Was this a spirit/dream guide?

First and foremost I need to offer a few disclaimers about myself.

I'm 25. I have a pretty open mind when it comes to a lot of things. Life, spirituatily, God (or the concept of God etc..). I wouldn't say I'm the type that that believes in everything occult or paranormal but I won't discredit a lot of what I come across.

Anyways, earlier this year I began to do a lot of reading and too much thought about what I was doing in life. I guess I was just unhappy with a lot of what was happening to me. More importantly though was the fact that I was dissapointed in myself in choices I had made or how I had reacted to certain situations in the past. With that in mind it bothered me the most that I was starting to feel regret and anger towards my own choices. Its a lot easier to blame an outside influence or something uncontrollable that happens to you. But when it comes to realizing that in cases it wasn't anything outside, but it was actually me that wronged it got harder to cope with.

Anyways after all that reflection I decided that it was about time I set myself straight. I got into studying myself more than I ever had before. I never really got into deep meditation but I did use light meditation to contemplate. I set goals, the first of which was to identify what I didn't like about myself. The next step was to affirm to myself to fix what I didn't like. After identifying the greater flaws I believed myself to posess and start cleansing them I made sure to understand that I was always going to have flaws. The attempts I was making to fix them worked in some areas but in others they did not. I was still beating myself up over mistakes and failures, big and small. This is where my reading came in regards to finding one's self. Once I learned to forgive myself, and actually accept that I'm going to screwup, I started to feel better. I have a really hard time putting into words how it took me 25 years to build my own self-confidence. (not the layer of confidence I always hid behind around others -- the actual true self down low). The benefits were enormous for me. While it isn't a cure-all, I definitely eased some depression, anxiety and anger in my life. I also want to aplogize if this isnt making 100% sense or if I start writing in eccentric tangents, thats another flaw I have. There's 1000 thoughts and emotions flying through my head while writing this, and getting them all into words just isn't going to happen.

Anyways, to the actual topic:

So here I am a few months after my self-discovery started. Things are still going well, I learn something new everyday. I'm still reading and researching everything I can. Luckily my career has landed me in a job where all I really have is time alone in an office with unrestricted internet access. Defintely helps when you want to do some hardcore research on a single topic
I've struggled with sleep problems the last several years. It's just actually falling asleep that is the big one for me. That was another benefit of my self-learning research. Learning to control my thoughts so by the time I hit the sack I could lay there and not continue to let my mind go a million miles a minute. (and thus be awake for the next 3 hours after getting into bed)
For some more background, I have had lucid dreams before. When I was intent on lucid dreaming I could do it. Rationality worked the best for me as well as constantly checking a clock during the day.
But what happened the other nite was possibly the coolest dream I've ever had, so much so it's enspiring me to post here as well as opening up 20million questions more.

The day was pretty much like everyother work day for me. Got off work @ 530 ( I work IT btw), went home, took down some dinner. I do car work on the side (mostly for family friends and co-workers) so I tend to work even after I get off work. I figured out why the alignment shop was having issues with car (and was very happy at this since it had been on my mind for 2 weeks previous). I showered, played my guitar for a few and I was worn out so I decided to get some sleep.

I need to make clear this didn't seem like a lucid dream. I don't remember having direct control. There's several parts I don't remember 100% but what I do remember is the emotions that passed over me. The first portion of this dream is a pillar of light coming from the sky. I thought it was alien in nature. I was very frightened at the start. That however quickly changed. I dont remember the transition from the light but the next thing I know is I'm sitting on my parent's front porch talking to this person. I have never seen this person's face before. Age looks to be 25-30, close to me. The emotions running through me during this part of the dream are of excitement, joy and happiness (and quite possibly love too). Apparently I knew this person wasn't like me or anyone else. I don't know to call him alien, celestial or a spirit but he was different. He was very nice and I felt safe. As we were sitting on the porch drinking canned beer (not my favorite choice btw) I was asking questions left and right. Important questions. Questions about myself, about life, exisistence and the meanings of my surrondings. I was getting answers (I wish I could remember what I asked and what I was answered with)! What's funny is the answers weren't spoken; it was like the thoughts and answers were being laid out to me in a way that I just understood that didn't need to speak. I know I went a few places and was shown at least one thing I remember (something music related). I felt absolutely great just being there. But right before I woke up the being I was talking to said it was time to go. I remember me feeling very greatful but very sad it was leaving and wanting it to stay badly. The last thing I remember of the dream was a smile and then it dissolved into light and shot upward.

