Connection to conspiracies possible NWO link

Someone drove by my house just now and said "that isnt funny I know people who died in 911. Earlier today I was saying to my dad when he got home "whatever imaginary untrue things people will break into the house kill you me mom and others, its ridiculuos the redhead wont walk 4 feet to unplug her gun and all day everyday mess with me in my room, if I couldve gotten out of state years ago, they didnt almost die come back and try to appreciate life" they were saying "he doesnt think he has to leave" I was thinking before I give an inch to these pretencious spoiled little children that have everything handed to them I will fight and die and do whatever I have to do to survive whatever . I hate this s*** 10 year nightmare for living in my house of nerves and panic attacks and freaking out. Maybe they should write their songs different or you know ...what. If any of this isnt imaginary they are songs. Men In Black dont jump to acknowledge me found its way all over tv crashed this site and caused problems maybe ripples here there maybe if your always looking almost 2 years now asking for help of any kind if this couldve reached anyone . I was thinking today I spent life after high school in my room going to program I didnt do that much, I dont want to die I wish this would stop and things go back to normal. Also the symbols were all set into motion quiet stubbling shy loner vs the establishment in high school their society crossed taboos laughing at self it was always me vs them 3 years graduation train accident , keep reliving death bed montage, I wish I couldve stayed longer. Thinking dont know whats going on havent been paying attention some of the plastic "cool" people in musicians might have been making fun of you and then 5 years later. My head is a mess falling down or lethagic at times sick tired, I wish I couldve lived a normal life . It was just an illusion anyway whatever may or may not have been going on out of it shouldve kept check of behavior how you move in public what you say or do, just breaking down. Like in T2 when the 800 gets hit in the head with 1000 slamming the bar in his head over and over , lucky you might have put CPU chip in head that doesnt exist .

They said to me "Its not always about you" and I thought of course how can I make you life any easier "sorry I cant take it like a Bee Ich better for you destroy my life and future why dont I die because you dont want to listen to songs you choose to" what do you want me to do. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. I dont want to think about impossible theories tin foil hat time. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW. my part time job or hobbie or curse as batman leads me to believe that over 3 years sometimes in other places where you dont turn your tricks about what might be going on.

[edit on 7-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry just couldnt deal with pressures of neighbors going into 4 years now. Lots of disgusting things around me while I was asleep in the past. Found out maybe didnt fall off train when younger after coming here and a lot of maybe imaginary things. Was frustrated tired shouldnt have to deal with this.

[edit on 10-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry for everything I may have done , spiraling out of control or going really fast not thinking clearly or being a pain. I have had hyperventilating cant go outside being around people, I am sorry if I seem arrogant at times, just trying to come up for air and breathe. I felt it maybe necessary to destroy my identity if people thing I am an elistist or something, and just trying to put some space between this and get back to my normal life . My family are sort of normal and I dont know if this in any way affected them , but it feels like everyone around me might know pieces. When I was younger attacked maybe near death experience that may have been covered up and thinking I was a minor and I shouldve known . Or psychological problems I couldnt deal with reading to much into things and thinking there might be a line of consistency a lot that is textbook mental illness. My neighbors really were playing games with me and I couldnt really get out of it, and suspicions or things I may have overheard here where I live , just crashing all over the place. This is a great website , and I am sorry if I besmurched it with my presence, what some of these people can do who work here and others it really blows your mind. This is a great site and hopefully in the future can just browse through it , but I will not keep this tag alive bumbling and crashing. I had like 3000 or so words I edited out in the last post and things in the past I edited if I fall asleep ghostwriting if I was going to call the cops and try to piece together clues or traces my neighbors may have left that would at least sound sane. Just a lot of disgusting things happened in the past around while I was not concious and saying wish I couldve lived a normal life without crazy politics and sorry if sometimes it looked like I was giving the finger or cursing at the establishment , and saying you know whatever may or may not be going on freemasons or whoever my real life has been in shambles for a really long time and because I may have spoke up trying to slow things couldve ruined future. I am sorry if in the past I have just been frustrated angry or misguided, just trying to keep up sometimes with everything always spinning. This site really is amazing to study this site in the future and try to make myself more educated in other things would really be a great accomplishment . I am sorry for a long strung out of me bothering people on this site and towards the end couldnt even keep up all over the place. Thank you for allowing me to say my peace or vent towards things.

