Connection to conspiracies possible NWO link

I dont know just wanted to apologize for rambing and sometimes being tired or impulsive posting. I dont know sorry for dwelling in things I now everyones got probloems and I might have caused problems for some people. I dont know almost died over a joke then set up they came after me no crime was committed. It seems like a really long time sometimes. I dont know just try to walk away from everything and everyone and just dissappear. Try to reflect and remember the good in all people and deal with whatever mess I may be connected to, and calm down nerves for awhile. I dont know if things had to happen the way they did or couldve been changed. I dont know just try to be a person again with a normal life and family. I dont know my neighbors are just sort of annoying anymore. Just trying to talk my way out of things if I messed up in the past. Head messed up or grasp on reality, I dont know I am sorry. For about 2 years now everytime practicully I leave the house I will see ambulances or cops or numbers of both with sirens going on and 3 people I think already might have tried to give me AIDS in the hospital, do you think they are trying to tell you something? Like a feeling or a scene with Heath Ledger in the back of a police car hangin out the window looking around, lookin crazy with all deshelved hair. I dont know I am sorry if things fell apart at the end or if anything was going on or if I caused anyone any problems.

P.S. I thought of something and wasnt going to post again I didnt want to around holidays, it was sort of a strung out consideration when I was trying to decyrpt all possibilities of what it meant. I was asking for help and I dont know if this maybe reached police somehow and past was altured. Its never going to work out with women horrible history every little thing that could go wrong does even impossible micochips in my head and people attack me listening in on my thoughts, or some trick they would want me to belive to get busted I am not going to get busted. I dont have patience anymore from curse or strokes when I was 13 that were covered up just sort of say F it wasnt going to happen anyway? There is about 300 million people in america right now. I saw a picture today , and I wasnt sure its been awhile I edited this it wasnt him this happened 4 or 5 times already, I was pissed at them for life already detoured 4 years of high school cause of traumatic brain injury , people made fun of me I had enemies and last 2 years didnt associate with anyone here. They held me accountable put in an authoritian system where youre not allowed to talk about the truth and I get send to court, and forced to do things under threat of institutionalization. I wanted to go to college get a car a job maybe a girlfriend one day. Instead for some reason MTV starts making fun of me Incubus warning 10:24 blonde girl, Nelly Hot in Herre, New Found Glory video 2 people in trench coats and a guy swinging off a balcony in underwear, heard Tech nine cd or Bionic Jive herpes faced MFer dont talk when adults are talkin, sorry if in the begining I might have caused problems for if they might have included me in any way but they should of been makin fun of me like Waterboy and Adam Sandler. And 2 1/2 years turns out to getting thrown out of college cause my parents are relentless about take your tranquilers to be healthy then worked with my dad took off some months collecting disability , when I went in for 3 months to psych and partial at end of 2006 my neighbors showed up when I got out and think after all this I am gonna bow down to them still persist. My neighbors probably knew nothing threw there fit thought I meant to scare people decided to relocate me or assumed they had authority and for some reason refuse to leave me alone. I havent really watched MTV in 5 years but looks pretty much no trace if I look now just music concepts or ideas for everyone. This is New York I get on a train and an hour people probably die everyday, I dont know about drug scene or gangs here personally but you listen to rap? I thought they would just go away or it might have been on channel 12 news I didnt ever think this would happen. I dont know speculating but just a little messed up. Heard life is a journey and you missed out , heard when I was playin GTA IV on radio and just a lot of things wasted and sometimes it frustrates me or think about know the problems to people around me people I used to know or kids I dont know with a TOOL hat on , or where can I go from here horrible disaster of a past. I just wanted to say something I said to my mom in the mall today, "dont follow me I dont know where I am going". If anything I said in past might have offended people or worded wrong, I dont know just usually talking to myself here trying to use this as an outlet in the begining or sometimes to try to find out whats going on I dont know I am sorry. Dsyfunctional family I was brought to court under the state or in different psych wards use to have a drug problem that wasnt really a problem and just struggling at times , I know I probably should have been more responsible and / or professional or clear headed, I dont know I am sorry.