I have a hard time verbalizing the dream. Just writing here at the end almost makes me tear up. Is this the possiblity of a dream or spirit guide I've read about? I would love to have this happen again but I'm almost scared to call out into the unknown because I don't even know what the hell, even if "it" was real, real outside or just something my mind projected? I don't even know what to think. There's defintely a part of me that wants this to be something special, but in reality I'm aware that might not the be the case, and it could have been a random dream.

What do you think? Comments appreciated!

Nicely dreamt, and great to hear that you have been taking up self-study, and getting benefit from it.

Answers to a few questions may help.

Are you a man, or are you a woman?

You mentioned lucidity, but then discussed control. Were you aware during the dream that you were dreaming? That is, regardless of whether you were controlling the action, were you aware that it was a dream?

You say that the character "looks to be" about your own age. Did you think he was really a different age from how he appeared?

There are many kinds of love. When you said you felt "quite possibly love, too," which kind of love did you mean?

I think the following section is important to spell out in more detail:

I know I went a few places and was shown at least one thing I remember (something music related).

Where did you go? How did you get there? Who chose where you went? Did he go to these places with you, or send you there, or ...? Did he show you the thing you remember? Where was it when it was shown it to you? What was it?

[edit on 11-9-2009 by eight bits]

Perhaps through your journeys of self-discovery you've just become more in-tune with yourself, and simply was your 'higher self' manifesting and giving you the boost you needed ? something like that maybe. .

Originally posted by eight bits
Nicely dreamt, and great to hear that you have been taking up self-study, and getting benefit from it.

Answers to a few questions may help.

Are you a man, or are you a woman?

You mentioned lucidity, but then discussed control. Were you aware during the dream that you were dreaming? That is, regardless of whether you were controlling the action, were you aware that it was a dream?

You say that the character "looks to be" about your own age. Did you think he was really a different age from how he appeared?

There are many kinds of love. When you said you felt "quite possibly love, too," which kind of love did you mean?

I think the following section is important to spell out in more detail:

I know I went a few places and was shown at least one thing I remember (something music related).

Where did you go? How did you get there? Who chose where you went? Did he go to these places with you, or send you there, or ...? Did he show you the thing you remember? Where was it when it was shown it to you? What was it?

[edit on 11-9-2009 by eight bits]

Thanks for the response.

I am a man.

I'm sorry for the confusion, I equate control with lucidity since I have that ability. I was NOT aware this was a dream.

It wasn't that I thought he was a different age, I knew it wasn't a human like me.

When I say love I am trying to equate all the emotions I was feeling at the time. I would say more of a caring type love here. Happiness too.

This is the part that bothers me the most, I cant exactly remember where we went or what was said. The biggest part of the dream I recall is just the emotions I felt conversing with whatever this was. From what I can recall where we went there was a lot of people, crowded. I mean crowded almost like a concert. It was outside but I don't know the details of the surroundings, they aren't coming to me. I know we also went somewhere else now that i've sat here and thought about it but I cant provide more detail. I don't remember how we got there. I wish I could explain in more detail but the imagery I'm trying to recall is very cloudy. What I can pick out was music, I remember seeing someone playing a guitar. That's all I can recall from that trip, the next thing I remember is being back with it sitting on the porch asking 20million things I cant remember. I know the questions I were asking were related to my existence and how I was going about my life, choices I were making and just philisophical topics (religion etc..). I sincerely wish I could remember exactly what I asked and exactly what I received. Then it conveyed to me it was time to leave. I do remember it not wanting to go very badly but being very thankful at the same time and very very happy, like I had every question or thought about life answered. And with a smile on his face his body just dissolved into light and I was filled with sadness that he left. This entire dream was a first person perspective for me, as I have had dreams about myself in the 3rd person before.

