Infectious Lack of Respect

"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men
from beasts"...Confucius

Wow! I came across this quote on www.brainyquote.com...

I have been thinking, a lot, about the intensifying appearance of a general lack of respect between humans. I had noticed it in teens, first, and then realized it was not restricted to them. There is an abundance of it here, on ATS, which has been addressed in several threads, as of late.

I am curious if others feel the same way and what they think are the major contributing factors. I have long speculated it began a while ago, when the economy required more mother's to seek employment outside the home. (I say "required", though I believe it began as a means to acquire more 'stuff', rather than a necessity) I think this was a pivotal point in the downturn of society.

I know I was flabbergasted when my son, while in elementary school, told me one of his young female teachers would not allow the students to address her as ma'am. She said it made her feel old. This was in direct conflict with how he had been raised and was confusing to him. It seems a rare occurrence to hear a young person address an elder by ma'am or sir. How often do you hear adults being introduced by their teens, to other teens, by their first names? I hear adults introducing other adults to their children by first names only. This was not acceptable, when I was growing up. My friends' parents were 'Mr. and Mrs. Jones', not Tom and Sue. Answers were given as 'yes ma'am' and 'no sir', not 'yeah' or 'uh-uh'. And you know what? It was easy, it was free and it earned us the respect of our elders. Now, it is such an uplifting compliment, when someone tells me how polite my son was toward them.

I can't help but believe this lack of verbal respect has deteriorated into an overall lack of respect for others, particularly those in positions of authority. I fear how this will play out, in the future. I posted this in the "Diseases and Pandemics" forum, because I believe it is something that is eating away at the human condition, like a rampantly spreading infection.

Thoughts?

reply to post by WTFover

I can't help but believe this lack of verbal respect has deteriorated into an overall lack of respect for others, particularly those in positions of authority

It seems you have decided to overlook those in positions of authority and their own shaddy actions that distinquish themselves from what you would call righteous...


And yes, this is a fair generalization...


You noticed this lack of respect in teens..? I'd say the lack of respect started a few generations ago and we are all paying the price...any suggestions how to fix it, or just a complaint..?

I believe it is something that is eating away at the human condition, like a rampantly spreading infection.

Spot on...






[edit on 10/15/2009 by happygolucky]

Go to youtube and watch some of "pruane2forever" 's his videos. About 99% of the comments on his videos are insults for no reason.

Those comments show a COMPLETE LACK of RESPECT.

I can't believe these people have the nerve.

I have been accused of being touchy when I Shake a man's hand, or kiss a woman on the cheek.
This was part of my heritage growing up, and was a sign of great respect in the cultural background I grew up in.
That don't fly anymore though.
I can't help but think of that scene in DEMOLITION MAN.

My biggest pet peeve of all though, has got to be people simply refusing to say excuse me.
I say excuse me even when the slightest of errors has occurred.

People will stand 2 inches in front of you, expecting you to move.
If I see them coming, I will do the right thing and move obligingly and without hesitation.
So many times though, someone comes up to you and before you know it, they are trying to push their way through you.
Anyone been grocery shopping in NY/NJ recently?
I stand firm, and if they push, I exclaim that "An excuse me will suffice!!"
I have gotten into some heaters because of that.

I've been polite and asked someone to excuse "ME" so I can move about, I never push my way through and maintain personal space at all times.
I often get the cold shoulder and no one seems to want to acknowledge, so I reiterate a bit louder, and sometimes that get's their attention, but not always.



Lack of courtesy and respect is indeed infectious.
I am glad that I won't ever catch that bug though.



A quick example.
TRUE STORY.
An man in his 50's-60's came up behind a young girl "no older than 10" and her mother.
He was obviously in a hurry, so he pushed the little girl out of the hands of her mother and to the ground with his carriage. He proceeded to run over the girls legs and fingers.
the mother was dumbfounded, but several onlookers helped out the girl, while I grabbed the man's carriage and told him to do that to me, and proceeded to harshly scold him.
He shrugged it off and went about his business, until the manager ejected him from the store, forcefully.

