A Heart in the Sand!

I want to share this story with all of you here..
As I have been blessed to find true love once more upon this earth!

Those of you who know me, understands the pain of loss I went through for 6 long years with the death of my wife..
I never thought I could ever love again.. And I want this short thread to be a light of hope for those of you who have lost someone very close to your heart..


I met Daniella 5 years ago, 1 year after I lost the love of my life, Naomi.. She was always a good friend to me, and always put a smile on my face..
But I was in no place to date anyone. However I could not deny the feelings we had when we where together.. While I could not deny them.. I truely did hide them, and we lost touch and did our own thing for 5 years... Until 3 weeks ago by a happen of chance I was cleaning out my room, and found her number tucked away in a folder..

Something told me to call her.. So I did.. We must have talked that night for about 3 hours straight on the phone.. Until I said, "Do you want to meet up with me on the beach tonight?"
I live close to clearwater beach.. A beautiful beach, and very romantic place to be at around night time.. It was 10 at night..
So I got in my truck and went to meet up with her..

We met at the peir, and started walking on the beach.. We kicked our shoes off and went foot deep into the warm Florida ocean.. Just having a great talk about our lives and where we have been...
As we walked about 1 mile down the beach a couple of birds flew right in front of us and landed.. We walked inland about 5 feet and tried to get a better look at the birds. They looked up at both of us and flew away.. Just then we both looked down to notice a LARGE heart drawn into the sand!! WE where standing right in the middle of this heart..
And something happened just then.. We both looked into eachothers eyes, and knew it to be true!! It was like magick to me.. We didnt even have to say anything we both felt it, and we both went in for the kiss...!
It was a kiss like no other I have had in my life.. Soft and sweet, I could taste her Cherry chapstick on my lips...
After that kiss we sat down in the middle of that heart drawn into the sand and we talked almost all night LONG!! Until we noticed the dark sky turning into colors of orange, and red.. The clouds where almost a purple color..
We knew in our hearts that the heart drawn into the sand was put there by some force unknown to both of us during the day.. But that night, it was there for us.. And just by chance those birds stopped us right there!! And thats when the magic happened..
Its rare and never happened to me ever before in my life.. Not even with Naomi..
So 3 weeks later we are still together and talking about moving in with eachother..
We are taking it slow and have not had physical sex yet..
Tho we have made love through our energies everyday we are together!!

True love is out there for all of us.. And its just by chance...

I wanted to share this with you all here.. To give you some hope.. Even after 6 long years of being alone.. I found someone who means alot to me.. And it happened so right, that the energy pouring out of me told me to share this with the world..

So that I could lift someones day.. Or just give someone out there hope!!!

There is a heart in the sand for everyone here!! You just have to know when to take it by the hand.. and always be honest with yourself!!!

AS the honesty we share is on a very deep level.. If you can find love.. Always, always be true with the one you care about... Truth is what brought us together, and truth is what will set us free..

We have both been burned in the past by people who leave out important parts of their lives until like 3-5 years down the line..

My love advice is this...
Tell those you care about everything that is wrong with you.. Tell them all the things that you hold to yourself.. No matter how hard that is.. It must be done..
As if you can tell a person all of that.. And they still like you and love you after all is said.. All of the good things about you is like a bonus!!

If two people can come together, and share their negtive baggage.. and get it out right away.. Then you can overcome anything!!

But the moment you keep something from someone.. Is the moment things will far apart!! Out with it all, and you will feel better, and you will find true love that way.
As love is part truth.. Love is part knowledge..
And each and everyone of us have that other person.. That will take us for who we are at the base roots..

As once I let go of Naomi.. and it took me 6 long years to finally let go.. Daniella showed up in my life, and was ready to take me for who I am. AT my base roots.
I beared my soul to her.. and it wasnt easy.. And make me feel a bit exposed...

Yet I think it was worth it.. As she knows what to expect from me.. Nothing to come up years down the road.. and be like.. Why didnt you tell me this when we started??

Many people don't tell others many things out of fear of losing them...
But if you don't tell them right away.. You will end up hurting them down the road.

And Im no love doctor, nor master of love.. But I do know what real love is.. And I learned from Naomi how to cherish love when you find it..