I should of stopped posting awhile ago I am sorry just speculation here or there or things I might have considered from stange sources, I dont know I am sorry if I offended anyone, I have sort of went with the flow and sort of tired cause my neighbors harass me and wasnt really thinking clearly wasnt able to get out of situation, sorry.
[edit on 12-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

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Sorry I deleted that I saw my grandmother after I went to her funeral and I guess THEY have the power to do that. I talked to her for hours she is like 90 they couldnt of gotten a doppelganger look alike. For 10 years I was forced powerful meds sort of been out of mind since neighbors play haunted house or a little distracted. For 10 years almost I went all over the place bouncing off the walls and hyperventilating cause of what I assumed might be going on and very nieve chidish sort of left behind head messed up when this started. I havent been able to work out get in shape , get in a good sleeping shedule , get into a routine and have been going in circles for almost 3 years cause of the neighbors, today they were calling me a little girl and a fag and I said you are retarted I got set up over 2 years for gettin set up lost a 2 hour ceremony , why do you expect me to leave respect the overlords who watch too much MTV say I gotta leave house where I live or whatever you are retarted. Everything always goes wrong with women like every possible thing I dont know head messed up maybe missing common sense or stucture from kids in grade or class growing if quiet or missing pieces and start over. Then amnesia start over, watching my life go by while trying to get better and stupid reunion with the juniors and sopomores flanking me, why the F does this have to happen to me or chaos. I dont know exist somewhere were anything goes and anyone can do or say anything they want. I dont know I tryied to not post so more if I have to walk a line and try not to be disrespectful towards other peoples art or the system if I might be offending anyone or beuatiful concepts or ideas if it look like I corrupted anything. Gettin out of a 8 year psychosis cause I didnt have a girlfriend in high school, is mtv sending me subliminals did something happen, everyone is lying to me talk yourself through it, try to move try to get help try to go into exile neighbors playing games cause they think you are a baby or retarted and trying to take advantage of you various different fronts or whatever , told me what was going on at end. These people were at a graduation ceremony someone said a false gun threat that they planted they called the cops and no one would tell me what was going on. I had to go back and forth with stuff like 15 years I am sterile now and disgusting things might have happened to me when I was sleeping just around me not really touching me. Sometimes having to deal with the neighbors is frustrating and pisses me off I know I should watch my words about whatever may or may not be going on with freemasons or musicians and there art cause it is important to a lot of people and usually a beautiful work of art. I dont know such a disaster of a past just stay in my house and try to dissappear there is some stupid problem going on with a lot of people anyway. Not even a month went by after I got out of high school and I was in psych I have been doing things back and forth since 2002 arguing with parents trying to get out of this, nothing happened and it wasnt the stroke victums fault.

[edit on 13-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry almost everyone around me has sort of been critzing me for years and before that in hostpitals and in high school. I am not mentally ill and already had to go to court forced meds I dont need that make me sick sort of have to worry about mental health for 8 years and that was a misunderstanding. When I found out what really happened at a hospital when I was younger , the backlash I got here and from everyone around me and stange music I used to listen to I didnt know what to think , a 2000 year old phophecy and I had a scar on my hand , I dont know I am sorry for whatever strung out tired speculation . My neighbors have really been harrassing me and I am never going to see or talk to them face to face again I dont know what there problem is , if they think I am special every day just brutal high school mentality I am just tired of it. I shouldnt of come here like having some sort of breakdown here I am sorry.

I dont know it says in Behold a pale hores that all the information may not be true and I might have read too much into things or seeing patterns where they werent, I dont know I am sorry I should ve tried to explain myself better and I wont keep posting and bothering people.

[edit on 14-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

Today I was pretending to be asleep and the neighbors wore joking around about this girl breaking into the house and raping me with a strap on . Since know one has done anything wrong I guess no one has to do anything about it. Mabus, Formlessness1999, Wylekat , CleverNameHere and idiot / genius are all in on it and 5 makes legal term of conspiracy. My parents dont believe me cause they are acting covertly, and I started screaming at my parent at 5 in the morning. Can you pass maybe my stuff and there threads to the cops or FBI or anyone who can investigate the sign on address.

