Eyes Of A Stranger

you know i think it really does make a difference. i was walking home with my shopping one day. and this bum looking guy was sitting on a bench looking depressed for some reason, well as i walked past i actually smiled and waved a little. the look on his face was priceless...

reply to post by Signals


Interesting thread and theory you postulate here.

I always make complete eye contact with the people I speak with.

Various reasons for it as well.

1) Respect.

2) Dominance.

3) Power.

4) Less confusion from person I'm communicating with.

5) So I'm not staring at a female's chest.

I could go on forever but basically so I give the person credence as another human.

While I find it good to do not everyone can or will maintain eye contact with me.

Something about maintaining eye contact tells people I know when they lie.

I wear dark glasses about 90% of the time I have to leave my home.
Problem solved.

reply to post by silent thunder


now now just because no one can see it doesnt mean you cant do it... i wear huge mirrored aviators every time i go out and still make eye contact... i dont really even care if they stare at me...
lol

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas
While I find it good to do not everyone can or will maintain eye contact with me.

Same here. And inevitably, those are the ones I don't trust. Right or wrong. I think it's programmed in. If more people could understand this we could increase our trust of those we don't understand...

Originally posted by silent thunder
I wear dark glasses about 90% of the time I have to leave my home.
Problem solved.

I wear sunglasses a lot too....But I try to remove them when making a point or just out of consideration with whom I'm speaking.

Originally posted by Signals
we could increase our trust of those we don't understand...

Yes, that would be a shining moment in human history. Personally, I don't see it coming any time soon without some sort of coercive force but I hope I'm wrong. How many say they'd like to understand but just pay lip service to sound noble and enlightened when really they'd prefer to cling to the familiarity of like thinkers?

Edit:
"Above Top Secretions"

A conspiracy-based adult film...bow, chicka, bow. Sneak your saucer into my Area 51, baby.

You had "Above Top Secretor" or something yesterday and I thought the same thing.

[edit on 1/30/2010 by EnlightenUp]

In order to test whether constant eye contact, formal posture, and varied vocal inflection increase source credibility and listener comprehension, 144 college students in an introductory speech communication course were placed in groups of equal size that listened to the same informative speech. The speaker presented to each group a different combination of the independent variables, and, after the subjects were tested for their comprehension of the speech, they rated the speaker's credibility. Analysis of the effects of the three independent variables led to the following conclusions: Eye contact seems to enhance both listener comprehension and speaker credibility, though inconsistencies between eye contact and vocal inflection may lower the speaker's believability; the speaker's posture has little effect on either credibility or comprehension; varied or limited vocal inflection has no significant effect upon the speaker's credibility, except for the likability factor of credibility; and differences in vocal inflection do not affect listener comprehension. Tables of the analyzed data illustrate the text.

University of Miami Study Source

reply to post by EnlightenUp


Perhaps you're right. We made need a catastrophe before we start to care about each other again.

It's such a powerful thing to make eye contact.
If someone's talking to me without looking at me I immediately stop looking at their eyes. I will shift my gaze ever so slightly so that I'm not looking into their eyes anymore and 9 times out 10 the person will suddenly begin looking me in the eyes. If after a while the person resorts back to not looking in my eyes I do the same again and the person starts making eye contact. It's really weird.

If I walk through a hallway or down a sidewalk with loads of people I keep my gaze steady and directed straight ahead for the most part.
I don't do it to get attention, I do it because I feel drained if I don't. But one side effect of it is people look at me a whole lot more. If I dart my eyes even for a second I will notice it.
If I walk through said hallway or down said sidewalk trying to make eye contact I notice almost noone will be looking at me, and like I mentioned I will feel drained. It's just as weird.