Conspiracy Debunked - Santa does Exist

Conspiracy Theorists claim that Santa does not exist and that it is an "inside job" but parents.

This is can be shown to be unsound, using the same logic and principles that "9/11 Debunkers" use.

Consider...

A THOSE INVOLVED IN THE COVER-UP

- Is it really likely that an entire half of the population of the world would go to such trouble to convince the other half that a big fat man was going to slide down the chimney?
- What would parents hope to gain by this?
- Why hasn't anyone broken ranks and come forward to expose everyone in the newspapers?
- Is it really likely that Department stores, concerned about legal action would all claim to have a visit by celebrity without any of them checking his ID?

B. THE OFFICIAL REPORTS
- The Post Office in Finland accepts millions of mail each year on his behalf - are they really all deceiving us?
- NORAD issues an annual report giving details of radar tracking him each year - how can a report from such a respected source be ignored?
- Reports from NIST clearly show that the average roof would be able to support the weight of a sledge and a team of flying reindeer if evenly distributed.

C. TRADE BALANCE
- Add up all the imports and exports for every country in the world and the world is a net exporter. As this should be zero, this balance must go somewhere. As it cannot leave the planet, this balance must represent material imported by the Pixie factories at the North Pole where the toys are made and indeed, that balance roughly compares with estimates for that received by kids in their stockings.

D. PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE
- There is a mountain of photographic evidence and video tape clearly showing Santa - how can conspiracy theorists not accept such clear evidence.

E. MEANS
- Conspiracy theorists point to the fact that no-one has ever seen Santa filling their stockings. Well, this is clearly unsound for the following reason: if Santa only filled the stocking of kids in Western Europe, he would spend less that 100,00th of a second for each house as he has to do it in just one night...so, no wonder no-one sees him.

F. OFFICIAL CONCLUSION
- Since Conspiracy theorists have been unable to come up with any concrete ideas about Santa, clearly we should accept the official version... that a fat, 1500 year old man delivers these toys to kids every year until they can come up with something that they can prove.






Mod Edit: All Caps Title – Please Review This Link.

[edit on 12/15/2009 by JacKatMtn]

Where's your proof for C?

I can assure you that if Santa did exist, he would of been shot down by now. That Red Communist Bastard, spreading toys and joy to kids all over the world? Consumerism is not the reason for the season. His jolly suit will match the flames consuming his pitiful soul where he now resides.

I agree, he does Exist

I think Norad is posting dis info though...

I think Santa is behind the 2012 thing and NWO has been using this massive Military buildup to prevent home from delivering presents and if he can't get through by 2012 it's time for the reign of Lucifer...

My Guess is Harrp is simply a method of preventing Christmas magic so that his sled can't fly, the location gives away the truth...

There is Hope though

I am sure the Elves are working overtime to hack the Pentagon and bring down the Satellites within the next 2 years

Santa will make it through again bro... he's been plotting thios battle since this began in WW2, to the best of my knowledge he was struck with a V@ but managed to survive in the Atlantic for weeks by living off his own body fat until rescued...

He's Lean now, he's ready for the fight...

The Nazis May have gotten the south pole... But the North is still under his care...

Santa will be back in time...

reply to post by aristocrat2


Brilliant

Thanks for the laugh =)
I'm totally switching sides - dang that Khaleid Sheikh Mohammed!

Santa is VERY real indeed. Trust me, ever since I was a child he ate the cookies and food which I prepared for him, and he gave the leftovers to his reindeer, especially Rudolph (He even drank the MILK!). Rudolph is cool with my pets, and they all know eachother on a first name basis. Yes, I know, I consider my home to be quite the celebrity hang-out!

Just be certain to never leave that fire going when you go to bed on Christmas Eve!!! Santa does not appreciate a scorched toosh, nor do his reindeer appreciate the smell of a burning Jolly Ol' Elf.

As for NORAD, I heard that one time Santa actually outran a Minuteman III. I am pretty certain that they were not aiming for him, but he tap-danced all over the warhead before taking off for South America. Santa knows no Borders, only Limitless Airspace. Even Groom Lake is open to the Man (I think that he goes there for Spring Break).

Of course he exists! But his real name is Satan (just move the 'N' to the end of his name), and he is the Anti-Christ!