If any of you caught that the first time around at 5, I freaked out and use my deduction and reasoning skills hacking decription of various bits and pieces that might fit into a pattern and it was false, it was a muse a clever attempt to trick.
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Last night, I was screaming at my parents, my neighbors said I had already been raped and they had it on tape and this guy joked around about raping me in the hospitals. I know we dont think they did anything wrong and we like talking to them in code, but I came to this site cause they were bothering me and people tried to kill me. I barracaded myself in my room and they are lying whatever sounds they thought they heard were covered up or changed and read misqoutes about lies of make believe and causing problems for the mics. Five cops cut my penis off and got off for it and whatever retart game they want to play forever where I am a slave and have no rights and sterile now and anyone can do anything they want. Broken down and paralyzed and maybe I am the bad one , thank you MTV. I am sorry I keep coming back I am trying to stop, its just there nonsense sometimes they think they can do anything they want and I have to leave my house and family cause they are "tired of me". You know my real life being a stroke victum has been alone trying to get better my head messed up being completely alienated by society and people and being ridiculed, I dont know what there problem in everybodys real life that they have with me I tried to get out of it.

[edit on 16-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

OHHHHhhhh its kinda late and I just wanted to attach this to my series of disasters in case any one finds it. My neighbors are driving me crazy, I came here after 14 months of them playing their nonsense "punked" game you gotta move cause you gotta stay in the lines with psych docs and we are gonna screw you up. Some of my past conspiracies might have considered some things with an old phophecy and it was 4 languages ago, I think he was in exile later killed cause of his beliefs, and time and generations went by, Nostradamus 's phophecies were vague too and trying to look around or maybe connect some things or see patterns that dont exist. I dont know I am sorry. For awhile in my past I went through some time where I thought I was the Nexus of a 90 ft circle of telepathic radiation cause I spend a lot of down time in my house with my neighbors up to tricks and I didnt learn what a "brain pacemaker " was till 20 months into it if it is a possibility. I was going through a lot of things and might have shown up here a couple of times frailing out of control or annoyed. I sorta hated the cards I was dealt in my real life kinda depressing things went awhile and in circles , and whatever parallels that might have been in pop culture or via "skynet" "the machines" or whatever games they might be playing on my tv and everyone else's making fun of me or hiding things or laughing at me in possible code or things I look too deeply into. Music is just music it is beautiful and applies to everyone and is a beautiful thing and art and sorry if I might have caused any problems for anybody. Destroyed myself , I sort of thought it necessary cause of politics if people think I am elitist or whatever not going to be able to get work for years and I had all sort of problems with women and got tired so I just sort of destroyed myself out of not being able to deal with that appropriately or sarcastic or sociopathic or psychotic fed up, and just didnt want to deal with things or frustrated , and having life go by and watching and and everything spiraling out of control and not wanting to do this anymore or disappear and take off. All my life in service too the different spectrum of freemasons. Sorry for whatever problem I might be invovled in or sort of connected if I have any future at all I am just trying to go back with my family and get healthy. My neighbors are sort of carrying on a little still but barely and it doesnt really get to me anymore. And whatever my speculation at times in the past towards certain people I could be wrong and sort of stopped at every turn when I tryied to get someone to listen to me and do something about them , ie. parents , psychiatrists, therapists, ect. I am sorry if I offended anyone on any of my speculation on conspiracies.

[edit on 18-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I knew I said this wasnt going to turn into my last thread me talking to myself. And I admit I am sort of out of touch with s*** my neighbors put me on house arrest A cid trip and I couldnt get a job or a car and led to problems in my personal life and here. Its almost like everywhere I go everyone around me is laughing at me in passive aggresive of symbols-ism and I am sorry if sometimes it looks or sounds like I am having a nervous breakdown or something. Looking back now I wish I never went online in 05 or when I got here early 08 and was just a normal person instead of drawing attention to myself. I saw possible subliminals in 88 or 91 or the early 90's that might suggest my amnesia and going into shock were planned and then monitored or (heard on comedy central dvds how do you fire someone and keep them from going Postal and a Christmas story that sounds like Texas chainsaw massacre) part of some massive conspiracy , this is all speculation and I am sorry if it is offensive. Just uphill struggle looking at myself in mirror and mirror is shattered with a hammer into a thousand little pieces. Just frustrating sometimes, I didnt know what was going on in 05 and I wish I could go back maybe get to a different future not cause problems for people. Whatever games my neighbors are playing , sacrifice everything in my life to win, a jedi v.s. the empire, destroy myself repeatedly publicly and hope this all passes and things just go back to normal. I was reading some others writing and normal people whatever frenzy or not being able to communicate or breathe or whatever my s*** looks like , I am just sorry for anything which might have been offensive and not written right or worded right I am sorry.

