Today, I have forgiven

Today I feel amazing. Elated, enlightened..like no matter the clouds outside nothing can dim the light emanating from within me. Like someone took the weight off my shoulders, the hard lump of black coal the took up most of the space where my heart should be. I see the world differently now..and I love it.
I harbored anger, hatred, for someone who hurt me for a long time. I spewed venom for this person at every turn, and wished them ill will whenever the chance presented itself. When bad luck manifested their way..I'd laugh.
I was wrong.
It made me a horrible, bitter, mistrustful person.
Yesterday, upon learning this person was very down and out and in need of help...I gave it. I gave all I was able to give. I didn't think twice about it, I just did it. And I realized, I no longer hate this person, I have forgiven them. Not forgotten, and not allowing them to be toxic to my life, just simply forgiven.
And it feels so damn good..like flying in the air..free.
Today, I have forgiven, and today..Iam a better person.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Awesome AccessDenied. I am glad you found it within yourself to forgive that individual and are able to share the experience with us. It is a good reminder for me. I often hold grudges and feel the same way you did. I will remember this now. Thanks AccessDenied.

I am so happy for you.

Hate seems to be like a heavy feeling that engulfs us but the joy of forgiveness lightens our spirits.

May your spirit be free like a butterfly and never be caught up in hate again.

Peace and Love to you.

Thank you both...
I was the worst person for holding grudges..years over a tiny little incident.
I don't want to be engulfed by hatred..it made me sad, and it breeds a cancer inside you.

Dear diary, today I will smile, and it will be real for all to see..no more hiding it, no more a mask of pain and sadness will I wear, and wherever I go, and whomever I meet..I will share my smile. For laughter is contagious, and the best medicine of all.

[edit on 26-9-2009 by AccessDenied]

I am going to rain on your parade.

You are of course, 100% right in that dwelling on negatives only makes you worse off. There is nothing better than focusing on positives and letting the rest slide by.

But ...

Chances are the person you used to hate and who you now helped, will, once back on their feet, be completely unappreciative, and will likely do again whatever it is that they did to bug you in the first place.

Then it will be your job to once again struggle against your tendency to be angry. Maybe now though, you will be better at it, having experienced how liberating it can be.

Good luck.

Good for you. Forgiveness is always the best way to peace of mind.

Funny thing that most people don't realize that forgiveness benefits only the person doing the forgiving. It does not benefit the person being forgiven and therefore is not a "sell-out". Vengence only hurts the one who is filled with vengence and is a poison. The concept of fairness is just that... a concept. Life is not fair. I've tried for years to make a friend of mine understand this but she just will not and it is hurting her so badly. I wish she would do as you have done.

Originally posted by wayno
Chances are the person you used to hate and who you now helped, will, once back on their feet, be completely unappreciative, and will likely do again whatever it is that they did to bug you in the first place.

So what? Good deeds should not be based on anticipated appreciativeness of the person in the first place... just that it's the right thing to do. That is why one doesn't forget what was done to them in forgiving them. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you are open to befriending the person again, because you are hopefully smarter this time around, it only means that you have moved on. It's actually the best kind of vengence you can give.

[edit on 26/9/2009 by Iamonlyhuman]

woooot. that's the nitty gritty right there, access. it's so effective in removing accumulated negative energy, that even 12 step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, use it to help in the recovery process. that's what i'm talkin' bout! had a similar event happen when i found out i had breast cancer. i called all my inlaws and told them i loved them very much! it was a very cool thing. years of bad crap just melted away.

reply to post by wayno

Not forgotten, and not allowing them to be toxic to my life, just simply forgiven.

No worries...they will never affect me the same way again.

reply to post by AccessDenied

awesome AccessDenied. after i lost everything, i was hurt. i became bitter and resentful..............a cancer was eating at the very core of my being. it led to stress which lead to heart problems which led to my being waaaaaaaaay out there. i was sick mentally and physically and i wanted those that hurt me hurt. then i invoked the rule of gratitude. it took me 2 years to heal. i have a different perspective on life.

My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants.

J. Brotherton www.randomquotes.org...

AccessDenied, i know exactly how you feel. forgiveness heals the soul and love does conquer. i believe one must possess agapa love in order to forgive. this, my friend, you possess.