When you love someone.. its easy to take it for granted.. As in one moment it could be taken away and gone for good.
I was lucky to be given a chance to love again!!

I hope this helps someone out here.



[edit on 13-9-2009 by zysin5]

reply to post by zysin5


Zy you are one of the kindest souls I have come across ...

Perhaps it is fortune that the two of you have found each other or perhaps it's the just universe shining a light onto two deserving souls.

I can't tell you how happy this makes me on your behalf.

And thanks for sharing this wonderful story with us.

reply to post by zysin5


Hey Zy,

I want to thank you for posting this. I know it wasn't for me or anyone in particular, but it helps to know that the fight for happiness can be won.

When my girlfriend of 4 years left me I pretty much lost everything. It was days after I lost my job along with my beautiful home she was supposed to move into with me.

Anyway, I never thought the incredible start to our relationship could be re-imagined with someone else. It was too story-book fantasy. However, as I see from your account, sometimes circumstance is on our side, and will paint the picture for you.

I'm very happy for you, and I hope I can find the same kind of luck again someday.

Thanks to both of you from the bottom of my heart!!!
Im glad that sharing this can bring something positive to this place!

I write for her each day.. And manifest the love that I about to embark upon.
And I thank you SD, and Santa Clause!
And now I will share just one of my writtings with you all that I did for her..

In hopes that these words are send out into the universe and the universe hears me through your heads by reading my thoughts!

She walks the path that I have been down before.
She walks in my footsteps, that my feet have left behind.
She reminds me of myself in time once long past ago..
Tho in a different light, and a different clothes..
The hat she wears is not like my own..
But the path she walks, I want her to know shes not alone.
While she walks upon this earthly path..
She walks by herself, and herself alone..
Many walk past, and admire her soul.. Admire her beauty and will do anything to behold.
But she knows what she wants.. Yet not quite sure where she is going.
She knows where she wants to be.. But not quite sure how to get there..

The footsteps I left in the sand below..
Will in all hopes guide her home.

The path I walked is a lonely path indeed..
For 6 long years I have been alone..

And in one fell sweep, she picks me off my feet. And lifts my soul..
Showing me that I can contiune to go..
Going down my path I will meet her in the middle.
I will not hold her down, nor tell her how to live..
I will just be there when she wants me to appear..
From this mist is where I came.. And into the mist is where I will go..
For a short peroid of time, she must move on.

but the sands of time do not cover the foot steps I have left behind..

If she is true, and if she is of light.. She will look down and see the footsteps before her..
Like a light in the darkness.. Like crumbs on the ground.
They will guide her, they will show her that she doesnt have to be alone..

She only has to walk this lonely path for a short amount of time.
Before she catches up with me, on the path of time..
The heart is in the sand.. Where we will stand.
Meeting back up within that circle of light.
Within the circle of love..

She knows what my plight is.. And she ready to take it for what it is..

I will always be honest with her.. No matter how hard it is for me.
As the truth to the matter is that if I wasnt true.. Then the path I pick would crumble into the sea..
But the path I pick is one of truth.. And the voices tell me that if I am true and if I am honest.. Then the universe will bestow truth back upon me!

It might not be easy.. And Im sure it will be hard.. But love is forever, in physical form.
Love is infinte in the spiritual realm.

Even if my touch can not fall upon her head..
Even if my lips can not touch her hand..

She knows shes my goddess.. She knows shes the one.. Who I would spend the rest of my days under this sun...

I would not entrap her.. I would not guilt her.
She knows who I am.. She knows Im more than a man..
She has looked through my heart and see's all that I am..

Tho she has not had the chance to lay down the law.. She is learning that she is not the only one..

Who walks down the hermit path.. Who walks by themselfs..

Even if your alone.. Your never alone with me.
I will hold you in my heart..
And where ever you go.. I will be there..
Within your heart and within your head..

My physical body might not be there..
But my spiritual form will always be there..

For her to know deep in her heart.. For to feel me beyond the physical realm..

We met long ago, and it was just the start to something beauitful..
We met 2 weeks ago, and it was the start to something true...
We will meet up again to take it where it must go..