P.S. walking around best buy just lookin at cds peoples art something beautiful and anything else electronics movies or video games get lost with A cid reteroric just real life had to leave behind to be a cancer to everybody around me just normal life to go crazy or rebel against authority and everyone saying I am crazy. I dont know I am sorry.

[edit on 20-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I just wanted to attach one final thing hopefully to all my other stuff. What I was my own personal interpretation of Raging Against the Machine was that my personal life has been left in shambles cause of the machine corporations. I have crazy theorys about possible conspiracies and I have been doing this 8 years , I couldve made a career out of it. Three strokes and a castration was covered up and possibly black ops or shadow ops arranged and with complete memory swipe told I fell off a train or was hit with no physical damage. How did they get Cocaine and was it really that big of a deal. So complete amnesia and right side of body paralyzed come back from that , rehabilitate then write some incoherent scribble nonsense cause I was messing up with protocol to women. After that was herded into mental illness and after trying to figure out what was going on for 3 years and everyone sort of denying anything happened but it wound up on MTV maybe? and it was just sort of ridiculous. Every month getting a shot of a heavy anti-psychotic haldol from the 60's and being freaked out that people might want to mess with me cause try to be special or copy cat mass murders. My tech teacher said "the cops never talked to you" and I said "no" and I remember how everyone reacted around me. I tryied to get help and contact someone online who could help me figure out what happened , and I might have gotten sloppy when no one would reply . Sorry if here it looks like I am agitated cause of the neighbors sometimes or just not thinking clearly in the middle of several years of all day everyday cant relax cause they may be hacking my brain pacemaker. I got thrown out of college and became sort of hermit like working here and there. My neighbors decided they didnt want me living in the neighborhood and "decided" I was evil and maybe a part of Revelations and sort of tryied to push me off the edge of sanity. Because of them playing high school childrens games, I got to the end of my path found out what was going on and took severe personal damage in my real life like possibly being sterile probably any stupid games high school wanted to play trying to win the imaginary lotto and me being irish and having a temper throwing things and burning the whole thing down. I used to be a person and used to have a family and friends and working on living my life or getting better and sometimes looking back a complete and utter disregard for my life or why I have to do this. I know everyones got problems or their own problems, its just like treated like cattle head trip or partial retartation or 2 steps back one forwards and I didnt do a thing to deal with repercussions of other people ruining a graduation ceremony or my neighbors trying to relocate me or destroy my personal life for their stupid illegal game. I dont know music is just music havent listened to that much in 5 years, I used to try to build a map of 200 or so cds and yeah subliminals were there. So know whenever they are done try to pick up the pieces in my real life, heard a song on the radio "you dont care about us or little girl or something" . Great man I was talking about the human price of whatever may or may not be going on and I dont really know why they needed me for, when I am back at home in my house and this is over you "want me to cry over spilt milk" about your business proposal or your fans or maybe "dont judge a book by its cover" whatever reason some people brought religion into this. Mission accomplished you know how many times I heard my neighbors say "no he has to die" or try to throw me out of neighborhood cause they dont want me living next to them , I guess sort of living comfortably isnt enough for them,"to park in handicap spaces while handicap people make handicap faces". I try to read into everything around me a little too much and I know its bad and I shouldnt just they taught me amazing things about language. I am sorry if while I have been a member here I have been inapproiate or posting some things out of context or no one wants to hear.

