Todays Youth and the Lack of Parenting

It starts with the parents. Kids are so "bad" these days because the parents expect the burden of raising the child to be anyone's responsibility, except their own. Now, if you are a parent, don't jump at me...it's a generalization. I'm sure YOU ALL are good parents...at least I hope

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Aggie Man]

Me and my husband have always made our work schedule work AROUND our children as opposed to our children around the schedule.

I guess it helps that I own my own business and he's a doctor with his own practice, but then again it's all a matter of time and effort for your children.

I do see the increase in no parenting parents who seem to think the TV is the best remedy when they are gone, or the leave them with the 13 year old accross the street until they get home from whatever event they were at.

It's sad when you think about it. It's as if these people think that their lives cannot include the children in every aspect, when in reality you can.

For example, we were going to a exclusive dinner party for physicians in our province and found out at the last minute that we could not get a sitter, so we brought the kids with us.

To our surprise all of the other doctor's children were also present at the occasion. So not only was a good time for us, but it was also a great time for our children.

Parenting is like education, you only get what you put into it.

~Keeper

reply to post by MissMegs


Interesting thread! I agree on this point but have one more to add: my 6 yr. old grandson (and yes,it's me in the picture,yes,I was quite young when I had kids,LOL!) has some rather serious behavorial issues due to the lack of parenting.
His Mother informed me the other day while he was throwing an un-provoked tantrum that it's "the wheat" and she suspects glutens are the root of all evil because Dr. Phil or some other "noted idiot" says so.
I literally laughed until tears ran down my face...now they have "THE WHEAT" to blame as well...damn that cereal and pasta!!!

Another PRIME example of "parenting at it's finest": I was at Walmart yesterday and while in line at the RX counter,witnessed a yong Mom shoplifting. I said nothing but she KNEW I saw her.She actually tucked the item up the shirt of the child in the cart.The child thought it was funny and said "I wanna' take something TOO Mommy!!!"

OMG....the kicker???? The Mom was playing on her iphone in line while her male partner paid for their groceries in you've got it...food stamps.
Sooooo many things to "blame"...right.

I am all for some selective-breeding personally,LOL!

I must weigh in on this topic. I own a small music school and store in a pretty affluent area near Pittsburgh, PA. I see a lot of kids come through my shop each week. This is an area where the two parent household is pretty common. It is upper middle class suburbanite heaven. Usually Mom stays home, dad is moderately to very successful in whatever he does and kids are spoiled.

I see a lot of kids who are products of their parents materialistic and social competitiveness. These kids have absolutely no free time or free will. they are shuffled from activity to activity most of the time because their parents want them to be in it, not by their own choice.

I have also noticed that these kids all have labels associated with them. Mostly ADHD or behavior problems.

When I spend some time with these kids, most tell me that they are tired, feel overwhelmed or love to take lessons cause I listen to them when they talk. Which at first I took as a compliment, but now just find sad. One kid even told me that I talk to him more in his half hour lesson than his dad does to him all month.

I think these kids lack attention span because they are subject to their parents hyperactive social lives. They act out for attention which they are not receiving at home and are not just given the opportunity to explore their own pursuits.

More importantly they just don't get to e a kid.

These kids are very dysfunctional in my opinion. They never learn responsibility, focus, creativity, discipline, respect and some other key building blocks for becoming a normal adult. Most carry these B.S. labels which are assigned to them whenever they have issues with anything as an excuse for how they are.

I blame the parents for this.

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
Me and my husband have always made our work schedule work AROUND our children as opposed to our children around the schedule.

I guess it helps that I own my own business and he's a doctor with his own practice, but then again it's all a matter of time and effort for your children.

I do see the increase in no parenting parents who seem to think the TV is the best remedy when they are gone, or the leave them with the 13 year old accross the street until they get home from whatever event they were at.

It's sad when you think about it. It's as if these people think that their lives cannot include the children in every aspect, when in reality you can.

