Monty Python LIFE sketch

hey Ok now this is NOT a story but i felt it was the best place to put my own tiwsted view "satiricaly" on ATS.. I thought about doing a thread but hey we all need a grin so its better not to offened people! so here goes. and sorry if i make mistakes spelling / gramma ect ect..

Roll credits!!! and music !!

God: lalalalaaaa im soooo bored!!!! what can i do today!! I think illl make a universe!

Now you have to understand at this point I stop the film to flash up on screen WELL WE DONT KNOW GOD IS REAL. Just to keep people happy!! so bare with us lol..

Ok lets continue!

God: Righty ho, got me universe going here all looking good!!, right now im missiong somthing, fink ill add some life "god is a cockny by the way" Woo good got me life going.. seems bit dull tho. Oh god "ironic" i think ill make a man!!!

at this point you should get the joke if not well i cant help! lol

God: Well adam looks good to me so far, he seems a lonley sod tho, ill give him a friend and stuff

at this point EVE pops into the show

God: ok good got adma got eve got universe.. hm seems still to perfect tho i need some chaos!! ah ok ill make a devil kinda thing to keep man on his toes and see how he reacts but just for kicks ill make him a snake LOL!!!

At this point you get the idea so lets move on abit...

Snake: Hisssssss wazap adam and eve
Adam: Hey there wow a talking snake!!!
Snake: yeah i can talk dont cha know!!
Adam: but thats not possible!!!
Snake: wat you mean?? god made use both!!
Adman: rolls eyes
Eve: hey adam who is this
Adam: its some talking snake dude
Eve: can we keep him?
Adam: Sure, i would do anythiing for you darling
Eve: "big smiles"

So eve takes the snake out for a walk on her new snake leash "rofl"

Eve: so hows your day going talking snake
Snake: well i got summit to kinda show you
Eve: wow reallly?
Snake: yeep
Eve: wat is it?
Snake: Tree of brains!!
Eve: tree of what? i mean i thought i had brains?
Snake: im a talking snake.. keep up eve hunny
Eve: ok show me..

yep the snake talks and eve is clueless.

Snake: Ok eve i must warn you if you eat from this tree you will always be in pain and stuff when you have kids and what not but you will know EVERYTHING in life

Eve: erm you sure because like i am hungry but.. that pain deal dont sound to good, besides whats a kid? "because she is clueless"...

Snake: just eat the thing please...

So she does.. now im not going to do the bloody bible here so we are going to fast forward 2000 years!!

setting 2 stoned blokes relaxing on the playstation having a ponder and a beer


Dave: Mike
Mike: yes dave
Dave: you ever wonder how the hell we got here?
Mike: well not really like
Dave: so nothing intrests you?
Mike: well i like aliens n stuff but cant prove it, but i think they are real..
Dave: but who made the aliens then?
Mike: dunno mate
Dave: you think god made them? i mean the aliens?
Mike: not sure but like there must be life other than use so i guess he did
Dave: oh ok nice, so what about god then?
Mike: im clueless
Dave: but you said you fink aliens are real
Mike: yeah because like being alone is amazing!!
Dave: so you NEVER thought being here was amazing?
Mike: what you mean dave?
Dave: well like you know BEING here?? us to just arsin aboout on the ps2 is normal?
Mike: mm i never thought about it like that..
Dave: just seems odd that like we are here and think its normal.
Mike: yeah.. pass me a beer.


lets fast forward a few thousand years

Alien: Hello people from earth!!
Mankind: HOLY WTF!!
Alien: hey why are you so shocked?
Mankind: YOUR LIKE ALIENS!! FROM LIKE OTHER PLANETS AND STUFF!!!
Alien: yeah and snakes talk what is your point
Mankind: But thats NORMAL!!! aliens are like waaaay to mind blowing!!!
Alien: ok you kidding me right?
Mankind: HEll no!!! this is so mind blowing, if god made us who the efff made you!!
Alien: God did silly
Mankind: Really?
Alien: Yep sure did
Mankind: so what relation to me are you then???
Alien: Im your brother!!
Mankind: Brother? oh ok so er how come god never told us lot about you then?
Alien: well im a bastard son kinda thing and he didnt want to worry you guys
Mankind: not very farther like is it?
Alien: well he had his reasons i guess but hey we are here to help you guys out
Mankind: with what?
Alien: oh you know like moving planets and getting to grips with being here
Mankind: But we are waiting for god? he said if we do as we are told he will come back and take us to a better place
Alien: Ohhh that old story lol, we fell for that too untill we found out god is a lier
Mankind: What!! dont talk about god like that he knows EVERYTHING!!!
Alien: Yep he does and hes a pain!!


Now at this point you should get the jist or logic of why im doing this sketch..

The point is if you look at all the topics on ats and every question you ask regardless if you have god or not.

Something IS missing.

THE TRUTH

Part 2 Money!

Setting " market "

Man: Heyy yooo heyy yoo get ya chickens here!!!
Man2: Im bloody starvin!! can i have a chicken
Man: Wat you got to trade
Man2: gold
Man: Gold????? wats that?
Man2: its some shiny stuff you can get all kinds with it!!
Man: oh erm really?
Man2: yep its like AMAZING and its shiny
Man: but its metal?
Man2: I knowww its amazng aint it!!
Man: yeah but i cant eat metal can i?
Man2: No but if i give you this metal for your chicken you can get a cow!!
Man: holy crap!!! really!???
Man: Yup
Man2: Sold


Scammed

Part 3

idiot proof

Man: Huh HUh
Man2: wat?
Man: i dont know i just felt like talking like a grunt
Man2: Oh ok so erm wat we doing? or your point
Man: I found something "gold"
Man2: Wow give me it
Man: Nope its worth something
Man2: I WANT IT it looks nice
Man: Give me a chicken
Man2: OK..

lesson one GREED

ROTFLMAO. oh thats great, second best laugh i've had in a long time.

my fav part was the alien telling the guy he was his brother.

Alien: Hello people from earth!!
Mankind: HOLY WTF!!
Alien: hey why are you so shocked?
Mankind: YOUR LIKE ALIENS!! FROM LIKE OTHER PLANETS AND STUFF!!!
Alien: yeah and snakes talk what is your point

reply to post by LocoHombre


why thank you sir

/me takes a bow

reply to post by 13579


Well done i actually grinned
I needed that ^^
Thanks 13579!
S&F for you!

Very nice - S&F. It have something to do with Monty Pythons but more with Mark Twains Letters from the Earth. He is not dealing with aliens but Adam/Eve/snake theme is very similar.

EDIT: BS syntax ...

[edit on 6-12-2009 by zeddissad]

reply to post by 13579



you could totally be a sketch writer for mad tv.

seriously its great.

you are now my fav sketch writer.