P.S. I just wanted to add I am a real person my neighbors are real people I dont know how they expect people to deal with things. Art is just art , you can go crazy trying to see patterns that arent there or its art means something to everyone. Watching dvd extras to Taxi Driver and one guy said a guy came up to him and said , you found me thats me and he said no a lot of people feel like that. They just said "so thats right youre on my cd" I( was thinking " for 3 years of this get the F out of my house, I am sort of having personal problems nervous breakdown made an @$* of myself in witchunt I dont really care whats on the cd . Other peoples music its supposed to be beautiful art or music for everyone, get the F out of my house!!!!!!

[edit on 26-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry for my posts in the past, I wish I could erase them or they didnt happen. My posts could border on speculation or delusion and I was sort of being tortured by my neighbors. After 14 months bouncing off the walls or them playing there derogatory games and I wasnt sure what was real I came here. I dont remember a lot of things I may have speculated about or going on tangens or some scraps or information that might make sense whether verbal or or observed. I have been sort of stuck in a insane asylum and was waiting for things to pass or get better. There may have been misinformation deinformation or plain out propaganda concerning things. Things couldve been changed, or going on feelings or trying to decipher cyptic things in art which could mean anything to anyone. This is sort of all ridiculous from my point of veiw , living in my house whatever speculation and its never enough for my neighbors, personal self destruction or destroying my image all crazy with a hammer in the real world if a lot of people know. I was just frustrated and felt like a victum of several maybe unneccessary injustices. I dont have that much proof about any of my speculation of things which might make sense in the past, and I am sort of stuck in loop with neighbors trying to patiently wait for this to end. I get critized for every little thing, A LOT . I was strung out and tired and couldnt bust them yet and whatever protest they do outside my house for me to move it hasnt worked and is not going to. I am sorry for keep bothering the people who own this site or work here and others but I got rights just like everybody else. I know there might be feds on this site or work here or maybe a disinformation site set up by the government or something. I am sorry for keep bothering you and I will not in the future. I couldnt get out of things in the past and trying to with people around me , and this shouldnt be my problem , been playing with rubix cube for almost a decade and I dont care anymore I was just trying to get out. Psychotic whatever may or may not , maybe chip CPU in brain and neighbors think they can break any law they want and relocate me , I am sorry I am just tired. Got s*** list all of life and didnt care anymore , I am sorry I wont bother you anymore. Sometimes maybe felt just had to put story in print or somewhere I dont know I was exhausted at times and just trying to get out of things.

My neighbors were yelling on their front lawn saying we dont want you here and my next door neighbor who may have started this was talking about the Fair club. Honey, life isnt fair get used to it. Were you in the hospital with three stokes 13 with right side of body paralyzed? I didnt get to go to college after high school , mommy and daddy didnt buy me a car and I didnt really get to start my life . Life isnt fair , I dont care if you dont wanna watch MTV dont you realize the problem you may have caused for fans in different states carrying on forever. I am just trying to survive with crazy politics and hoping things eventually get back to normal. I made myself a laughingstock all across were I live screwed up future or job prospects and everyone around me knows of driving too fast or drunk or strung out tired and annoyed of her childrens game of hate trying to throw me out of neighborhood based on them thinking I am a columbiner or something. The email I sent in 05' included "can you help me", I sorta dont know whats going on and freaked out and scared. Just posting this cause I am still not allowed to call the cops and maybe they will read this and stop or maybe the police or FBI will get wind of it if a lot of people everywhere around me know about this. Maybe she can call the musicians on MTV and say she doesnt like their music about concepts or ideas or a series of concepts or ideas.

I wanna watch the Jeremy video from Pearl Jam and Deliverence over and over and over again.

[edit on 28-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

You know, I am sorry , for anyone that finds my string of disjointed threads. I dont know whats going on I have certain information or hunches or scraps that could be wrong. I sort of spent my whole life on sidelines trying to get better or cause of whatever crazy politics for this great lottery ticket I might have. You know if they dont want to hear from the people having to live with the young intern hat on or whatever this they couldve done something different. Great you know do whatever but sort of destroyed myself and everything collapsed on top of itself at the end of whatever may or may not be going on. I was just a kid in the begining like anybody else , didnt have a plan for whatever to do in thirties or forties or after that, I dont know what I am gonna do now if things ever go back to normal. And I sorta caused and have been involved in a lot of problems with real people in real life that go in circles cause of maybe.