OK, I had time to reflect and think about things more clearly. I was just frustrated that I was a target of a witchunt by my neighbors cause whatever the musicians on MTV or some of the maybe modern day freemasons. I tried to appeal in 05 cause by that time I already got 2 1/2 years and I was innocent the whole time. When I get here told by doctors and police I got hit by a train or fell, and there are all these gay rumors when I got here cause of maybe 13 things were blurred. Whatever happened with my neighbor s or high school maybe getting money and trying to rob me in the hospital, to people I am always going to remember the complete names and maybe tracking info. Come here and people already know my face or recognize me cause this was going on almost a decade oblivious to me . Why dont I sacrifice my whole life and future cause the freemasons need material to write songs. Supposed to be just a normal life from outlook I guess whatever may or may not going on. Massive head injury , got left behind and both my parents think I am gay then after high school get involved with state, docs, police, psychiatrists and therapists and they messed around with the truth lied to me gave me serious tranquilers aqnd I was sorta fightin every step of the way because if they want to talk in riddles about something I saw and heard and wasnt a hallucination , where is your proof I am mentally ill, my "symptoms" how I verbally describe what I cant understand, well it certainly is possible maybe mess with some transmissions if under surveilance. I was just a rebellious youth caught up in the system every one lies to me and a copycat I wasnt guilty of might have wound up on mtv. I asked questions tried to appeal they shouldnt of been using me without pay and causing problems in my life. Looking back now it was nowhere before 05 I looked everywhere just ideas or concepts. Trying to comprehend what they might have been doing and not really paying a large amount of time since 05 looking for things I was trying to run away. Right after high school they picked me up needles once a month by end of year so I am "allowed" outside then after 05 became a hermit stopped dealing with people or living a normal life stayed inside avoided things. Then since April 07 I think the fourth or sixth my neighbors have been doing a "fair police" force me out of neighborhood cause they dont like watching MTV. I dont know how I was supposed to act with out info just instincts, but with my neighbors carrying on hazing and thinking what I could do in future if everybody knows my secret identity or avatar as prisoner of war sounding like a crackpot publicly talking about conspiracy theories. I dont know just frustrated with the system , and baggage problems or whatever self destruction or scene I caused figure maybe move to Vegas live like a king or at least have a chance with my medical history and people relations it was probably never going to happen anyway. I am sorry I havent been responsible in the past or my neighbors get me so worked up I just blurt out anything. I just wanted to attach this to my other floatey repetitve posts or some threads and retire the screename.

I am sorry I keep posting this helps me vent, my neighbors are still carrying on and its really ridiculous, saying your gay or a girl, this is what my original revolution was about vs however society the establish ment the cool people who act and speak a certain way, I was self mutilating my identity or however they saw me in a hilarious psychotic way that caused a decade of problems cause hey maybe I look like I wanna kill you. I dont have a problem with god I havent practiced organized religion since I was in elemantary school I dont think I am the 2nd one or any of the ones just taken advantage of a bunch of people older and wiser than me who knew more about things I dont know maybe freemasons. I dont want to have to put up with a bunch of retarted children who wanna pretend they are the fair club or life is fair or watching mtv is the only thing that matters. I wrote a thread when I first got here about how you shouldnt call people who have disabilities insulting names. Its high school with breakfast club lord of the flies, 3 years so thats fair, they said what do you think this is a joke and no you have to leave, I was thinking what is this B itchs retarted give me back my 15 dollars , get off my property when youre done playing psychic friends network , you dont make the laws have no authority are not going to win I dont have to listen to you and I dont care if you dont like cds lifes misery dont buy them and choose to listen to them get out of my house already. I listened to the Eminem cd why dont we make a bunch of out rageous lies cover them up cause we are clever and inndoendo and do it all over the place in the last 5 years, no why of course you dont have to pay me why would you, where did you get the inspiration from on those songs. Eminem can put out a whole extremely bordering obscene but they dont want me to have any rights freedom of speech, well there is a war going on you should be more sensitive, I am 26 now music is an art form and an incredible thing that can speak to your body and soul but I am 26. For the most part its just music ideas concepts for everyone I dont care enough for 3 years house arrest go out of your mind, . Heard 95 or 96 a song by rob zombie said really quietly try to survive in the hurricane, how long we gonna do this?

