Toilet tissue kills

Well you can always do what our ancestors did and use leaves.
I hear that poison ivy works the best.

Of course you can also just make like a dog on a new carpet.

Oh man, the entertainment potential for this thread is going to be endless…

reply to post by defcon5


Can you really trust the trees making those leaves and the carpet industry?

How do you know there are no carcinogenic substances in leaves and carpets?

reply to post by Seiko


Seiko is right. If you are going to go down that road. You have to consider the chemicals that are in the water. The anus may absorb these much faster if they are liquid. Also, what if you have to go, and you are not home? Some times when you have to go, you have to go. There are no showers readily available in public places. I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe, all of the chemicals that are being pumped into our bodies will all just cancel out by themselves.

Personally, I have no problem with using "wet wipes" of the softest kind. You can even carry them around if you have to.

simple answer is to not use tolilet paper. Buy a hose pipe cut it to length connect it the hotwater tap turn on and let warm water run down your backside get your hand down there give it a good clean wash hands afterwards. Hey presto a clean bum without smears and without buying toilet paper.......

[edit on 21-11-2009 by loner007]

reply to post by souls


There's really no escape.

I say we all stop washing, drinking, eating, breathing, and wiping our butts.

Take that, NWO!

Long live the resistance!

reply to post by ziggy1706


TPTB is worst carcinogen ever discovered. Its hidden every were (even toilet paper) and growing exponentially. Silent killer which is banned from MSM reporting. Be aware and if you find some dispose it with surgical glow in to toilet! That the right place for TPTB.

No man, just kidding. TPTB The Power That Be. On this site by this usually mean global financial elite, puppet masters behind, government and so on.

This will be funny thread. S&F to OP.

Edit to add:
What if is ToPa chiped? RFID in every leaf!

[edit on 21-11-2009 by zeddissad]

reply to post by Wallachian


You caught me, that is what chemtrails are really about. They are spraying them so that you cannot foil the NWO plot to poison you through your toilet paper by using leaves instead. They have diabolically ensured that the same chemicals are now covering all the leaves as well via chemtrail spraying.

Ops, I said chemtrails, OZ and Chad should be here any second like the Spanish Inquisition:




[edit on 11/21/2009 by defcon5]

I always thought it was the Newspapers that had the poisonous chemicals on them.

It was easy to quit reading the paper because I can read it on the internet, but I'm not sure how I can quit using TP unless I get one of those fancy toilets that wash & dry.

Still I think the toilet paper is less dangerous because you only hold it for a moment & throw t away, while a newspaper you would sometimes hold for over an hour with sweaty hands while eating breakfast.



[edit on 21-11-2009 by verylowfrequency]

reply to post by verylowfrequency


Eh… But lest you not forget that your computer also emits poisonous chemicals, all plastics leach them out. Then lets not even think about the EMF and radiation that they emit through the CRT, LCD, WIFI, ETC… MAHAHAHAHAHA! They have you no matter what.

Maybe the Arabs figured it out ages ago and that is why they use the the hose to rinse the rusty bullet hole. But that begs another question... What is the effect of fluoride injected into you via high pressure hose?

They way the feds keep printing the money maybe we should just use $100 dollar bills

Perhaps 'they' could just leave you alone and let you worry yourselves to death.

Sheeesh.



[edit on 21-11-2009 by Adamus]

okay, this is just silly
what you are saying: don't brush teeth, don't whipe ass, don't wash clothes, don't shower

at work some people never do, and they disgust me tbh

silliest article ever!

I'm an infidel. I use paper instead of my hand or a rock. Or even rocks wrapped in toilet paper. Rocks and hands are better for the environment but gives you a bad disposition I hear

i have lost three family members to unknown toxins immediately after they took a giant dump. They even asked for more toilet paper while on the pot.

It started one night when we all visited the chinese buffet, and everyone had at least 22 plates of food. We stopped at WalMart and bought a gallon a Exlax for the group for a decent purging before out next daily trip to the buffet.

(We eat once a day because that is all we can afford)

After taking a crap, all these people experienced swelling of the ass, unrelenting farts, itching near the a-hole and bleeding.

They all died within 30 minutes. It was terrible. We think it was all laced to toxic toilet paper. Yup....do your research on TTP. Just google it.

I think the disease is called analcephalectomy. And I think the author may be a prime candidate of this disease if he is not careful.

Good luck. And remember just to wipe your ass with your hand. Simple, free and the cleanest method. Just make sure you wash your hands.

reply to post by RestingInPieces


Is this a serious thread or is it supposed to be a joke?

Dominating the population by means of them wiping their arses...?

It's one of the funniest things I've read - you must have a lot of time on your hands to have thought that one up!

Bloody hell, I thought I was bad!





[edit on 21-11-2009 by Stanton Dowd]

did you ever hear of W A T E R
toilet paper is the filthiest way to clean your self or anything else
and such a waste of money

I always laugh when I see people loading their shopping carts with crap ...

reply to post by Adamus


I think you're on to something here.

TPTB don't really have to carry out any evil plans to destroy the world. All they have to do is drop the occasional hint of a new conspiracy theory on a messageboard or radio talk show and let the paranoia do the rest...

reply to post by RestingInPieces


I've been getting a lot of ass-burn lately. I thought it was because of all of the Taco Bell that I was eating, but it very well may be the toilet tissue causing this...If so, this is an outrage! Damn NWO will stop at nothing...NOTHING!

My crap hole is very important to me...and the only way I can test it for cancer (cheaply) is to have my girlfriend do a finger inspection for lumps...but new government studies tell me that I don't have to do this until I'm 50 years of age, and by then it may be too late! I'll be damned if I'm going to succumb to butt hole cancer.

If toilet tissue is contaminated, this will be very bad, because I also use toilet tissue to wipe the snot from my nose. I use clean, unused toilet tissue for this, or else my face would smell like crap.

Starred and flagged, Scottie!

(Just kidding, of course)

Originally posted by RestingInPieces

Would this be the perfect way to infect us?

If you are a true believer that the government/NWO is trying to infect us, why on earth are you still using toilet paper?

By the way, many third world and some developing countries don't use toilet paper that much. Go to some parts of east asia, india and africa and see for yourself.