A cry for help with a really weird issue relating kundalini

Whatever you're into, it ain't working, because your perception of reality is ALL screwed up. Anyone who refers to himself as "my being" has a problem with self-identity — accept who you are, stop reading all that transcendental nonsense, and get back on your psychiatric medication.

FAST.

— Doc Velocity

I do hope can start to feel better soon. just consider that all your 'research' in this stuff about entities and beings and my-being, and thinking of yourself and one or another entity - this cant be helpfull to you, and perhaps if your seeing all these transdimentional phychoanalysis therapist people they are just going to help you to re-inforce what it is you are creating. maybe you can begin some really grounding type stuff. the mind is so powerfull beyond what we know and it can tear you apart if it is fed the wrong stuff. maybe you can put this mental energy into some other creative direction, like learning music play the piano or something that you would also probably be really good at but have not given yourself the chance to explore.
ok
Best wishes.