For example, we were going to a exclusive dinner party for physicians in our province and found out at the last minute that we could not get a sitter, so we brought the kids with us.

To our surprise all of the other doctor's children were also present at the occasion. So not only was a good time for us, but it was also a great time for our children.

Parenting is like education, you only get what you put into it.

~Keeper

That is exactly the difference i mean about good vs bad parenting, as you say, many dont seem to think they can have a life with their children included, but they are sadly mistaken..i recall when i was pregnant being told by others how life would change, how we would have to change everything we were into and enjoyed, but what they didnt realize is that none of that has to change, simply modify a bit to include the children..
I am sure it does help owning ones own businesses, but even without being able to do that, it can be done.. its like so many parents (using the term loosely for some) get stuck in the trap of materialism instead of affection, tv baby sitters instead of enjoying activities together, and the list goes on.. But it has to be being taught, even if the populace isnt aware, through predictive programming..as an above member mentioned, the television and movie families portrait a lot of this.. kids arent being taught values any longer, but greed and selfishness..
I thank you for your post, all of your replies, it certainly has given me hope there are still 'real' parents around today who know these problems and can then avoid them..It just makes things more difficult when properly raised children are living in a village or community full of kids who are not raised at all.. the main thing i have had to explain to mine is rules.. their friends may not have them, but i darn well do! The violence alone i see in many of them (we live on a street of mainly boys) scares me to no end..

Well, I know all about the youth of today, being part of them, and out of the hundreds of kids/late teens I've met in my life I'd say about an eighth of them have been trustworthy and alright to know. Most of them are like it because their parents can't be bothered to bring them up or they think it's all down to other people (teachers) to make sure they grow up right.

I've always thought that they were just idiots, which is partly true for the majority and wholly true for some, but nowadays I tend to wonder how they live at home, though most of them spend their time standing around street corners and benches. I grew up with my Dad and I've had an absolutely brilliant upbringing.

I'm at the sixth form of my old secondary school, and we get kids spraying fire extinguishers around, setting off fireworks in the corridors, stabbing each other with various things and occassionally injuring teachers before running around in the busy road outside and throwing things at cars. It's endless, but I wonder whether they'd be doing it if they were being brought up right. Still, I think a lot of it is all down to the kids themselves, cause some of them come from loving families and such, but yet they're still gits. Yesterday whilst getting some art work done a firework went off outside and totally shattered a couple of the windows in that room, which was a pretty nasty shock. Who did it? A group of kids in the car park. Kids aren't always to blame, but they certainly cause a lot of trouble. Parents need to pay more attention to their kids and show them more love; whilst kids need to let them in and take notice of what they're flipping told.

Sorry if I veered off topic anywhere along the line, just had to have a rant...

Ramadwarf on fireworks and parenting

i made a big thread on this a few months back.

i still say whoop ya dang kid's..stop trying to be there friends..
these punk's now aday's need took down a few peg's..is all it is.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

don't beat ya kid give em a good arse whooping.

it was good for your parents in there day and there parents parents parent's...
By god it's good enough for your kid's to it work's!!!!!



[edit on 29-10-2009 by TheAmused]

It's the lack of parenting, and the great number of single parent families. But even a single parent can get the job done. Talk to your kids. Tell them to rules and the consequences for breaking them, then dole out the punishment when need be.

Don't try to be your kid's friend, they have plenty of them their own age. I managed to raise two boys to adulthood, AND IT DAMN NEAR KILLED ME. There were periods of weeks, sometimes months where one or the other wouldn't speak to me, but oh well. They finally got the idea that people weren't paying huge property taxes just so they could go to school and be head jack*** everyday. They both at one time or another said they hated me, but a good soapy rag put a stop to that. I told them they could think any way they wanted about me but they better keep it to themselves. They are both around 30 now, and neither has ever been in jail, and both bring home at least twice what I do, and I have worked at the same job for 23 years! If you could read the things they write in mother day cards now, well, you would be a definite proponent of spare the rod spoil the child.