[edit on 20-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

I just wanted to say I have sorta been sending messages into space not talking to people and just had to put info or a statement out there. A lot of people all around me seemed really offended of different ages and groups I dont know how they might now how I look like what I wrote under a different alias or if I gave out too much information. I was just strung out of my mind with neighbors , thought I was gonna die and other things if I seemed worked up or emotion sometimes when I write. I really am gonna stop posting connections to a possible conspiracy cause beat it into ground and I cant precieve the almost infinite different viewpoints anyone reading might have and it was nice not being connected to big crash scene. Just had problems in the past with this tryed to get help and that only alerted others to take up the cause or do their own investigation. If eminem or other rappers want to come after me and make me a laughingstock while makin money off of this you know great, I didnt want to do this at no time was I legitimately told what was going on and hopefully if this passes maybe move and dissappear. A lot of times felt like my life was in danger and sometimes just get frustrated at whatever may or may not be going on. I didnt mean to offend anyone when I said I wasnt right onto the music scene or being 26 sorta grew out of it and tryin to run away cause I thought maybe certain people were laughin at me or assumed I was a columbine copycat. It also sems like a lot of my life I was just causing problems for important people around me spiraling out without direction or oblivious. I have a bad habit of always reading too much into commercials or tv shows or magazines or movies but I guess if anyone reads this or it might help someone I heard the tv say one day "yeah now that I think about life seems pretty meaningless or empty (not sure) without (dont remember how they fraised it) love/significant other/partner or whatever". I dont know or not sure if sometimes it is communicating with me I guess that is open to interpretation.

P.S. if thats even possible say civilians or the freemasons are watching a life for awhile, I heard the freemasons were the most skilled person or supervisor on the project who knew info the workers didnt on assembly or architecture today maybe some of the people who have money or power or pull in some direction I dont know. So some of their jewels of information might go a long way or be really profound. And I wanted to apologize to the owner and people who work on this site for sometimes maybe being disgusting or ranting to long I am sorry and thank you.

[edit on 21-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 21-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

You know however may find this, my neighbors took meds gonna go to sleep hear "Youre Gay" and I am just so very tired of their game. Its been like 3 years and 2 here and a lot of normal people almost everywhere I go hear things strange or whispers , some cops may have been talking in inndoendo, they may have been joking around about it on TV, and their spy guns might cause backlash feedback with live feeds how it is fed and cell towers or FIOS network , I think they went digital or manuel or analog because of this problem. Cant the men in black just make this go away, I cant call the cops cause of credibility they try to go around my parents make it look believable insanity claim. There is sorta really big problems for awhile everywhere I go and in my house for living in my house and about 12 years of problems cause of this. Sorta problems where I live left obliviuos cause everyone told me nothing happened and just strung out and tired in my house cause their gun hurts my veins. You need a phone jack to go on the internet and I was gonna get thrown out of my house if I called the cops, so isnt this a little like calling the cops or FBI . I thought some feds may subscibe here cause some of this stuff really blows your mind.