I will always be here.. Waiting upon the shore.
I will always be her friend, and I will always show her my soul..
I will always lend a hand.. As I know she wants more..
And it doesnt take money, and it doesnt take material goods..
As she is so far beyond that.. As its what I do know..
but for that feeling alone I know she is true.
And not a fake looking for material treasure.

I have a wealth of compassion.. And a horde of love.. I am one of the richest people upon this earth unknown..

She will bring so much out of me, if given the chance.. The chance she has already bestowed upon me, has given me much happyness!
But I know there is more..

Questions to be answered.. And doors to be opened.. Im happy she takes me for all that I am..
When at one time I felt so ruined.
And she told me it was okay...
While the whole time she had much more to say.

Shes worried about her health.. And rightfully so..
I want to be able to shed this.. So we can move on with our lifes..

I want to be healed.. So I can share my love without bars..
So I can share my love with no walls or barriers that would push us apart..

But until that time I will understand.. I made sertin choices that will haunt me, until I am healed..

When she walks down that lonely path.. I pray that she will take me for who I am..
That she will love me and save me..
hold me and not forsake me..


Not only will she save me.. I will have a big part in saving her..

I have something to teach her.. I have something to show her..

As part of her path lead me to me..

And Im starting to see... That her quest in this life is to see me as who I am..
Honest and truthfully take me by the hand..

And show me the kind of love that I can share with her in return..

Its never easy.. And most would run..
many would never even give me this chance..

To share this with her.. To love her and to share all that I am..
To teach her, to walk with her for the time I am given..

When that path is set, we can walk it, we can live it.. Until such is said..

I will love her and honor her for what ever choice is lead.. To what ever path we are taken.. Forever in our heads..

She can walk on the feathers of an angels wings.
I have come to share, I have come to teach..

I have come to learn.. share and love..

Will she be able to see that..
Or will she walk the other way..

The choice is hers.. And I manifest the way..

I manifest her love.. I manifest her choice.
But never will I force her..
Never will I abuse..
The power I am given.. Is hers and only hers.

Never would I cheat.. Never would I lie..
never would I sway, or give into fights..

I want to wait.. So its like magic..
I want to give her something she has never had.
So much I can give her.. And so much she can share..
So much she can do for me.. And not only in bed.
But beyond her body.. and into her mind..

I want to find a home.. And build it with her in mind!
I want to offer her something she has never had before..
But I must keep it silent until the right time.

I already have it.. And its already hers..
But if the timming isnt right, then it would come off the wrong way..
But I want her to know, that I am that one..

The one she has been looking for.. The one that will always be there..

The one who can meet her half way there...

So much still has to be done.. And Im willing to do the work.. IM willing to do what ever it takes..
To show her everything I say is the truth!

While I have not been true to all in my life.
I will always be true to her...

I want to heal, and I want to be saved..
There is so much more to say..

But I will leave it at that for this night..
Sometimes when you say to much, its like not saying enough..
So I pick my words, and share my feelings...
And know that she thinks its perfect timming!

Theres much more writting that I do for her.. But those are for her personally.. yet I feel more than comfortable sharing this little bit with my friends and folks here on BTS...

There is hope, and the fight for what is right, and the fight for love can overcome all!!

OMG! TY! SO Happy!
I was thinking of you yesterday!
We need to call/connect!!!!
Miss you!
This is SO special!
Love, light and hugs..always my dear friend..
AD

That was a beautiful thread and really put tears to my eyes. And it did give me home one day maybe I can find true love also. Im so happy for you, and very sorry to hear about your wife, but im sure she's looking down on you everyday, proud of you.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Thanks AD!! yeah we should sertinly catch up.. Its been some time my friend!
Things are going well over this way.. Sending lots of love and light your way!!
We will talk soon!

And also thanks Jess!!! There is hope, and that is what I wanted to protray here.. And also to share the love I have in my heart for Daniella. As I would proclaim that to the world!!

Many thanks and love!