Its late so hopefully this wont bother people and just be included on my other threads if anyone finds it. I tried to say I wasnt special or things havent been so great and might have gotten used too , whatever the freemasons may or may not be doing if it caused problems and others my age wanted to revolt. Years ago had mental problems thought it might have been on tv if people thought I was a super villian or something. I thought , talking to my self maybe this has reach and my case study might be able to help people. I dont know if people are annoyed or a bad aura like cancer when I go around and made a fool of myself repeatedly here sometimes. Just in the past maybe just emotion sometimes and I was sort of in a bad state of mind getting sort of hazed while world was crashing and thinking I might get shot and maybe just coming here was a break where I could talk to people. Sometimes in the past I might have been sort of "campaigning " any wrongful alledged guilty verdict or any number of problems or anything , I am sorry and I know it wasnt focused and my theories might have bothered a lot of people. I was just a kid moving around a lot, parents had problems and I had a massive head injury, after high school I kept trying to make sense of things what may be going on, and I could be wrong on several occasions. I dont know I am sorry for coming here and bothering you people with this in the past or meandering around.

I was just frustrated that 15 years or so might have been going in circles with problems cause of this , or the last decade. I know everyone has problems and people around me have problems. I sort of get known for this people in the supermarket or where ever might here things about facebook or something or a internet thing . Maybe unnessary problems sort of brought my real world crashing down around me for a decade or so looping and if I am connected to peoples material or something. Made a disgusting pissed off frenzy in public and whatever this might resemble with religious undertones or whatever. Just angry at the system which might have put these politics in place and I know I am supposed to be responsible around the whole spectrum of people this could reach.

I saw guys in suits at about 3 different hospitals psychiatric wards and my head was all over the place feeling like I was gonna pop or couldnt deal and not knowing what was going on , looking up at helicopters that kept showing up , I am sorry for all the problems my threads in the past may have led to though been all over the place in the last 4 or 5 years.


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I know I said it in the past but this really is the last post. I have been disgraceful in the past or sort of having mental problems sometimes and sort of swirling around or spiraling out of control. I know I caused a lot of problems for myself and my family and friends and the people in real life , trying to fight the system. I used to be just a person made a mockery of myself here and I dont know what this looks like , I feel awkward outside like peoples eyes are looking through me or some people might know some things. Listening to music and looking around stores and I wish I could go back and change things and not cause problems for anyone. I dont even know what this looks like to the average person , if things are just concepts or ideas or things were supposed to be handled covertly. My neighbor even said today its not fair, and I wish I didnt cause any problems for anyone. I remember someone saying to me awhile ago , you should go outside more often , and if I just stayed strung out or cuped up or cabin fever or space madness or something and I wish things went differently in the past. I am not even really legitimately mental ill, I mean we could all show some symptoms sometimes of behavior they are vague and analyze a lot, but I just have had to go in circles in and out of the psych ward and it used to really get to me sometimes. Whatever may or may not be going on in this sort of double life I used to lead I let it consume me and keep causing problems for me and those around me. My neighbors are just people and we sort of spent a long time in breakfast club , I didnt really want to get them in trouble sometimes , just at times it feels like they are breaking my back. I dont know just delirious or tired from walking around in the desert it feels like and people are just people , I really wish I didnt cause problems or attach a sign to my head or back.

My neighbors shouldnt of done this in the first place , they shouldnt continue doing it , going into 4th year I dont know why they all still show up and do it. I had to be hospitalized 13 maybe in connection to this, 3 weeks after high school ended they came after me , 21 kicked out of college to go into psych for arguments about whats real and nerves havent really been able to move forwards and 3 years with neighbors. I dont have a license never did the other day saying last job on the books was 11 years ago worked here and there. They shouldnt be allowed to get away with this for whatever reason, whatever shadowy cigarette smoking man in a dark room. I screwed up future for work and sort of women and pyschological really pissed off had to go through maze and do all this , isnt going to happen now and there where other reoccuring problems in the past so I was thinking of trying to take off to Vegas, people should try to look and see why I put this here neighbors or others , yeah pretty steep paying for ticket of magical F in journey or bill and ted s excellent adventure.