1. He bribes the children of the world every year to celebrate His arrival, not the birth of the Messiah!

2. He has ensured that His brazen image is plastered everywhere, but that of the Messiah is forbidden due to the seperation of Church and State.

3. He has reduced the sacred Holiday to one of brazen Commercialism and Drunken Debauchery!

So the true conspiracy here is to lull the adults into a false sense of security, thinking that He's not real, just to make it all that much easier to RULE THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!

(It's only a matter of time before he attaches lasers to the heads of his evil flying raindeer!)

Seems like your mocking the site, this is stupid, people slow down and read it again. This is the stupidest bull# I have ever read, come on santa?

they are alive

Rare exports
Rare exports pt 2

edit had to add the second part ,

[edit on 15-12-2009 by zerbot565]

Turb...

There is soooooo much serious crap on this site every day, we all get pissed off time time over conspiracies and politics...

I spent 4 hrs tonight and will now have to stay up working all night arguing over Christmas carols in school...

Thank God for a laugh

It's coming on Christmas people, Kudos for a guy posting something funny to play with and giving us all breath for a moment.

Lighten up.

Not every night has to end with dark and gloomy conspiracies, not this time of year.

Grab some egg nog, bust out the telescope next week and try to debunk it.

Santa Clause: The Official Story

Santa Clause does exist and is on the top ten most wanted list for the FBI and Homeland Security. While it has been acknowledged that The Bush Family has had close ties to the Clause family both the Bush's and the Clause's have spent decades publicly distancing themselves from ol' Kris Kringle because of his radical Elveslamic beliefs.

It is believed that Santa Clause, aka Kris Kringle aka "St. Nick", is residing in a cave somewhere in the mountainous regions of the North Pole in the Arctic region. The legend of Santa Clause and the actual historical evidence of the man are often contradictory and yet often remarkably the same. As the legend goes, Santa Clause is a jolly old soul who every year on the eve of Christmas, hijacks a magical sled propelled by magical reindeer and flies the sled into every building, home and cottage across the world "bearing gifts". This horrific act of terrorism disguised as a "religious" ritual is rumored to have been going on for more than 1500 years when the legend first began in the 4th Century where Santa then went by the moniker of Saint Nicholas of Myra.

At that time, he was considered to be a Greek Christian Bishop who lived in Lycia, once a province Byzantine Anatolia now in Turkey. This might explain why those religious "fanatics" who celebrate the "spiritual mystical" myth of Santa eat turkey for Christmas dinner, although it doesn't explain why some people eat ham instead. The option of ham might have something to do with the portrayals of Santa where he is constantly laughing in a forced hammed up laugh; "ho-ho-ho!"

St. Nicholas' fame grew rapidly with the rumors that he stole from the rich to gave cheap and gaudy gifts to the poor, however CIA reports indicate that Santa was, and indeed still is, a puppet of the corporatist New World Order that has been in existence since long before the 4th Century and he delivers these cheap gaudy gifts to poor children in hopes of creating an addiction to consumerism that will further enrich the already obscenely rich elites. The United States Congress in 2001 initiated an investigation into this matter known as the 12/24 Commission that verifies much of these rumors.

As the official story goes, St. Nick soon became the patron saint of pawnbrokers, who are often regarded as low grade loan sharks affiliated with organized crime. St. Nick, constantly on the "lam", took up the alias of Kris Kringle and moved to Germany for a while where he lived in relative obscurity until the rise of Nazi Germany. While the Nazi's claimed to uphold Christian values and as evidence for this persecuted millions of Jews, it would seem that Kris Kringle aka Santa Clause would have been right at home in this political environment. However, Kringle was a political visionary who foresaw the problems with persecuting so many Jews and causing the massive genocide that Hitler mandated with his "final solution", and recognized that these actions were liable to lead to the Jews deciding to form a nation state of their own as a right of self defense.

It was because the artist Kris Kringle, formerly known as St. Nick had close ties to the Arab Elves from the "lost tribe of Israel", Kringle correctly surmised that after the fall of the Fourth Reich, Jews would claim Israel as their homeland and displace many of his Elven brethren who lived in that region under the name of Santa's Palace Stein, or for short; Palace Stein. It has never been clear why these Arab Elves held such a hatred for Jews and yet named their homeland Palace, Stein. But, the Elves of that region are a mysterious tribe who seemingly would rather strap bombs to their backs just to blow off the arms of Jews who would pat them on the back rather than "go with the flow" and just call themselves "Israeli's".