Edit-- Im going to talk to Daniella about starting an account on here.. She is already on the up and up, on all things ATS!! I was amazed at how our frequencies where totally the same!!
We have the same thoughts, and think the same things!!! All the conspiracies I have been reading over the years are all the same things she has researched too!!
As I said in my OP.. The truth is what we set us free.. And now I have someone to talk about the ways of the world with!
Someone to discuss all my crazy thoughts.. And to her they are not all that crazy!
She is the first woman I met in my real life that has so much knowledge about the occult, UFO's and illuminati conspiarcy theories..
In fact she even taught me a few things I didn't know!! And I was taken back and returned that energy to her.. As we are both teachers, and students meeting up half way upon our journey..
Very romantic, and very becomming of me..


I have been manifesting this for a very long time.. And now I have it... Just by thinking it.. I always wanted a woman to understand me on a deeper level.. And now that I have gained my manifestation.. I will share it with the world.. and let you all meet her..
Shes my best friend, and true to my heart!

www.youtube.com...

[edit on 14-9-2009 by zysin5]

Wow this was a beautiful post written with obvious love! It brought tears to my eyes. I truly believe in fate. It will find you! Congrats to you both and best wishes.

reply to post by zysin5


I have known you for a while now, we have shared much and I know if anyone deserves this it is you my friend, my very sweet dear friend that I love.

Good luck Ty in love and in life. Hold on do not let this go. Love will set you free.

Yours in gratitude,

MG xxxxxx

reply to post by mblahnikluver


A warm heart felt thank you!! I must admit when going back over this post, after reading the replies it made me get choked up!! All of this wonderful energy comming back at me has really made my day!!
I showed this to Daniella and she told me, "You have no idea what you just did for the universe Ty, I love you so much."
I melted into the ground, and I know nothing is perfect, and every relationship has its ups and downs.. I am just content with knowing I'm on a very high up, and I'm going to cherish these feelings I'm feeling right now!!

-------------Mr. Green,
Your welcome my wonderful friend!! You have been through so much in our time together online! And you have grown in leaps and bounds, and I'm very proud of you and happy with the way things have worked out..

I'm also very happy you could come into this thread here and find the strenght to make such a sweet and wonderful comment..

I honestly couldn't ask for better friends on here whom I have never met in person.. But I know in my heart that those that I have found on here will always be a part of my heart, and a part of my life..

This site is a very rare place indeed.. Most the time I go about my time online, and don't pay much mind to the people I come across..
Sure I'm always open to help those who come across my path.. But I have made a real difference in peoples lives on here.. And Vise Versa..
its all part of the universes plan!!

Let me share with you all another writting I did for her.


Every time I look into your eyes.
I see a reflection of my life days past.
When I look into the mirror.
I see your heart shinning through.

When I think of the days that have already past.
I know in my heart that those days where some of the days that where the best of my life!
When I think of the days that are to come,
I am overjoyed with the knowledge that the universe has sent you into my path.

When we walk upon the beach the moon smiles upon us..
When we walk within the park.. The trees sway with compassion.

Nature knows that we have no bounds.
The wind the earth, is part of our playground.

There is no place we can not go.
There is no person that would not know.. The love we share is true!

The truths to this world is ever so hard to find. While one person locked with the matrix will try to tell lies..
the truth to you and I are clear to see!

There is no mystry.. The clues are there to see.. The love the passion the energy is running free!
Like a waterfall that flows forever more..

There is the door, and we are the key..
We pass through time, and we pass through space.
Nothing shall stand in our way..

We are like mountains.. We are like trees..
We are the wind, water, air and fire!

My love meets you half way.. There is nothing else I could say..
But you are free to do what you wish..
But you will always desire my kiss!

For where ever the universe takes us..
Where ever life leads us..

I will always be close to your heart..

My love I love you with all my being..
And that holds no bounds..

And what loves is always true..
As love is the only truth in this world!

For Daniella



[edit on 14-9-2009 by zysin5]

Hey - beautiful post, my friend - thanks for sharing it. It gives a little bit of warmth and hope to some of us who have had a bad time of it recently, like myself and one of the previous posters. It really did - It gave me a little boost just by reading it. Do you think it's fate then? Do you believe some things are 'meant to be'?

Thanks again.

Music is a big part of our lives. We resonate on the same frequency so much when it comes to music..
Just by chance this is the song that came on the radio when I was driving home that night.. And they rarely ever play this song...