[edit on 2-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry for my language or tone sometimes and this is really just a continuation of my last thread , too much time went by and I couldnt edit. Whatever might have been set into motion with crazy politics on people or me people around and whatever the musicians may or may not be doing it has been stressful for everyone around. I only have speculation that is pretty much all I ever had and theories, but crazy politics if they thought something might happen or "the beast" you know a kid with a massive head injury and all the things that might have followed. I am sorry for any probvlems I might be sort of connected to or attached in some way in the past I really wasnt thinking OK . And just sort of tainted of cancer to things afterward , and it is just a messed up position to be in. I was playing GTA IV Liberty City Stories and at the club music was playing then they said "give it up for the freemasons". I dont know what to think sometimes might have been a long journey of psychological or emotional rollercoaster or just freaked out at times years ago before I got better of the head injury. Trying to look back and reflect and the problems maybe for those around me and I dont know sorry for stirring things.

I am sorry in the past being frustrated about situation maybe head messed up awhile over possible castration that was covered up , 8 years of life being mentally ill havent been able to work or get a car, told military gave me a disease for trying out for American idol, maybe sterile and sick for a month and disgusting things happened in the hospital when I was asleep. Fifteen years maybe of course you dont have to pay me for not explaining rules of not being allowed to talk about it, by the way when I ripped up my health insurance and I saw everybody on a few streets have a brand new car and washing it my family didnt get a S.T.A.R.S. rebate check they sent something in the mail saying all of New York state got one and they are thinking of sending another and were asking for a petition for tax relief and the senate was blocking them , so if anyone sees this , my family didnt get the first one. I wouldnt post again just got pissed off in room still trying to deal with neighbors.

There is a difference between leader and prisoner.

Second line.



[edit on 4-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 5-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry I just wanted to post one more thing, I couldnt sleep last night listening to ambient sounds in the environment and I think some of my neighbors having a field day. I might have been read a script where this girl makes some false feelings up then over time leads to a confrontation where her boyfriend challenged me to a fight . It was 1/4 in the morning and told fight was eventually planned for 1/11 (real original 3 ones or 3 a bad #?) Heard 20 people were gonna be there and they tried to trick me into it and supposedly "I was gonna be put in the hospital worse than my accident (13)". Its sorta annoying trying to deal with neighbors not being able to assert my rights but I am not dying or being put in a coma over this. I personally dont watch that much MTV it used to bother me, but I think they may have planned this or tryed to push into motion maybe frustrated I didnt move and they were stubborn about stopping. I dont listen to a bunch of new sounds or bands , I sorta got stuck in my house doing things for the mental illness system they say "he controls the world" and I dont know if this is -B.S. fake friends of false rapture eagle by satan fake friends have will to allow B.S. to reach mind of satan---Mabus . They call me a loser and gay a lot and I am just waiting for them to leave they have some sort of superiority complex or something and I get stressed out and doing things hour after hour like listening to the same cd over and over so you can think clearly. I am sorry if some of my posts in the past didnt feel addressed to people or just me talking to myself and seemed out of place or odd.

A lot of my time since high school felt like treated like cattle , 3 years with neighbors going into 4?

[edit on 5-1-2010 by P. O. W.]

OK this is it wont bother you anymore. I dont have a case if I call the police about possible spy guns or harassment they will call me crazy and cause problems for me. I am sorry everyone found schizo journal or expose against injustice in the system where I talk to myself and I am kinda loopy cause I am tired of neighbors. I got banned from stores , buses dont stop for me, and ambulances follow me around everytime I leave house felt like giving todays the finger . Yeah I got rights too my neighbors cant do this to me , I am allowed to go outside. I start carrying around things that can be used as weapons and look normal who is gonna stop me in daylight. I dont listen to that much music in 5 years used to feel insulted and it would piss me off, I havent been paying attention, its about all the spectrum of experiences of life. I dont know that much about religion or (s) any of them. I was home watching cartoons and playing video games till my neighbor s broke in trying to destroy my life or strategiclly relocate me. I dont know whats going on and whatever the freemasons may or may not be doing. At the time I got pissed off destroyed identity or sense of self like the end of "Heathers" movie, I have had this problem chronicly in the past, it seemed like a good idea on paper. I have had it or I am done with women it was never going to happen anyway I dont care and just want to be left alone. I thought maybe my neighbors or potential alias es would set off red flags and catch them yesterday heard neighbor say "you ratted me out" I think what I wrote about mabus. Whatever revolution or angst against the system or whatever unite troops to march I dont know . I am sick and tired of problems or detours maybe 13 years for other peoples money. I am sorry for ruining something beautiful if thats the case. I am sorry if some of the people that know me find things I wrote , at times neighbors were driving me crazy at times just putting statements online in a forum I dont know sorta out of it.

