about a third of the questions, whizzing through the entire test in about 3 minutes.

If I had taken the full 90 seconds on each question, probably would have scored "Gifted"... Not bragging, just a fact.

— Doc Velocity

A more animal like personality? Like a fuzzy sweet kitty or a big wild wolf or what?

I think most of us have felt different ever since we were kids. I find that open minded people, like those here at ATS are indeed different than the norm, but in a good way. You are a teenager with a racing mind thirsty for knowledge and truth. Try to slow down the thought process so as not to get overwhelmed by it.

Spend more time out in nature and away from computors for a while. Take time to breath and relax and become who you are. You will discover this on your own.

reply to post by ECWSANDMAN13


Reliable IQ test online? I don't know if I would call them reliable or not, but there are a bunch of free ones you can take.
JUST BING IT!
That link will get you started. Take 4 or 5 of them and see where the scores average out at.

Doc was right when he said you're just like everyone else. We all go through the same thing. Except for the whole furry ordeal, your post sounds a lot like myself.
Your mind running rampant across various fields of thought non-stop. Constantly thinking and processing information that really has no connection from one to the next.
Ask someone what they're thinking about and the answer is usually "Nothing." Which is usually correct because they're thinking about something that it insignificant to anyone but themselves.
When someone asked me "What are you thinking about?"
My answer is always "Nothing." Because none of the people in my everyday world could even slightly comprehend what it is I am thinking about. It could anything from trying to create a formula that would allow me to accurately guesstimate how much the entire Great Wall of China weighs (within a few .lbs). I could be thinking about the compression ratio, torque, horse power, and power to weight ration of the V12 Vanquish compared to a Shelby SuperSnake Mustang. OR, I could be day dreaming about being the POTUS.
Whatever it is, my answer is always nothing, because it's easier than trying to explain to someone What you're thinking about, Why you're thinking about it and HOW you started thinking about it. Which always ends up with them giving you a weird look. In my house anyways.

When I was your age, I'm 33 now, my grades in school were dreadful. Not because I couldn't do the classwork, but because it bored me. I visualize formulas, I imagine in mathematics and I think in 3D. It was hard for me to sit in class and be surrounded by people that couldn't think as fast or as indepth as I did. Not trying to too my own horn or anything like that. But I always felt like everyone else processed life at a much slower pace than I could.
Maybe it was just me being a normal teenager. I doubt it, but it's possible.
Anyway, I always felt out of place, like you mentioned. Then one day a teacher told me that they were going to transfer me to a new program. They called it ACI. Accelerated Course Instruction.
Due to my lack of enthusiasm for schoolwork during my 9th, 10th, and 11th grade years; I started my Senior year with 0 school credits. I failed every single class, every six weeks, every year during high school. I started my Senior year with the same amount of credits that I started my Freshman year with. ZERO
In order for me to graduate high school on schedule, I had to take all 4 years of high school in 1 year. Which is why they transferred me to the new ACI program. ACI was structured in a way that allowed the student to work on any subject at their own pace instead of working at the typical classroom rate. Basicly, they had an entire school years worth of subject matter condensed down into a smaller book. Once you go through the book you take the Final exam. Pass the test, pass the class. Anyway this is getting off subject. Long story short, we started school in August and by Christmas break in late-December I had completed all 4 years of high school requirements. Damn that was drawn out longer than what I thought it would.

Okay, here's my point ... There's nothing wrong with you. You just have to find a way to work things out at your pace. Don't fight yourself over the amount of information that you're always thinking about. Expand on it. I always have this deep seated unquenchable need to learn something. ANYTHING, just something. I don't know if you're like that or not. Don't let your overactive thought process make you feel like an outsider or different than anyone else.
A lot of people kill it. They don't want it, so they strangle it until it goes away. A lot of people have never had it. Use it to your advantage and fill your mind with any and all information that you're curious about.
BTW, I asked about the IQ test because my school administered one to me before they decided to move me to the ACI Program. I tested at 186. You ever heard the saying "There's a fine line between genius and insanity." ?