Sorry this is it this time seriously. Just saying young kids need structure and a foundation like architecture or building something. I hit my head when I was 3 on a pointy side of a brick so ADD I think I also used to be quiet. My parents were seperated and I lived with my mom I was young and she was brought up in a Catholic family so I dont think we talked about women. Trying to comprehend I might be part of something larger than myself after playing video games and watching cartoons in my room. My neighbors call me evil or gay almost everyday I dont really know why sometimes frustrated or worn down mkaybe psychological abuse. Sometimes I wish I never came here make a fool out of myself in front of everybody I ever knew possibly, fightin the system or couldnt cope with neighbors everyday. In the first hospital I was ever in this kid told me about "dualism" 2 north and south wings. I didnt know if I was supposed to play or chosen as evil counterpart or what to think, but I thought about good & evil right & wrong. I had 3 big bleeds had to get better after amnesia and start over this isnt a normal thing that happens to 13 year olds and sometimes I wish in the past I didnt jump to conclusions about how real people in real life had to deal with it. There is this lyric from P.ushO.nD.eath (I think thats what it stood for) "run with the pack or get left behind" I dont know if sorta wandering aimlessly at times or like an alien or foreign 3rd Rock from the sun where the simplest things would blow them away. Sometimes I was just writing in my head really quick and forget people might actually read this. I saw this fitness infomercial the other day for a plan called GetInSanity and my dad said I should get that joking around. I am sorry if I didnt realize the emphasis my words might have had or how they could be interpreted from my original thought writing it. For awhile I thought of graduation everyday, thought of all the analogies omish no muslim (for traditional values or behavior) no asian no french no english no young boy no young girl no red hair , or any combination. I wont think of anything else to add and I wont post again I had personal problems and felt there was this bad vibe or something everywhere I go so I didnt read any other threads for probably over a month.

When I first got here I might have talked nievely or childlike about maybe post traumatic stress disorder PTSD or mental problems. (mentioning nam) I was freaked out trying to piece things together listening to Bionic Jive rap "a government conspiracy to murder me , I shot lucifer" nowadays listening to the radio "spit on my casket I am going to another world , opinion changes people, dont be surprised when they show up at your house" I used to think that the cripts or bloods would come after me or some gang related thing or something would eventually happen , I was always looking over my shoulder carrying things that could be used as weapons and thinking I might die. If people say enough is enough if the mainstream gets swamped enough. With my neighbors we havent really ever had a conversation face to face but I would tell them I got framed already taken to court in connection to that , I have just been living in my house trying to live a normal life... I dont write the music.

[edit on 22-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

I was talking about columbine today to someone, they said would all the jocks please stand up then opened fire, asked this girl if she believed in god opened fire and this kid who was african american I heard opened fire. Other people were saying it was all bullying it wasnt Marilyn Manson or video games. Just I guess thing s came full circle with me go back to the begining, 3 4 years of this. Trying to look for maybe covert or something out of the ordinary in a seemingly normal life. I am sorry if I didnt know what to think when I heard an old friends mom say 5 cops died saw 5 cars headlights go by outside window then they might have tried to hurt me with bleach. And they were in C-pep with me I put the puzzle pieces together they might have been there if they went to my house. Sorry for maybe jumping to conclusions or trying to think of what my parents went through whe n this happened. 3 years 3 long years ,I had better more important things to do then in the begining crawling on the ground blinded and deaf almost having a nervous breakdown if I had uncontrollable telepathy 3 or 4 hours outside too long. I will not fall I will not falter I will walk the line and overcome I didnt come this far didnt walk tight rope with mental illness cause you gotta watch what you say. Makes me think of that song "We Will Rise" by Arch Enemy "we will rise we will rise, look at you you all look the same to me conformity , I can be anything I want , we will rise". I also thought of Beast Wars and Beast Machines together 5 seasons of beautiful computer animation. In season 4 begining 1 st episode, they cant change out of beast form to survive they are dying after going down this long chute Optimus says enough it cant end like this throws a brick into the darkness and the darkness shatters leaving a path to the oracle and matrix to save them behind it (seriously). If that scene reminds me of what it felt like coming here sometimes. Sorry 68 posts this can be addicting but I really am gonna stop. I am trying to just get back to my normal life and not cause problems for anyone I think I covered everything.