[edit on 10/15/2009 by reticledc]

[edit on 10/15/2009 by reticledc]

I am glad that I can offer some hope in the matter at hand. See, I made a thread 2 days ago that deals with this matter as it affect ATS, and I got a wonderful response for the most part. I won't put a link here because that would be shameless self-promotion and this is YOUR thread, not mine. People know how to find it if they want to.
But onto the good news. I agree with you that it is an infectious thing we are dealing with, the more people are exposed to others not showing respect, the less it is considerd by them when the time comes to show it. The good news: it goes both ways. The tendency to be decent to others is also contagious, this is evidenced by the fact that your thread showed up so close to mine, and i have heard there have been others lately as well! So maybe we can start a small trend in the other direction, the more people that read our threads, the more peoplle that will have it fresh on their minds, and possibly this will manifest itself in their daily actions.
My hope is that the people that our readers show mutual respect to may unknowingly pass it on as well, and we could end up with a sort of "pay-it-forward" scenario, where our good intentions spread from person to person and create something larger and more significant.
If anyone hasn't seen that movie by the way, check it out, very good.
star and flag to the OP for great karma!

reply to post by happygolucky

It seems you have decided to overlook those in positions of authority and their own shaddy actions that distinquish themselves from what you would call righteous...

I never used the term "righteous", however, I believe everyone is entitled to respect, until they exhibit an undeserving character. Particularly, those "in positions of authority", such as educators, law enforcement, judges, etc. These are people in whom we entrust our lives and those of our children.

And yes, this is a fair generalization...

Not really.

...any suggestions how to fix it, or just a complaint..?

That's easy. Take responsibility for our own actions. Respect others and teach our children the quality of respect. Remember that an individual can lose your respect, for him or her only. Not for the entirety of any group, to which he/she might belong.

Originally posted by WTFover
"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men
from beasts"...Confucius

Wow! I came across this quote on www.brainyquote.com...

Dogs respect their masters if trained properly.

I have been thinking, a lot, about the intensifying appearance of a general lack of respect between humans. I had noticed it in teens, first, and then realized it was not restricted to them. There is an abundance of it here, on ATS, which has been addressed in several threads, as of late.

There are an inconceivable amount of events happened all over the world, internal and external, which people have strong feels about. Not to mention how fast paced society is compared to "yesturday." There's also an increasing amount of problems with youth that can't simply be blamed on the ones with the problems. As tensity rises respect will certainly decline, so yes I can agree to this observation.

I know I was flabbergasted when my son, while in elementary school, told me one of his young female teachers would not allow the students to address her as ma'am. She said it made her feel old. This was in direct conflict with how he had been raised and was confusing to him. It seems a rare occurrence to hear a young person address an elder by ma'am or sir. How often do you hear adults being introduced by their teens, to other teens, by their first names? I hear adults introducing other adults to their children by first names only. This was not acceptable, when I was growing up. My friends' parents were 'Mr. and Mrs. Jones', not Tom and Sue. Answers were given as 'yes ma'am' and 'no sir', not 'yeah' or 'uh-uh'. And you know what? It was easy, it was free and it earned us the respect of our elders. Now, it is such an uplifting compliment, when someone tells me how polite my son was toward them.

Not to be snippy, but wouldn't it be respectful for the teacher's students to obey her wishes without questioning them? It's not like she said something that could potentially harm anyone, she just prefers informality. Personal preferences are a matter of respect, but she's the one in authority, so she is really in no way disrespecting her students by telling them to do this.. Not everyone is concerned about how things were when you were growing up..

In fact, I'd say if you made this an issue with her you would be the one being disrespectful by undermining her authority.

People have less respect and compassion these days for a great number of reasons I would imagine. It is very disturbing.

There has been an increasing lack of respect not only for others and also self respect.

Whats with bra straps showing, and young men regularly touching there man parts as if readjusting them?

No respect for other drivers on the road also.

What I'm about to say is harsh but I believe it is mostly because of bad parenting.

I am ashamed to say it probably started with the baby boomers. of which I am one of.

Drug use escalated dramatically in the 60's and 70's. This led to one parent homes, lock key children and sorriness on many parents part. Then their children had babies and they were not taught proper respect. And on it goes.

I must admit that I grew tired of my parents harping about respecting my elders and people in authority.

I don't have respect for all law enforcement, elected officials and other authority figures. I've seen too much. There are some good guys but many are rotton.

I sure don't respect someone older than I am if they do not deserve my respect. An old mean man belittling his wife gets no respect from me. Neither does an old woman who speaks disrespectively to her husband.

I demand respect from anyone I do business with or they don't get my money.

One type of disrespect that really chaps my butt is when people disrespect those less fortunate folks. When you feel you are better than the fellow down on his luck you are a very shallow person in my opinion.

I'm big on mutual respect.

[edit on 15-10-2009 by dizziedame]

reply to post by Enigma Publius


Feel free to post a link to your thread. Like you said, the more that people are confronted with the idea, maybe it will start to sink in.

