Thought Journal

I don't know why, but today really feels different.
I now work in another location, but that's not it.
It feels kind of weird.
Like something is out of place.
It's like its raining strangelts or something.
Do you know what it is?
---------------------------------

"I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth.

I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad."

Do some of us "know something" but we can't explain it ? Yes, I think so.

Awhile back I started a thread called "A sense of purpose" that went
absolutely nowhere. I mentioned that I've had this feeling for a long time
that I believe deep down inside that I'm "supposed" to find something. I
don't know what it is, but I know it's important, and I "know" I'm the one
that's supposed to find it.

What if some of us are tasked to find answers ?

I remember a response from N3krostatic that put it better than I ever
could. Made me stop and think.

Last week was an interesting week.
I had to work with some people that I have not done so for a while.
When I worked with them the first time, I did not always get along with them.
Mostly because of my "take no crap" personality and their lacksadaisical attitudes.
I have since realized that if given enough rope, such people will hang themselves.
There is nothing I can do about it, so I will just do my job, and I realized not to take it so personally. They know nothing of the pride I take doing anything, so it's really not their fault, and I am only seeing a quality in them that in the past I have not liked about myself.
It was interesting. It's been over three years, and this time everyone just clicked.
I would say that the last week of work was indeed a little vacation. I would hardly call it work at all.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Been having dreams about other people having issues with numbers. Not myself Per se, but other people.
Some one I know had used an authorization code that they were not careful in hiding. That got them into some trouble.

Sorry, no lottery numbers.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Today, I feel as if something is off.
Everything is calm, but it's like the calm before the storm.

I feel as if there is going to be a paradigm shift in how people view this world very soon.
That's all I'm saying...
Get your go bags ready.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Love to watch movies.
Rarely watch TV but I love NBC HEROES.
I think that they got off to a weird start.
Give Peter and Hiro back their powers already!!

Looking forward to "Transformers, Revenge Of The Fallen" coming out on DVD soon.
Gonna brake down and get Blu/Ray and a crazy HDTV, just so I can watch Transformers on it.
Just kidding, but I have been holding out a long time.

Been seeing a lot of weird threads lately.
Feel often that sifting through more and more refuse to get to the good stuff is becoming a prerequisite for reading.
Don't really like all the bad energy around lately, so been lurking more often than not.
Thinking that until some real good stuff comes around, gonna limit to brief opinions and a creative focus.
Really hope that people can see through the crud and get the real scoop on the real issues.
Been feeling that the world is in sorry shape and can only hope that we don't add to it.

I felt really good today.
I don't know why, but I was 120% on top of my game today.
I took a nap yesterday afternoon. Perhaps that was it.
I actually enjoyed working today, something which I have not been able to do i some time.
I was also of the attitude, that everything just slid right off my back toady.

On a weirder note, perhaps I was feeling so good, because some looming evil event was averted today.
Who the hell knows?

I hope to have more days like today.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

What is it with NJ?
Give me a break!!
Mandatory vaccinations?
Go F@#$ yourself CZINE!!!!!!!!!

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I've been cooking up a storm lately.
Making my own bannock, dandelion cakes, toasted quinoa candy, acorn squash with crunchy filling and caramel cinnamon apples, corn chowder, and lots more.
I am finding out a lot by making things from scratch.
I am going to try and make roasted acorns soon. I know where there is a good white oak to get some.
It's a lot of work, but it really is good to know how to make things on your own, and avoid all the crap from modern ready to go food.
If any one would like get or give some recipes, reply.


[edit on 10/4/2009 by reticledc]

I saw something very peculiar this morning.
It was still dark out, and the moon was full.

At the risk of inciting flames, I am not going to describe what it was.
Al I can say is that I was amazed.

It's been a strange few days.
I really don't know how, but I have been able to let go of so much.
So much anger, so much grief.
It does nothing for you to keep holding onto it.
This is the catalyst for me trying to lay down the bricks. I am jsut putting it out there.
I know that there are times when I must bend like the tall grasses, even though I've often snapped like a twig.
Either way, the wind still blows.
I can go with it, or I can fight it.
Or I can harness it.
I am so tired of fighting the wind, it will blow long after I'm gone, so what am I hoping to accomplish?
I will ride the wind, and harness it, like it was intended for us to do.
There is no stopping the wind.



I left a message to an old friend the other day. He hasn't called back, and I know he is mad. But what can I do.
I know I cut myself off from him, and I was justified.
You have no idea.
However, a friend he was, despite his flaws, or mine.
I know he would like to talk to me again, but he won't call. I know it.
He is too stubborn.
If it's meant to be, so be it.
If not I'll leave it alone.