[edit on 23-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

Just I was talking today and said "I didnt want to seem completely ignorant to something I knew nothing about". I just thought if I attached it here it might help. People around me at stores and at the weekly mental health program I go to might have heard of this and a lot of people I dont know all around me. I was talking about this very site to my dad , but I was also thinking the other day that I know if something is wrong or considered too far. My neighbors have been teasing me endlessly I caused this big scene in front of a lot of people and it just seems like my life is in shambles or at least last 3 years and before that trying to get by with head and strong meds made a mess of things. A lot of what I wrote was quick emotional at times or me just being idiotic or a dumb@$%. There are things it is too late to edit. I am sorry if anyone keeps seeing this pop up and is annoyed trying to stop just keep thinking of things to add. I am sorry if my presence or at times behavior stained this site , I was just reading some other threads and remembered how great this site is and how much I used to like it , I have just been trying to cope with some things havent been thinking clearly at times.

I was just trying to edit some things , but I think I missed the 18 to 24 hour time frame . Their have been some local people on this site people I knew and people I used to see around. I havent really been a person or able to get things back to normal since considering my thought s are telepathic uncontrollablely and writing scripts with terets in my head. Its arguable I guess if my neighbors are reacting in their own house s at times to my thoughts, but I have had a lot of time to test this theory. Maybe in 6 to 9 months I will post another thread with video if I can get a hold of a spy gun that can hear whispers at 50 to 100 feet. If you saw me you might get a better impression of what I have been dealing with , I guess I look out of college dress like a delinquint or a criminal or a drug addict I got a mustache and goatee and cant grow the 3 pronged usual beard. Things are messed up in my town I have been waiting for them to pass forever , but I will watch my back and I am not to worried I will keep distance. I wanted to edit the word "teasing" and thinking of replacing it with "religiously or sexually persecuted". Into the depths of the mind crawling on the ground being prodded is where I have been sorry if sometimes I might have been trying to get a message through and didnt arrange my words so well. I can see it nowadays in music after 05 and things I didnt see before getting back into things . I always look no matter what and can be led astray sometimes. I am guessing maybe product placement by the truman show maybe wiretaps and a bunch of crazy politics with people I knew in real life, maybe nothing more. Getting back to my conspiracies inconjunction with a possible New World Order or Illuminati or Freemasons link. I read Behold a Pale Horse and some of that stuff tries to tip toe around and say this could prove to not be all factual or a look at the way other things and people on the inside might have been swaying it in pop culture. Said you have to pay for our mistakes, a life denied normalcy too much craziness politics on all generations or things they can be offended by or not like. I dont believe that some of those documents from 1700s or 1800s are real and other things that can not be found are open to interpretation. I do believe about the good in all people and the ability to show compassion of what can be considered a storm of a number of serious implications or politics that are really heavy and unavoidable. In a way I didnt want to be imprisoned with my statements forever , but I do not know how many that will reach and it could just be anxiety and nerves through the roof fearing for my life or having to deal with the local rebellion at times. I am usually very respectful and can write and communicate normally I was just a fraction of myself trying to deal with insurmountable odds and I wish I could edit but I apologized and tryed to explain what I meant at times. I thank the people who work here who let me rant without security showing up and anyone who read my threads and posts cause I was thinking for years I should write a book about some of these ideas and that was never going to happen, I may have been messed up at times but it felt like it wasnt just me I got feedback before the rants started and help bouncing around ideas . Thanks for everything and I wont continue ranting anymore.