People only care about number one for the most part. Our whole society is full of disrespect.

We listen to music that insult and degrade, we watch programs that insult and degrade, we watch politicians insult and degrade. What do we expect?

We seem to love it when people are humiliated and embarrassed.

Well thank you!

I agree that the more we talk about it the more aware folks will be about how they act. The thread deals mainly with this issue as it applies to ATS. I was getting tired of the same thing someone in this thread mentioned.

It seems that a lot of ATS'ers believe they are a better person than the "sheeple" that we talk about, and act snobby towards them when we should be doing everything we can to open their eyes. Also there is a snobby attitude here with some who obviously think they are better than others who are not as good at grammar in my case. In this thread that I am about to link, if you look on page 4 you will see that after 4 pages of 99% good feedback, a member attempts to discredit my entire thread by insulting my grammar, and only types one sentence in this reply. The member makes no attempt at all to tell me WHAT I did wrong, which would at least be helpful, only slams my intelligence and merit because of my spelling and sentence structure.

Does anyone actually believe that someone's ideas are not valid if they are just horrible at english and grammar??? Honestly, if my ability to think was always based on my grammar, they wouldn't let me go anywhere without a helmet!



here's the link, I'll be watching this thread, and I hope it get s a lot of attention!

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Originally posted by dizziedame


One type of disrespect that really chaps my butt is when people disrespect those less fortunate folks. When you feel you are better than the fellow down on his luck you are a very shallow person in my opinion.



[edit on 15-10-2009 by dizziedame]

This is what I was refering to in my other reply. I see this as very similar to disrespecting someone or thinking you are better than them because of their vocabulary or use of grammar.
Maybe the fellow who disrespected me has a better education, thus better grammar, but I don't see how that inherently makes my ideas less valid than his.

Great contribution D.D.

reply to post by Enigma Publius



Are you talking about PenandSword's post..?

I thought I locked the door to the cell where we keep the spelling and grammar police. Looks like one got loose.

Pointing out a posters spelling and word usage mistakes is just another form of disrespect.

Do the best you can and don't let them bother you.

You get your point across well and that's the point in communication, having others understand what we are saying.

reply to post by happygolucky


yes, after 4 pages of really encouraging responses, and an INTELLIGENT debate with dizziedame, Pen shows up and posts a perfect example of how you should NOT respond to someone here if you want to be taken seriously.

I even took a couple of playful jabs back and forth with D.D., but it's pretty obvious to anyone reading that we were still being pretty decent about it. I made a new friend with D.D. in the process.

[edit on 16-10-2009 by Enigma Publius]

reply to post by Enigma Publius


Glad you chimed back in...

yes, after 4 pages of really encouraging responses, and an INTELLIGENT debate with dizziedame, Pen shows up and posts a perfect example of how you should NOT respond to someone here if you want to be taken seriously.

Keep in mind EP, other than statistics and physical evidence, everything else on these boards is subjective - so your opinion may very well be seen as asinine by someone else...right or wrong.


As to how they express themselves thereafter, well this place can bring out the best and the worst...another reason to appreciate it.


I too have u2u'd members after a heated debate - or to be more honest a flame session, and wound up with a new friend...good stuff.





BTW - I starred penandswords post...

its everywhere;
it comes from a lack of education in etiquette and ethics

Sure we see rudeness on ATS and throughout the world... but we also see people with skin that's tissue thin. People need to toughen up a bit as much as people need to exercise more diplomacy.

In saying that we must also forgive people for being passionate or overly sensitive... and ultimately human. Sometimes people mess up.. and that's fine so long as they apologise when they cool down.

I don't always like 'touchy feelie' threads. I like to see a bit of passion and fire in the discourse so long as it works towards the truth. It shows me that people still care enough about the world and their individual standpoints.

Just my 2 cents...

IRM

reply to post by InfaRedMan


True. However, as I've said many times before, due to the high concentration of Type A personalities here, it is unlikely any of us will ever change the mind, opinion or attitude of an oppossing ATSer. Most of us come here to express our views and opinions, rather than looking for something to dispel them.

Passionate debate is one thing, but, when it degenerates into name calling or just baseless insults, it can not be productive. The worst are those dealing with religion. If another user hasn't accepted our argument, after three or four cloned post attempts, it probably ain't gonna happen. Let it go. Our worlds will not not come crashing down around our ears, just because someone (more than likely we've never met nor will meet) doesn't agree with us.

[edit on 16-10-2009 by WTFover]