I don't think I have ever read a better take on forgiveness than the way Frederick Buechner wrote about anger, and what it does to a person. I never am sure how to safely quote someone, so I will let the enclosed link quote him instead. It is brief, but very well written. I am glad to hear you have experienced the liberating power of forgiveness!

[edit on 26-9-2009 by novacs4me]

Originally posted by AccessDenied
It made me a horrible, bitter, mistrustful person.

You admit that?

Yesterday, upon learning this person was very down and out and in need of help...I gave it. I gave all I was able to give. I didn't think twice about it, I just did it. And I realized, I no longer hate this person, I have forgiven them. Not forgotten, and not allowing them to be toxic to my life, just simply forgiven.
And it feels so damn good..like flying in the air..free.
Today, I have forgiven, and today..Iam a better person.

It's not necessarily spontaneous, it might be a process and will take a while.
What's the story then? You saw this person fall? Who is this person?

reply to post by AccessDenied


It's an amazing feeling isn't it?


Happy for you, keep on keep'n on.

reply to post by AccessDenied


I am proud of you, AD, for doing something amazing, in being able to forgive.

To forgive someone, anyone, for that matter, who has done wrong to you, is but one step and stage in becoming whole again, and I can see you are well on your way towards the amazing self-healing process.

I am sure you feel so much the better for it after having released that animosity towards that individual, it must feel like you are seeing the whole world through different eyes and almost as if you have a new soul, a rebirth.

I have been through many failed relationships, and I have been hurt, and each time I take a step back and look at what happened, figure out exactly what happened when, and the last step is to ultimately forgive that person, as well as understand I was not perfect, I made mistakes too, and I as well forgive myself for any unkind words, any unkind actions, and any unkind thoughts.

Peace be unto you, AccessDenied, you are a beautiful soul, as well as person.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/fd9bac5ca81f.jpg[/atsimg]


[edit on 26-9-2009 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

Originally posted by Jazzyguy

Originally posted by AccessDenied
It made me a horrible, bitter, mistrustful person.

You admit that?

Yesterday, upon learning this person was very down and out and in need of help...I gave it. I gave all I was able to give. I didn't think twice about it, I just did it. And I realized, I no longer hate this person, I have forgiven them. Not forgotten, and not allowing them to be toxic to my life, just simply forgiven.
And it feels so damn good..like flying in the air..free.
Today, I have forgiven, and today..Iam a better person.

It's not necessarily spontaneous, it might be a process and will take a while.
What's the story then? You saw this person fall? Who is this person?

I spoke vaguely for a reason. Those that know me well, know of whom I speak, as they have helped me through many a trying time. The particulars make no difference to anyone else.
It was a process, of time. But it was a spontaneous realization.

reply to post by AccessDenied


You know something, I envy this person you're speaking of, AD - the fact that you've forgiven them, that is.

There will be no forgiveness or redemption for me, ever.

Originally posted by ROTJ6
reply to post by AccessDenied

 

You know something, I envy this person you're speaking of, AD - the fact that you've forgiven them, that is.

There will be no forgiveness or redemption for me, ever.

Why do you say that? You never know. I thought my feelings would never change, ever. I expected to curse this person till my dying day or if they past before me, dance an Irish jigg on their grave and spit before walking away satisfied.

Congratulations, AD and thanks for sharing your story so eloquently!

Originally posted by wayno
Chances are the person you used to hate and who you now helped, will, once back on their feet, be completely unappreciative, and will likely do again whatever it is that they did to bug you in the first place.

If you forgive someone for their benefit, then you haven't really forgiven them. Forgiveness if for the benefit of the forgiver, as AD's post clearly illustrates.

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Why do you say that? You never know. I thought my feelings would never change, ever. I expected to curse this person till my dying day or if they past before me, dance an Irish jigg on their grave and spit before walking away satisfied.

Because, as you most likely are aware, AD, I am being actively gang-stalked. And the psychic attacks never, ever, ever, ever stop.

Death shall be my only release. And I'm sure all the legions of gangstalker minions and sock-puppet-identities probably will do a dance of joy and spit on my grave when that day finally comes, yeah?