Have you ever had those nights when you turn on the radio the song that comes on just feels so right? Like they where playing it just for you?

"Sabbra Cadabra"

Feel so good I feel so fine
Love that little lady always on my mind
Gives me lovin' every night and day
Never gonna leave her, never goin' away

Someone to love me
You know she makes me feel alright
Someone who needs me
Love me every single night

Feel so happy since I met that girl
When we're making love it's something out of this world

Feels so good to know that she's all mine
Going to love that woman 'til the end of time

Someone to live for
Love me 'til the end of time
Makes me feel happy
Good to know that she's all mine

Lovely lady make love all night long
Lovely lady never do me wrong
I don't wanna leave ya
I never wanna leave ya,
anymore no more
Lovely lady, mystifying eyes
Lovely lady, she don't tell me no lies
I know I'll never leave ya
I'm never gonna leave ya anymore no more

I think this song is one of the songs that will be our song... Its an oldie..
But I love this kind of music and so does she..
Not to mention she is a wonderful singer, and has had many chances to do music professionally.. But timing is key when going into the music Biz.. I want to be there by her side, when she does pursue music..
As most of you know.. I have been in bands, and music is a BIG part of my life..
Just the other night on the phone I was playing my guitar for her and I was singing to her..
I just love how I can be so romantic with her, and she totally loves it!!!

I would sing to her, and write her poems, send her flowers, and leave little love notes in her purse and slip them into her pockets
I'm happy I can just be me.. And she knows that I have embraced that female side of myself, and am not shy to show that side of me to her, or the world for that matter..
Its who I am.. I am a man who has many female qualities..

reply to post by zysin5


Yes I KNOW exactly what you mean. I believe its the universe trying to tell me something or follow my heart. I have been having a lot of strange "signs" as I call them going on lately in regards to my relationship. I dont know quite yet what to do with them but the universe is trying to tell me something or guide me. I shall soon find out again another beautiful letter. Amazing! She is very luck to have someone like you.

Originally posted by Millions

Hey - beautiful post, my friend - thanks for sharing it. It gives a little bit of warmth and hope to some of us who have had a bad time of it recently, like myself and one of the previous posters. It really did - It gave me a little boost just by reading it. Do you think it's fate then? Do you believe some things are 'meant to be'?

Thanks again.

No thank you Millions.. I'm just doing what I do.. and showing my true self here.. Its how I am, and its what I am...
I do send love and light out to the universe, in hopes things change for you in your life...
I'm glad it could give you a boost!! We get out what we put into the universe.

I do really think its fate... AS how everything just played out.. It just all fell into place so well for me this time around...
While I feel free will is a big factor.. I just know deep in my heart that it was the universes plan for this to happen..
So call it fate, luck, or whatever you will.. It is what it is.. and I'm happy with that

Yes I greatly feel.. Some things are totally meant to be!!!

Love and light!
Tyson AKA Zysin5

Daniella and I are getting ready to go out tonight.. We are not much into the clubs or bars.. We are going to hit the beach this evening, and take us back to where it all started..
Then we will stop at Ihop (I hate old people!) For some Tea and Pie!

I just wanted to again thank everyone who stopped in here from the bottom of my heart! I'm glad I could make a small effect on your day, or evening!

I'm learning so much about life with Daniella, she is my friend, my teacher, my peer and my student! She is my lover under the covers, my dancing wild wind on the brink of the night. My ever flowing breeze in the cool mornings dawn!

A picture can speak a thousand words! So here is a picture of Daniella for the world to bask in her beauty.. I for one feel like the lucky one here.





I have talked her into setting up an account on here.. She will be able to jump right into the waters.. She knows so much of the worlds conspiracy theories that we can talk all night about such things.
We watch countless youtube videos, and she has taught me so much about the Black alliance and their game.

For so long I stated that I would not play into their game.. And the whole time when you do not play they steal your moves.
In this game that is life.. I have always had money issues, and problems with money.. I have always claimed money is evil.
She taught me one thing that is still heavy on my mind.. Its not the money that is evil.. Its the context to what money is that makes it evil.