Music is music about life experiences. Today talking to the doctors I was diagnosed paranoid schizoeffective, schizophrenia and bi-polar. Thinking back they cant look inside your brain how you describe your symptoms verbally is how they diagnose you. I am tired of doing this posting , tired of people looking at me like they know me, tired of my neighbors going into 4th year that they are doing this, tired of talking to myself cause I had to weigh 2 options crazy or something else like the Emily Rose exorcist movie s court case. Tired of their stupid high school game and their society. Today getting back from lending my dad 20$ for gas at the bank I heard "watch out pop tart" and "911" and "I know where you live" and you know thats great how 4 years pass they try to kill me twice I make an @$* out of myself and no one feels they need to do a thing. I used to live in a normal house like any other with my family live a normal life. The country was almost attacked in 93 I would say look it up but I dont know that much about it. People in the desert might know something about top secret imaginary classified less than 1% of the population knows about if this is real half way around the world. Cause of some crappy songs that werent even witten yet, if that is real. If this was on peoples radar before 05 or before 08 when I came here and not just art taken out of context cause it can mean something different to everyone that hears it and who orginally wrote it. I listen to this band Matthew Good Band they are from Canada,Coldplay and Radiohead are from Europe, trying to imagine today how this might be a little possible record labels giving them scripts about as my neighbors would put it "stupid retarted baby" of me what being locked in my house. I hate this I hate what my life has become, the country being at war ohh we are more concerned about what goes on on mtv or I hate you or youre trying to control the world, you know some people have real problems me I got my dic* cut off left on the tracks to die then after high school yeah after everyone plays this stupid retarted game with information and laughs at me and wants to pretend I am gay. Thinking today all the people I know that already died, 2 younger than me, I dont know how long this is gonna be a problem but if I can make out disappear change my identity. I know a lot about schizophrenia and mental illness finding patterns that dont exist , believing in things that arent real dillusions, hallucinations audio and video , hearing voices that arent there,ect. I tryied to feel some things out when I first got here in may 08 caused a big problem and have been trying to slowly walk away or get out of this. Lord of the Flies or relentless stupid children playing mindless games thinking they have the authority to relocate me cause me living with my family is too much of an inconvienance to them and know it has been about 33 months of everyday neighbors in the own houses with maybe a spy gun and speakers or walkie talkies carrying on their nonsense campaign I have already been in 5 or so psych wards they are not gonna relocate me had to put up with their homosexual friends trying to touch me when I was asleep for BIG MONEY that no one in real life has to talk to you about it is coming anyway, not kids making fun of me in another institution trying to molest me or something. I hate my life it is all retarted I really am trying to stop posting I thought if I waited long enough they would just go away and things would eventually go back to normal, but it looks like that might not happen . If I have verbal proof of them trying to trap me into an attempted murder or serious injury doesnt that at least warrant a visit by the MIB or FBI or something . I think they might be on this site too if you can check IP addresses , some before I came here some after I dont know what else to do uhhh S.O.S.

P.O.W. is sorry for bothering you with insanity nonsense , P.O.W. cant deal or cope with real life anymore, P.O.W. is gonna check himself into maybe some long term psychiatric care cause P.O.W. cant deal with life or go outside, P.O.W. is name that was thought of real fast and all his stuff was used to think arrange maybe a book based on things like this for years out of mind not talking to people hiding messed up I need to stop doing this and other things get out of situation , I am sorry.

[edit on 6-1-2010 by P. O. W.]