I've been reading a lot of comments from people that are just fed up with this thing that's going on in the world these days.
I can't blame them. I feel like that sometimes too.
So what's the deal?
I wonder what would make the powers that be happy?
I wonder what it would take for them to just leave us the hell alone?
How much is enough.
Do they really wanna see the world burn?
Push the button already then and spare us the grief.
I can't think of a single person that I have ever met that wants to be under control, be it consciously or unconsciously.
S&M, domineering, don't count you smarty pantses!!

"Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?" - Morpheus, The Matrix

That more or less describe my mood today.

I was around town a bit today. No particular purpose or aim.
I notices several ways into the woods around, where I never noticed before, or realized that there were woods.

I like to find little nooks around.
Especially the hard to find ones.
Before I picked up my wife from work, I got some things I needed for the house.
Found a neat little addition for my go bag.
Ya know what really made me feel in another world today?
I parked on the far end of the lot today. It's kinda weird, and gives the impression that everything is newer.

Get a chair, or step ladder, and pick a room in your house.
Get on top of the chair or stepladder, and get as close to the ceiling as possible. Look at the room from that perspective and really take it in.
You'll be surprised. You almost won't recognize the place.
It's like a deja vu'.

Weirdness awaits me, so off to sleep soon.


[edit on 10/11/2009 by reticledc]

Brother, can you spare a dime?
I can, but can you spare the time?

I just want to snuggle under the blankets with my wife and talk about our day.
I want to talk about the cute things she does.
Off I go to do just that.
No more internet for me for now.
Good night.

҉testing

testing҉

All the Earthquakes lately.
The Earth will shake when I return.
Unknown poet on Truth
The truth is nigh, the truth is freedom.
Who's truth is it though?
Is it ours, yours, mine?
Is the truth universal.
What is the truth that everyone is so desperate to find?
Is it the truth of our existance?
Are we searching for a reason to be here?
Are we searching for unanswered questions?
Is the world really that veiled in darkness that we need to understand a truth that we don't even know exists?
What's the big secret?
There are good people, and there are evil people.
Just as much as we are living in a world where we have some sort of structure, there are those that are trying to dismantle it, for nothing more than they can do it.
Is the truth that we are totally out of control of our own destinies?
Are we really being manipulated to some subservient end?
What is the truth behind the real motivations of the world powers that be?
Is it nothing more than shuffling the deck for egotistical reasons, or do some of them just want to see the world burn?
Are there visitors, and why the hell do they want to come here.
IS there some grand conspiracy regarding mutual cooperation between visitors and the more terrestrial powers that be?

Does it even matter anymore?
The world is changing.
Change, is the only universal constant.
Change is the only notion that is undeniable, and yet unfathomable.
It is simultaneously always changing, therefore it never changes.
Change is in and of itself is a dichotomy for that reason.

Don't mind me, I'm just passing through.

reply to post by reticledc


What the hell was I thinking when I composed that gem?

Whoa!!

I was reading it just now, and I was asking myself, "Is that me?"

I sometimes get like that.

Any ways...............

There has been a lot of bickering and trolling around here lately.
This behavior has made me wonder how often people challenge their own perspectives?
Is it natural for us to just become accustomed to a particular way of thinking?
While a lot of indicators say that this is true, I would not like to believe it.
If it is true, I'm inclined to think that there could be acceptions.
Personally, I try to see tall sides of an argument.
Even when I make my choice to believe something, I still entertain the possibilities that my reasoning could be flawed.
I don't believe everything I hear, but I am open to new ideas and new ways of thinking.

Discovered Flash Forward today.
Awesome show. I like it.
Pertaining to the story though, I was thinking that the LHC had something to do with it.
Then I Googled it and came across an interesting Wiki page.
link

What an odd coinkydink!?

I have had such a hell of a time at work lately. You really do walk right into a dictatorship as soon as you punch that clock.
Oh well.
I think I'll go and cut my own hair right now.
I feel like a new person when I do that. Kinda like I am giving myself a fresh start.
What's the worst that can happen?
If I screw it up, I'll just shave it.
.
.
.
.
Well, I did it and it doesn't look too bad.

PEACE!!

I freakin' love pistachios.
Picked up 2 10 oz bags today, and I am through one of them already.
They aren't cheap either, but they are a nice treat every once in a while.
I prefer them roasted and salted, but I love the raw ones just the same.

Had a nasty bout with food poison for the past few days.
I got really nauseous. I had a high fever and a high pulse rate.
As soon as I got home I went to bed, bucket next to me.
I got up several times and could not keep my balance was having minor hallucinations..
I bet the best idea would have been to get my butt to the hospital, but if things got any worse my wife wasn't going to leave the choice up to me.
After several "deposits" at (First National Porcelain), I seemed to feel better, almost immediately afterward.
The headache carried over till the next day, but at least I wasn't queezy anymore.
Man that really sucked.
I don't wish that kind of misery on anyone.