We can do some very beautiful and lovely things with money.. And do much good! For so long I have fought verse having money, as I felt it would affect me in a very negative way..
Yet she has shown me the good that can come out of standing in my own power, and standing in abundance.
Yes its time that I shine, and its time I start playing the game..
All along they have been fooling me into not playing the game.

And now I have the power of love to stand with me.. No evil in this world can overcome what love truly is!
No longer will the powers that be hold me down, and control my thought process.
I have been on this path since 1998, and now I am learning why my thoughts lead me into conspiracy theories, and thinking without thought control.. Its all been leading up to me learning the truth about this world.
My own personal truths.. Which we all must come to terms with at some point..
Daniella and I are going into this together, and hope to open more minds together, as a team, I think we will have much success!!

Thanks again everyone!!!

Here is another writing I did for her, if you desire reading it..
But I mostly am just putting this out here for the universe to see..

here are some of my thoughts to you my love

Standing there in outerspace, lost and found without a place...From the time I met you, from the time we kissed, thats when I felt like things really fit..

for the first time In my life, I was happy, and very content, but there was a mist, and then there was a fog, I lost my steps and lost my way, what else could I say, but I grabbed for you hand and it was there.

It was there and you grabbed me out of despare, and to look around and see the mist clear, but fogs so dense that their was no air, nothing to breathe the walls close in, but with our powers, the walls will crumble into the sea, and the fog will clear out as far as we can see.

Into the great blue open, the sea is ours, for what ever time we may be given, lets take that time and make it worth the time we spend here on this planet...

Baby I love you more than the sea, more than words alone could ever say, look into me, I allow you in my heart and into my head, with all of that said, you know that Im always right there by your side.

Looking at the pages of my life Faded memories of me and you. Mistakes you know I've made a few. I took some shots and fell from time to time Baby, you were there to pull me through. We've been around the block a time or two, I'm gonna lay it on the line Ask me how we've come this far.

The answer's written in my eyes Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time.
When I look at what my life's been comin' to I'm all about lovin' you.

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby We've been to hell and back again Through it all you're always my best friend For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do. I love you!

Ty
Aka Zysin5

Daniella showed me this guys youtube page, and now I am sharing it with you all here.. Very profound stuff here..

Rysa5's Youtube page.. Great stuff IMO!

Edit--Repairing lines, spelling. ect.

[edit on 18-9-2009 by zysin5]

WOW. Lucky man. She is stunning.

I take stories like this as a sign in my life to keep the faith in relationships. Yes, there are often "heartbreak" stories on this board, but this will make up for 10 of them in my mind. Good for you bud.

Another really awesome reply recently was MopusVindictus about how much fun being single can actually be. That also did a lot for me. So I guess I'll take his advice and enjoy being set free, and at the same time remember to be hopeful for a story like yours eventually.

Haha, don't let her on the boards now! All the guys know what she looks like!

I kid, of course. We need some more good minds on the board.

Originally posted by SantaClaus
I take stories like this as a sign in my life to keep the faith in relationships. Yes, there are often "heartbreak" stories on this board, but this will make up for 10 of them in my mind. Good for you bud.

Thanks Brother! Its been a couple months since I have had any time to come and check on some of my threads!
So I wanted to come in and share a couple things in hopes that I can inspire you and others to keep that faith in love!
Sure "heartbreak" is always going to play a role in any love story. Its just the way the cookie crumbles. However it does not always have to be that way.
Love is what you make it my friends.
I want to share with you some small bit, out of a book I am currently working on with Daniella's help. She has inspired me to take up the pen and start writing the book I have been talking about writing for many years now.

So here we are.. Chapter 3 of my book that has no name yet.. But the chapters title is Love and Fear, and the fear of love.