Originally posted by n1zzzn
What's funny is the answers weren't spoken; it was like the thoughts and answers were being laid out to me in a way that I just understood that didn't need to speak.

That would be an angel. It is a totaly different way of communicating, yet so basic and natural. There are many types of spirits you can encounter, but what you described is very unique, and when you reach the point you have it is not at all unheard of to have a visit. As for not remembering your answers.....your subconcious remembers and that is what is important. It is a beautiful exchange that you will remember always and have a longing for, forever. There is such an emence love with them, it makes reality almost painfull.

You know what you saw. Embrace that and be thankfull. Own it, know it for what it was. To deny it is no less hurtfull to that blessed one than spitting in its beautifull face.

Love and respect
mrsd


[edit on 11-9-2009 by mrsdudara]

[edit on 11-9-2009 by mrsdudara]

[edit on 11-9-2009 by mrsdudara]

Hello n1zzzn,

First and foremost I want to thank you for posting your story, on top of being an interesting story in itself it also offered myself personal insight. That being said I will share a story of my own that your post brought me back to.

I am 22, ironically enough I also work in IT. Light and deep meditation are things I practice commonly now but way before that I was always interested in dreams and their symbolism because of my own vivid experiences with them. But to get to the point, I kept a journal of my dreams I found significant and would write out all the likely or possible symbolic traits I happend upon and this is the one I found most relevant:

To make a long dream short, I drove up into a town where quite a few of my friends were and I saw that they were all reading a large tabloid. To my surprise, the tabloid had me all over it and basically trashed every public and private quality about me. To this effect, exerpts were printed all around the town's walls.

I went home and into my room to contemplate this, when I heard a knock followed by a young man seemingly by appearance close to my age. Ultimately, he wore similar clothes to my own, had a very similar build of body and essentially was very like myself. When he came in, I was overcome with a sense of safety and peace. Asking who he was he replied, "Oh, i'm just someone who read the tabloid going around and thought I would drop in to let you know they are all wrong.".

From there on the dream stretched on for hours it seems like of him and I having one of the most inspiring..important..hard to pick the word really but it was an essential conversation that I know covered many topics from religion, politics, ultimate purpose, all sorts of things but I can't recall what was actually said just the feelings that were provoked from them. In the dream it just felt like a really enlightening experience and in the time I had with the man I felt like I found one of the best friends I could ever have. Like you said, it really is hard to put into words.

But besides a few irrelevant details the dream ended and I logged the dream and disected it. Being Christian, given the vividity and feelings provoked I of course considered the possibility of this being an angel or guardian angel of sorts. Another considered the possibility of the dream being a representation from my subconscious mind to not fall prey to the thoughts and opinions of others. When I began to study meditation, I learned of the concept of your "higher self" and how they can come to guide and help you. For me at least, these are all plausible possibilities. Sorry for the lengthy post but I just wanted you to know someone was out there with a similar experience.

Thank you for your answers. I had a confusing weekend, so I am sorry that I didn't get right back to you.

In reply to someone else's dream recently, I mentioned that identifying dream motifs and stock dream characters is like fingerprint identification. You need a fair number of "points of similarity" to establish a match. That's hard to do if what you have is a partial fingerprint, or carrying the analogy over to dreams, a partially remembered dream.

Everything you do remember about the dream is consistent with the character being a representative of the unconscious contents of your mind. The most commonly discussed stock characters or archetypes who play this role have names like the Anima and the Shadow, both searchable.