[edit on 31-1-2010 by Detailed Perfection]

I mean, as a little kid, I wanted to be a wolf, okay, and I even practiced running on all fours — was pretty good at it, actually. I also wanted to be a T-Rex (easier than 4-legged locomotion). I also wanted to be Spiderman. I also wanted to be Iron Man. Of course, this was back when I was 7 or 8 years old.

By the time I was 15, I was admiring the female body a great deal and was pretty glad to be a human male. I don't really think it's "normal" for teens to want to be animals, particularly werewolves and vampires.

— Doc Velocity

take this test

www.iqtestforfree.com...

Let me try to help.

Originally posted by ECWSANDMAN13
I am, have and will always be different and i want to understand why. I think on a different level, im not saying im smarter than anyone els but i am thinking differently...

Everyone has their own individual way of thinking. People have different logics for different things. The structure of the mind is similar, and, we all have the same mental faculties, but we are all different in our own right.

ill explain it like this, ever sense i was a child i have been vary intensely focused but depressed due to my own reasons and i feel schizophrenic at times because my mind is constantly shifting to ideas and theories from things like if i go from A to B how long will it take too ecery civilization in the past has ended and the most advanced ones dissapeared without a trace

It sounds like you are interested in history. I would recommend that you read some history books, and, you might find quite a bit of answers to your questions. Before I found out about history- I had a lot of questions, but no answers. I found history quite enlightening.

it seams so my mind continues to go on a evolution theory to UFO theory and so on... anyway, i not long ago decided to become a furry and take part in embraceing a more animal like personality and i feel good, why?

You decided to become a furry? I am pretty sure you're still human. It's natural for the mind to wander at times.

Before i accepted this side of me my body was self destrucitive and impulsive but borderline insane and now im just wondering who am i? who am i looking at in the mirror, because it sure isnt me...

You're 15 years old right? You're still in the process of figuring out who you are.

P.S. Dont think of this as a cry for help to an adolescent looking for guidance this is merely something that's been on my mind and i want your opinions, facts, etc on what it is.

P.P.S. sorry about the grammar errors.

It's fine . I hope I helped.

"What and who am I?"

I rather like this question. And let me assure you, I have no clue who I am.
I know that I am male, just about 23.

Everyday, I go through many different personalities.
Just this morning, waking up feeling depressed but went to work.
on the way I changed my attitude thinking it's all in my head so I put on a smile. as the day continued it slowly disappeared until I got back to my apartment not knowing where I stand.

I run a small business that I started about a year ago. however I find myself wondering everyday what I'd like out of life, maybe something will leave me pertinently smiling.

When I was 13, I often thought about my 20's, thinking by then I'll have it all figured out. Now I find myself more confused then before.
So if you're asking if you're normal, maybe the answer is no.

But if you're wondering if you're the only one...of course not. We are all fighting our inner demons everyday.

everything is an illution....

I also feel/felt the same way but then I found out about the layers. Includeing a scar eyed pirate that promots peace through out the Universe... Besides that the fractile that is mind got visual for me, and that is when the poo hits the fan.

The real you is a part of consciousness/awarness/god(?), you experience this creation of life through the limited senses/lenses of the Body/Mind you are aware of. The chances are slim that the body you experience is anything else than a human body.

All that stuff like im a furry, vampire, whatever, is just ego stuff. The truth is we are all pretty much alike, besides the usual variations in skin color, iq, ect.

We are beautiful as we are, because life itself is a miracle and is perfect, and so are we. We don't need to add any fantasy image about ourselfs to it.

Hope that helps

[edit on 7-4-2010 by Nightflower]

[edit on 7-4-2010 by Nightflower]

The questions you are asking can only be answered by one person, Yourself. No test or Elder is going to tell you who you are. as far as feeling differently.. Let me put this as bender would from Futurama "WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY, ALL THE TIME"

Or better yet, from the Matrix " It's like the spliter in your mind, you know something is wrong with the world but you can't quite put your finger on it"

Schizoid Personality (Disorder)

Personality Disorder Test

Don't worry , mate. I am he same. It's typical mental flexibility. Mentally ill people are the ones who attain this state before they should have or because not being prepared. Every Zen master is a schizophrenic from the point of view of the medical profession.
I like your thread. It's good to be different.