The death of my son

First of all, I would like to say hello to everyone on this site. This is my first thread, so please bare with me. My name is Ben, and on 08-31-2009 I found my son Jay dead, lying face down on the floor of a drug overdose. He was the apple of my eye and on that day a part of me died . The pain is unbearable, and I dont know how to deal with it. The reason i posted this thread on this site, is because my son and I love a good conspiracy theory / fact . We would sit here for hours reading threads about UFOs, shadow governments, H1N1 ect.......I am really gonna miss them days...... to all who believe in GOD on this site, please say a prayer for my son , And the folks who dont believe in GOD, A simple thought of positive energy will do just fine.....Thank You

reply to post by bdb818888


I am so sorry for you, please accept my condolences. I can't think of a thing to say to help you. I feel your pain. You have my sympathies.

There is no god, and your son will be reborn.

This is a fact many addicts forget when they want people to stay out of their lives.

Hopefully everyone can get the help they need before putting their family through what your going through.

I'm sorry for your loss

reply to post by bdb818888


You have my sincerest condolences, and I will keep him in my thoughts. Death is tough to deal with. I have lost everyone in my family, my partner and several close friends, so I can definitely empathize with what you are going through. Just remember that death is not the end, but merely a transition to a different type of existance. You will see your son again someday, but until then just hold him in your heart and he will always be near.

reply to post by bdb818888


I am a parent and I am dreadfully pained to read of your loss. I am so sorry you lost your child and I cannot even imagine the pain you must feel but I can send you positive feelings of empathy. I am an atheist so instead of prayers I send you and your son positive thoughts, and I hope you find a way to somehow plough through your sense of loss.

Kind regards and best wishes to you.

How awful. I'm sorry this tragedy has happened to you and your family. I have no words of consolation that could even begin to express how sorry I am for you.

My brother lost a son about 11 years ago and it was the most dreadful thing to watch him suffer after that loss. I won't tell you that the pain lessens with time but it will get a little easier to deal with. One day at a time.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes to you and your family.

I don't want to make you feel any more pain, I can imagine how unbearable it already is for you.

But since you are sharing this with us, I'd like to know if you have any idea for the reason of his overdosing. I'm just very curious. I find it interesting that he was passionate about alternative topics. Maybe he bumped into something that was too scary or painful and needed some outside help?

If you don't feel comfortable getting deep into the situation I completely understand.

Blessings to you and to your son.
And everything happens as it supposed to happen.

reply to post by bdb818888


Hey Ben, my deepest sympathies and condolences for your loss.

I pray that Jay is in a good place, free of all the demons that must have haunted him during his time with us.

All the best and much love to you and your family.

reply to post by bdb818888


My heart goes out to you, bdb818888, and you will certainly be in my prayers.

Dear poster,

My heart breaks reading of your loss.

Four months after I got married my husband's brother died of a drug overdose.

He was like my own brother. I will never forget that pain, or the nightmare.

I will never forget the howls of grief from my MIL when she came home from the hospital. Or me having to quickly clean my BILs bedroom of blood and vomit and paramedic materials.

My MIL was in bed for three months. She eventually lost her job.

Just take care of yourself right now. Just go through the motions, just let the grief happen. Don't ever be embarrassed.
You have earned every right to openly grieve.

You will never get over it of course. You learn to adapt. I will warn you that the first few years of birthdays and christmases are awful.

don't make any decisions regarding your son's things. Just leave them. don't pack them up or give them away. There is plenty of time to decide that, when you are ready.

All you can do is breath, minute by minute, day by day. You will get through the awful hazy nightmare.

Tell people to save their visits for a later time. There is nothing worse then when the hoopla is over and the flowers have died and the house is quiet.

I always tell people that when helping someone with a death, give things or food, not flowers. Or make donations. Also, come by weeks later, because that is when people really start feelign alone. And the quiet of the house gets to them.

My mother will send a sympathy card every year for years after someone is gone, to let the family know she has not forgotten them.

As for the OD. Don't do the would of, could of should of. it is an awful disease. It changes a person, makes them into something they are not. It is an ugly monster. There is nothing you could of done.

Feel free to talk to me at any time. Talk talk talk, and get that grief off your chest.

*hugs*

How old was your son?

Our "date" is coming up on the 9th. It has been 6 years now. My bil would of been 30 this year. And I still miss him to bits.

I'm so sorry.

There aren't words enough to console you but I will pray for your son and I will pray for you.

May your path be easy and your burdens light. May you find comfort in memories of happy times and may you realize that your son would want you to find the happiness that eluded him.

Ben

Im really sorry for your loss.
I will defintley remember you in my thoughts, as its the ones left behind that hurt the most.
I hope you post many threads and debate many conspiracies in memory of your boy, and that those of us engaging you on the boards honor what you both had a little by respectful discussions.

Zazz



[edit on 5-9-2009 by zazzafrazz]

Dear Ben,

My condolences to you on your loss, I personally believe in God, but also in re-incarnation, whatever is the truth, I know that energy (spirit/soul) never ceases to exist, all the best to you,

Regards
Marty

reply to post by bdb818888


I can't even imagine what you must be going through.................. I am very sorry for your loss and you have my deepest condolences. But just remember, you'll see him again.

I am so very sorry for your loss Ben...my prayers are with your son, you and your family.

I don't even know what to say except "I'm sorry for your loss"

Iam truly sorry for your loss, I will say a prayer for you and your son,

Take things one day at a time, take care, peace!!
















[edit on 5-9-2009 by truth/seeker]

reply to post by bdb818888


I am very sorry for your loss. I have a son as well. God will definitely take care of your son.

Please accept my sympathies...

I am so sad for you Ben and thank Jaxon for posting in another thread about this.

My son is my life and I would be absolutely devastated if anything ever happened to him, I worry he will grow up and take drugs like I did and that he may not be so lucky like I was- I should be dead too but guess luck was on my side.

I can't imagine your pain, life just isn't fair.

Alot of people look down on people who take drugs but for some of us it was a way of coping, life is tough and for someone that is sensitive sometimes the only way to cope is by shutting out the world and drugs offer a temporary solution.

My heart really does break for you, no parent should have to go through what you are going through, I'm really sorry.

- LifeCitizen