We as humans go about our days, and some of us are lucky enough to find love. Yet all of us when it comes to fear, have something we hold deep inside of us that makes us cringe at some thoughts. What ever that might be connects us all on a deeper level that many are totally unaware of. While many of us are connected upon the plane of love. When one person loves another person, so many emotions are shared through that love. Be it happiness or sadness, love really does encompass so many emotions. It connects all other emotions into one open feeling that love itself is like white, or black. Not truly a color, but the absence of all color, or the binding of all color known to our minds. Can you picture a color that is outside the color wheel? When you find someone you think you love, ask them what color is love to them. Its different for each person, and the color you feel love is will directly relate to how you see love on a personal level.
What would that color look like to you? Its hard to picture a color that is not on the color wheel, as our minds are programed in such a way.
Love is much like that color wheel. Love can be so much more than we truly know. Yet all we know is what we are programed to see or know.
Love can be either black or white to the person. Its up to you to label it as such for your own personal feeling about love. Yet love is not just black and white in the sense of saying black and white.. It can be so much more, and so much less! Its a personal truth, to each person.
Each person must have been either here or there to find their own understanding of love. Its important to note here, that love is the only truth to all emotions, and all others stem from love. Yes even hate stems from love, as its a polar extreme of itself. And fear is like the shadow of love. Always looming, and always there if you allow it to be there. And putting it in writing is so much easier than putting it to work in ones life. A personal bit about myself and what I learned about love and fear, and the fear of love.
I once loved a beautiful soul, not bound by the rules of society. I loved another person in a very deep manner. I loved her so much that I thought I knew what love was at that time. I thought that love was putting the other person before you in all accounts. I felt that love was a personal sacrifice, as I went through so much pain when I was in love, that I forgot all about myself, and the love I should be showing myself.

So instead of loving myself, I focused all of my love upon her. And that is when my main fear kicked in.. What would happen to me if I lost her? The fear I manifested became my worst nightmare in this world. The fear of loss, the fear of losing someone I loved with all my heart!

It only took 6 years of manifesting that fear for it to become my reality. She was killed, and I did loss her from my life. And I was crushed, and I almost didn't want to go on living in this world without her. I shunned everything and everyone who walked into my path, out of the fear I feared. Fear took over my life, and filled my heart with only fear. The love was lost, and fear filled my heart where love should have been.
Hine-sight is always 20/20, looking back on that now where I stand. And it took me a long long time to come to this point where I just love myself, and forgive myself for manifesting fear.
If you fill your heart with fear of loss, or fear of love, you will only manifest these things.

And again its easy to write about it, or easy to type about it on paper.. Doing it, and living it is another thing. And can only be done if a person is truly there, and ready to live it. You can not be told how, or shown how. Its either there or its not there. No one can tell you how to feel, or how to love. But when you think about it, how many can show you fear? How many outside sources can affect how and what you fear?

Many!! We are bombarded by this fact everyday in our lives! Fear is the leading factor in many governments agenda's, marketing ploys and manipulations.. Fear is an illusion, a mere shadow of the truth! And we as people have many different ways we find love. And I express and hope that all those who read my words can feel the love I share for myself, and want to love themselves! I will spare you the cleeshay of love, we know them all to well.

You will either love, or you will either fear love.
And when speaking of this subject I must be very careful of how I say, and what I do say..

So many people have so many different ideas about love and fear that I want to be sure I don't try to come off like my word is all there is to this.
But my place has come where I must share what and where I have been with love. I hope that my words can inspire and help you with what you are working through.

I am currently working on the color wheel of love. That will express Daniella's and I ideas of what colors means what to us. However this will allow you the reader to forge your own color wheel of love, and what those colors mean to you and your partner. It could be a fun thing to do while sitting in the park or upon the beach. Ask your partner, what colors express what feelings. But keep these colors private until you both decide upon what colors you use to express love, and then share share their meanings with each other. You will learn much about a person and their feelings of love via color, and maybe discover colors that currently are not shown on the range of the human perception color wheel.

Still working on this chapter, as its one of the hardest ones I am currently working through. It might end up as a later chapter, as I will be adding to this, and I will be taking thoughts of YOU on here to improve upon my thoughts and book that I am going to complete!

Peace
Zy5

Well everyone! I Thank you SO much for all your kind words and support during this wonderful run with Daniella!
We have decided to to go our own seperate ways in life. WE are still very close friends, and bedroom buddies.
But as far as getting really serious, its just not going to happen.