After the Jews claimed Israel as their own nation state, many of the Arab Elves now known as the Palacesteinians, left that region and joined Kringle in the Arctic region of the North Pole where they formed an uneasy alliance with the American CIA who trained them to be guerrilla fighters in the effort to undermine the communists of the Eastern bloc of Europe. The guerrilla fighters ranks were filled with Arab Elves who were a part of a rapidly growing religion known as Elveslam. During the Cold War that lasted several decades after World War II, Kringle and his misfit band of Elves continued to fight communists and every year on Christmas Eve would break from the fighting in order to accommodate the NWO corporatist agenda of pushing consumerism by slamming their magical sled into the sides of buildings, homes and cottages across the world delivering cheap gaudy toys to children.

However, as the fight to defeat communism began to see victory at the end of the tunnel, the Elves of Elveslam were becoming a growing concern to the CIA and American foreign policy. Americans, many being quite liberal in their politics, were loosing interest in red nosed reindeer's and surly Elves. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Kringle, now known as Santa Clause hijacked a Rudolph class sled and all the Elves shouted out with glee as Santa slammed the sled into the side of the Sears Tower in Chicago. The original plan was slam it into the World Trade Center but developers had brought those buildings down with controlled explosives the year before in order to build a shopping mall and a apartment complex known as Ground Zero.

After the infamous tragedy of 12/24 when Santa's sleigh broke several windows somewhere towards the top of the Sear's Tower, then President Bush whose family had ties with the Kringle family, declared Santa Clause, Satan Clause and an evil man who must be stopped at all costs. So, he convinced Congress to go along with a unilateral war on the North Pole and Saddam Hussein because Saddam and Santa sounded an awful lot alike, and America the Beautiful shed its immense popularity, (as the liberals liked to believe), and became known as America the Empire builders.

President Bush declared himself King George and assured the world that they were at war with toys of mass destruction and not at war with Elveslam, which he acknowledged was a benign religion and that the Elves of the Arctic were radical Elveslamic-fascists who must be stopped at all costs. He had hoped to gain a Nobel Peace Prize for this effort but alas, the award went to Gore and Obama instead.

Merry Xmas!

great thread man, thanks for the Christmas laugh.


Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.

[edit on 15-12-2009 by Seiko]

reply to post by aristocrat2


YAY! Yes, Santa does exist.

But why does he usually bring you presents you don't want?

Oh well, I guess it is tough pleasing all those people.

Thanks for a brilliant laugh.

I like the irony in this post. Its actually brilliant.

I know if i told my kids that Santa is just a fairy tail. My wife would through a fit. But still my kids are scared shirtless every time the fat man in a monster mask show up at the door. Trying to hug my kids.

I guess we star at a very early age when it comes to coning people

[edit on 27.06.08 by spy66]

This is obviously a post by a disinfo-agent.
Everyone knows Santa uses elves... NOT PIXIES! This is the proof!
What is it you are trying to keep from us?!

reply to post by spy66


Spy, your kids are right.

No-one should try and hug them unless okayed by you.

This thing of Santa being a fat jolly man - a bit off when so many in the world are suffering from obesity and the rest are starving - it dates back to before these things mattered.

Im certain that this is a repeat thread. I know Ive come across a thread before using Santa's existence to prove a point.

I had an uncle that worked as a security guard at Los Alamos.

He said he saw Santa being escorted in by MIB.

I think the truely frightening thing is not that fact that Santa exists. From the evidence you have provided, this can be taken as proof positive.

It is the fact that our perspective of Santa changes as we grow older. When we are children, Santa is the jolly old fat man who slips down you chimney and brings presents, joy and happiness during the Christmas period.

As adults however, he's the old fat git who comes round once a year, breaks into your house, eats your food, drinks your booze and takes all your money in exchange for naff novelty items or socks.

So, the question is, does Santa exert mind control over our children in order to extort wealth from the rest of the population in order to further fund the NWO?