Your visitor is, however, the wrong gender for the Anima stock character, although he shares her typically friendly demeanor. But your character sure acts like a representative of the unconscious contents. He knows things you (the waking you, the dream character "you") don't know, he wants to share what he knows with you, he takes you places and shows you things. There is a hint of power that you don't have, too.

If he was a girl, we'd have a match. Different planet of origin = different gender? Maybe, but I can't say that I know any such thing to be true.

But to answer the question in the thread title, "dream guide" might be as good a name as any for the psychological role that such a character aspires to play.

You might want to search "shadow work" Jung. Yes, I know, he's not the Shadow. But the name is a compromise. Maybe it should be called "representative-of-the-unconscious-contents-of-your-mind work." Well, maybe its just as well it's called what it's called .

I think you'll find that a lot of shadow work is similar to the kind of thinking and exploration that you're doing anyway. Maybe looking at your own work from a slightly different angle will help you out, or put you in touch with a different community with broadly similar goals to yours.

Hope that is of some help to you.

I may get reamed but it sounds like an angel to me. Grats btw, not many people get to meet one.

Thanks for the responses.

It's very comforting to find another with a very similar dream. Helps me think I may not be insane

Whats funny, you know, is that I don't even know what an angel is.

Throwing it out there I was born Christain and believe in God. But I think I would be labled a Catholic heretic because I'm really up in the air on what God even is. To keep this short I believe God could be the Bible God, could be a being not from here, could be a projection of the true self or 213123 different things lol. I dont discredit that God exists and is good. I just can't even come close to defining what the hell I believe. But that makes it difficult to define what I believe an angel to be. If I can't define I can't define the other.

There is no question to me that there is something there though (God) - whether its inside of me or on the outside -i I'd stake my life on it.

Sidenote: if this was me, or my subconscious self or whatever, I wish he'd come around more. I defintely need to chat with this being more. If it is indeed me I kinda look good with the whole glowing light motif

I understand what you are saying perfectly. To be honest, all I know to be true is what I have seen and delt with personally. I call what you met an angel. Not some entity that flies around playing the harp. I dont know their details like who they work for, etc. But what you describe is my definition of angel.

From my perspective you met your Higher-Self (Main Guide) in dream.

Not to be confused with new-agey type concepts on guides, but the Higher-Self is the one and only Guide you will need. All others are merely Helpers.

Never believing in angels myself I was surprised a few years back when working with a client (I'm a professional psychic/medium) to have a tall streak of white light appear in the room with a very nice feel to it.

It showed some aspects of itself, which I saw as an energetic offering for our understanding. The area where biblical angels have wings was actually just the shape of the energy of these beings. Each will provide something for us to recognise its Intent.

On my website you will find simplified methods I used and have been teaching now for over 10 years. They work very well for anyone who accepts that their experiences point directions for further exploration.

The aim of these methods is for people to make direct contact with their Higher-self and begin the process of Awakening to their own higher awareness.

This is the Teacher Within You. Once you are easily connecting at will you won't need a physical human teacher or a "Teacher".. you know the types, dressed in purple, draped in Gold, living the Lifestyle and sounding all knowing with the use of new-age-speak mumbo jumbo.

Linky.. Simply-Spirit

Tayesin, I agree that could be a possability. They do come off quite similar, but when I met myself, I had no doubt who it was. They were similar only in the way they communicated with me, but I figure that is how one soul speaks to another with out the barriers of a body. Once I figured out how and fully acknowledged it, I spoke to many. Im not saying it was an angel because of the whole light point. It was what he absorbed from him. But the op is the only one who will know for sure who it was. I do hope he gets to meet his higher self. Im sure he will soon.

Also, you are so right about being your own teacher. You really can not and quite frankly should not learn from anyone else. Especially those speaking that new-age-mumbo jumbo .

Trust yourself. No one knows what happened better than you do.