I told them for years that the hardest job ever in life, was to raise a baby to be a responsible adult. And guess what, neither of them have any kids and I don't think they will, which suits me fine.




[edit on 29-10-2009 by Bombeni]

People have been lamenting how bad youth is for along time. Even as far back as the days of Plato and Socrates, probably even before that. When this batch of disrespectful and bad kids gets older, they will also lament on how bad youth has gotten.

It's just an amusing cycle.

reply to post by SpacePunk


I think it's funny you can't see the difference between kids hiding behind the barn to sneak a cigarette, and KIDS gang raping girls and shooting their entire schools up, etc etc etc etc etc.

reply to post by SpacePunk


Oh it is! Its been a gripe of every generation of adults probably since time began.. but then one looks back and realizes it wasnt as bad as they thought.. but this time, sadly i think its worse than many think..

Originally posted by Bombeni
reply to post by SpacePunk

 

I think it's funny you can't see the difference between kids hiding behind the barn to sneak a cigarette, and KIDS gang raping girls and shooting their entire schools up, etc etc etc etc etc.

i used to be one of those kids hiding behind the barn to sneak a cig or pipe! ..sorry got confused between a few replies here lol

[edit on 29-10-2009 by Full_Vision]

Originally posted by TheAmused
i made a big thread on this a few months back.

i still say whoop ya dang kid's..stop trying to be there friends..
these punk's now aday's need took down a few peg's..is all it is.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

don't beat ya kid give em a good arse whooping.

it was good for your parents in there day and there parents parents parent's...
By god it's good enough for your kid's to it work's!!!!!



[edit on 29-10-2009 by TheAmused]

Yup..there is a huge difference between beating/abusing ones child and disciplining them.. the government has parents so afraid of doing so however that i believe this is also part of the larger problem.. anyone can simply drop a hint to SS and before a blink of the eye they are trying to take your kids away..and because many today refuse to discipline and believe it to be wrong.. a simple swat to the behind can be called in these days!
It makes me think of a situation i stumbled upon last year a few houses down from us..there was a commotion going on in the house, quite loud and disruptive, this was the situation- a 10 year old boy, living with 2 other brothers and their single mother, was trashing the kitchen with a golf club while shouting abuse at the mother because she wouldnt give him money to go to burger king with his friends.. the mother sees a few people taking notice to whats going on and puts her hands up saying ' i just dont know what to do with him'.. If that were mine, (well i would like to think it wouldnt ever even get to such a stage)! he wouldnt be sitting comfortably for awhile, and the confines of his bedroom would get boring quickly as hes locked in it for a few weeks! If the parents cant take any control over their children, there is a serious, serious problem

reply to post by Full_Vision


The government has made the best option not having any kids at all. They are expensive to raise, they can abuse the parents but the parents can't abuse them back, lol. My mom used to have a saying and she is right: the better you treat your kids the more they crap on you. Treat them like the physical/mental/emotional drain that they are and they will worship the ground you walk on.

Let me point out that I love my sons more than life itself, I just never felt they should be allowed to disrespect me or treat me like a pile of crap after having given them life and sacrificed so much for them.

reply to post by quackers


I think Quackers hit the nail on the head. My father was a policeman for nigh on 35 years. He told me once that the amount of crime going on has always been he same. It is the amount reported that has changed. And I mean relative to population.

I do believe that kids today hide behind a protective shield, given to them by overly protective society. I think this has emboldened kids to do things that would of been corrected quickly by clip round the lug hole.

The gang rape story has me disgusted and also puzzled. I just don't know what to make of it. I wish I could of been there (For direct action purposes). As far as I'm concerned, only one human being was present and I hope she finds the strength to carry on. God bless her.

I get on great with my boy/young man. I think most of us here can agree
that kids are the future.

We must try to remember what it was like to be them at that age, factor in
the pressures of today's youth, be firm, fair and act accordingly.

Peace.