First holiday without my kids....

This is a difficult holiday for me.
Every year without fail..I would hang all the kids stockings together, waiting till they were asleep to fill them and carry the presents from the secret hiding place to put under the tree.
This year, is my first year without my 3 oldest children, as they have moved out on their own, and I have moved a distance away.There is not a way for us to connect over the holidays , as all three have work obligations.
I feel sick, I feel sad....it just feels so wrong to me.
I know there must be members here whose children are grown and live away, or can't make it home for Christmas...
How do I deal with this for the first time? I'm trying to be happy for my younger children, but my thoughts keep drifting to my oldest who will be spending the holidays alone.

reply to post by AccessDenied


You shaped their dreams, AD, and they hold yours. I can't imagine the hollow place where once the laughter of your children rang, but I can imagine the warmth that they feel for you and the songs you've sung with them at this time of the year.

You all are singing them still, even though you're apart. I sing with my parents -- who are apart and have wed others, and we feel the flow of our lives and our blessings.

If we could all be together at this time it would be wonderous. It cannot be for us, but us kids of the parents, we miss and praise our guardians -- they did the job with love and patience, as you did.

Celebrate love and warmth and the unity of family. The dividends of your investment are immeasurable.

Merry Christmas friend. There will be others.

reply to post by AccessDenied


The only thing I can suggest is that if your three oldest kids are not on Skype encourage them to do so . I am trying to get an aunt who lives overseas on Skype so I can talk to her on a more regular basis . Sure talking to someone on Skype isnt as good as being in the room with them but it is better then no contact at all .

I can't imagine how you must feel AD. Those days go by all to quickly don't they? Kids breathe life into Christmas.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Sorry you don't have your kids with you on Christmas.

About all I can do is give you a Flag and a couple of these



Anyway Merry Christmas!

Here's a couple more,

[edit on 20-12-2009 by whaaa]

Originally posted by xpert11
reply to post by AccessDenied

 

The only thing I can suggest is that if your three oldest kids are not on Skype encourage them to do so . I am trying to get an aunt who lives overseas on Skype so I can talk to her on a more regular basis . Sure talking to someone on Skype isnt as good as being in the room with them but it is better then no contact at all .

I suggested he download skype when I spoke with my oldest son last night...I have it as well as a webcam...it's still not the same though.
Being the oldest I would get him to carve the turkey cause I just butcher the damn thing.
This really sucks.

Christmas is always a pretty lonely time of year for me. I do sympathize with you AD.

Originally posted by whatukno
Christmas is always a pretty lonely time of year for me. I do sympathize with you AD.

Thanks Wukky...*HUGS..I know it's bad for you, too.
I feel just so frustrated right now...
I know it's just a silly holiday, but it's the tradition and on the phone with my son yesterday I just opened the floodgates and the waterworks were like Niagara Falls....

Argh, it breaks my heart ...

There seems to be no real solution except:

1. Overcompensate with double hugglez, love, and presents for the other kids.
2. Me coming over with my diaper/pacifier outfit to sit in.

Personally, I would go with no. 1.

Happy Christmas!

reply to post by schrodingers dog

1. Overcompensate with double hugglez, love, and presents for the other kids.
2. Me coming over with my diaper/pacifier outfit to sit in.

Personally, I would go with no. 1.

Don't be so hasty there SDog, there might be something to #2. Especially if video uploaded to the media center is involved.

Hey the bright side is now more alone time with Santa!

Originally posted by schrodingers dog
Argh, it breaks my heart ...

There seems to be no real solution except:

1. Overcompensate with double hugglez, love, and presents for the other kids.
2. Me coming over with my diaper/pacifier outfit to sit in.

Personally, I would go with no. 1.

Happy Christmas!

eeekkk....
www.chumpysclipart.com...

reply to post by AccessDenied


My daughter lives away from home, but I'm lucky cos she's coming with her B/F to spend xmas with me .....

My heart goes out to you sweetie, cos I know how difficult it must be

Try and have a Happy Christmas though xxx

Hi, AD! This will certainly be a different Christmas for you, and for those three. You raised them well, to be independent adults, and now they must establish their own Christmas traditions; you have done well with yours.

As for you, go ahead and continue to hang those stockings; what harm would that do. You could even tuck a note inside each one, wishing each a M C. Or put their picture inside. You could incorporate each stocking in another decorating area of your house.

My own two sons have been away for a few years now, but this is the first year neither will be able to visit. It does feel strange, and I have talked to each on the phone to make sure they will not be alone Christmas Day; they won't, as they will feast and party with friends.

My older son related to me his Christmas memories growing up. lol though, neither wants even half of all the decorations I have! I will surprise each next summer, when we can get together and I'll present them with a bag full of a few special items.

You'll have another good, but different, Christmas. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

reply to post by AccessDenied


Holidays without the children can be heartbreaking. Be thankful you still have the younger ones at home, even my youngest has moved out. Talk about an empty nest...sigh.

BUT...it's what we worked so hard for, to help them grow to become independent and self-reliant. Try to remember that part of it too, you did a good job.

Let the younger ones be as much comfort as possible, give and take LOTS of extra hugs, they usually don't mind.

My youngest (bless his heart) knew how brokenhearted I was and gave me a 5 week old puppy. That was almost 2 years ago, I didn't think it would help, but having someone (even a critter) to love, need and depend on you makes a difference and helps occupy your mind.

Have a Merry Christmas and a most blessed New Year!!

Aw thanks for the comfort everyone. It means so much.
Admittedly..when I wrapped presents for my older kids..I filled the stockings as well and hid them inside a big gift bag with the other presents.
It would have been just wrong if I didn't.
My younger ones are keeping me busy enough thus far..I'm just worried that Christmas Morning I'll lose it again...
I'm such a mushball...
My son, 20, knowing how I was feeling, gave me a gift early.
It is a glass plaque that reads..
FAMILY IS THE HOME WE CARRY IN OUR HEARTS


Yep, I'm a mess...

reply to post by AccessDenied


A mother's tears water the Tree of Life. I love the plaque your son gave you. So true. May your Christmas Morning tears from missing your loved ones that day be balanced by a simultaneous joyous smile as you enjoy and create more memories to hold in your Heart.

Originally posted by desert
reply to post by AccessDenied

 

A mother's tears water the Tree of Life. I love the plaque your son gave you. So true. May your Christmas Morning tears from missing your loved ones that day be balanced by a simultaneous joyous smile as you enjoy and create more memories to hold in your Heart.

That is poetically beautiful...thank you.