Am I sad? Well not really.. Sometimes adults can understand things just drift apart, and before things start going down hill, we cut it off before we get to the point where we start getting on eachothers nerves! heh

And for me thats wonderful!!! Most people go through their relationships and cling on to eachother for so many reasons. Fear of being alone, Fear they won't find someone down the road.. Many reasons you name it..
And they hang out together, and slowly they wear on eachothers nerves, and BAM, before you know it, you hate eachothers guts, and never speak again!

I will not allow this to happen in my life anymore.. I know enough to understand when the time comes to call it on..
Its better that way for many reasons.. And thats my advice to other people who are with others..

If you feel things are not going as strong as they once where.. Call it off, take a few steps back, and remain friends!
I know its hard, and most folks just can not do this.. They have their reasons. And if thats the case, so be it.

I just know in my little world, I have been thro all the ups and and all the downs a human being can go through!

I have learned to be honest with myself, and then by being honest with myself, I can inturn be honest with those I am with..
Granted.. Yeah there are those little white lies, we all tell from time to time.
Its just To many little white lies can build up, and build up and become a real issue..
If you really do care about someone.. You will do just this...

If you love them, let them go.. If they love you back, they will come back in their own time.
You just can't hold on too tight..
1. Being clingy is a dangerous game..
2.Being dependant on another person can lead to depression when you lose them.


So with that said.. I just wanted you all to know, just because we are no longer a couple, I so much enjoyed the time I was given with her!
It was a true gift! And it was an honor to be able to exp all that I got to exp with her!
WOW what a ride!!! But like all rides, they come to an end..
And I have learned another great life lesson here..

Part ways before things get out of control.. That way you have control.. And in this world, we have control over so very few things..
Its nice to be able to know.. I can always find a friend with her.. Its good to know we will be here for eachother if the mood comes up..

And its GREAT to know, I don't feel trapped or obligated to one woman, when that true romantic spark is no longer there...

Life is funny, and people are fickle! But atleast I am aware of these things, and I was not crushed, or heart broken!
Thats the worse! Being heartbroken, and feeling like you have been dumped, or having to dump someone else, the guilt and all that.. Its for the birds!

Zy5

Hello friends......

I did not want to start a whole new thread.. I honestly do not think I have many more threads left in these old fingers of mine... First it was Naomi... Then I get so #ing lucky and I find this one.. My D!

Well things got serious, and we moved into a place, and I got my job doing DME for the medical place.. We had a nice easy going time.. We both worked, and had a car.. Building back up that normal life again.
Then on the 3rd of July I get a phone call to my cell while I am out with my friend Chris.. Who just so happened to be there the day my mom and sisters came to the house to tell me that Naomi died...
D's Mom told me to sit down.. And I knew it just then.. D was dead.. and she is not coming back either..

Oh #... I feel so numb .. and I almost feel bad that I can not write a full thread on this.. But I read this thread.. and I am balling my #ing eyes out!!!!!!! You that know me on here know that I did not want to start to fall in love again..

I am thinking back on my Karma from a past life.. I think I am paying past due Karma from another life..
Maybe I was a warrior in my past life, and killed many women's husbands causing them this GREAT pain I feel..

And now, the universe is doing what it does best... Humble US.. and make us understand there is something so much greater than our self's.

Maybe give me some time.. I will come back and write more and be in a little more together.. I think I might have cussed in this thread if so.. Please keep in mind what I am going through.. expression is something I will stand for.. You all know I am not some kid, looking to get a kick out of things, but this is how adult speak with his or her peers...

Love you all.. and thanks for being Cool Strangers.. And giving me 1% reason more to live!

reply to post by zysin5

We must all wake from our dreams eventually. In time we will all become awakened ones.

But I kind of know what your saying dude, but kind of not. Ah the ups and downs of life are many, but from what I gather form this short thread, this D that died is the person in question that this whole thread started over right?

In which case, that must suck even if you two have not been together for a while.

But like I said we all wake from the dream eventually.

And I have been awake a long time bro, and know that its all just dreams that all fade into the aether with time when there time has come.

Were they come from is were they return to. The stuff that dreams are made of is like the sand running through your fingers when you pick up a handful of sand from the beach, next to the sea of life.

Just dust in the wind we are. You put your heart in the sand, do not be surprised that when the tide comes in, that its washed away into the sea.