Did I do the right thing?

I just want to preface my relation of this event by saying that I am a big proponent of people and government not intruding into the affairs of others.

I stopped at the local pizzeria this afternoon to grab a few slices before heading home to take care of the bills and watch some HBO. The store is located close to my home on the corner of a main thoroughfare but set back a bit. It is quite small and there are only a few tables inside and the same number outside.

I grabbed a drink and placed my order and they guy manning the counter said he would bring it out for me when it was ready. I grabbed a menu to flip through and sat outside. As I was walking out a man and his young son walked in past me. I caught the distinct smell of alcohol as he passed by.

They came back out and sat at one of the tables and almost immediately the father began repremanding the son. He wasn't, as far as could tell, doing anything more troublesome then playing around with the condiments that were on the table. He was using some rather harsh language as the son appeared to me to be around 5 or 6. All the while his speech was obviously slurred.

My food came out and the guy was still going at it and the person who brought out my food caught my eye and we both kind of shook our heads. I figured he would stop but he kept on going. There food came out shortly after mine and that's when things got completely out of hand.

Apparently in the course of playing with the condiment containers the kid had loosened one of the tops and it looked from where I was sitting that the father had dumped most of the red pepper on his slice of pizza. He grabbed his son by the forearm and pulled him out of the chair. They way he did so cuased the kid to scream in a way which, to me, sounded like he was in a good deal of pain. He then proceeded to hit his son repeatedly about the back of the head and on his backside. The enitre time he was holding him up by the arm so the kid was basically dangling there.

As I said before I really do not like to meddle in other people's affairs and expect the same in return. This however made me furious. I got up and said that I didn't think it was a good idea for him to be doing what he was doing. He looked at him a told me to, 'Mind my own f*****g business.' I told him he was making it my business by acting like this.

By this time the shop owner had come out and asked what the commotion was about. The guy had by this time let go of his son who was wailing hysterically and standing behind the chair he had been pulled out of. I told the shop owner the guy was beating the crap out of his kid and that he seemed drunk and maybe he should all the cops.

The father got really incenced with me and told me again that it was not my business. The shop owner said that he didn't want any trouble. I told the guy again he made it my business and to the shop owner that he already had trouble.

The guy then made a point of threatening me. Now, I may not be the biggest guy in the world but that does not mean I can;t handle myself. I told him that I wasn't a 5 year old and he better not even think of backing his words up with actions. I asked the shop owner to call the police again and he seemed to be a bit dazed. I said screw it and I'll call them myself.

At this point I relaized that I had left my cell phone in the center console and informed both of them I was going to get my phone and call the police. I walked the 30 or so feet towards my car which was in the small lot near the main street and as I got there the father grabbed his kid and ran for his car which was paker right infront of the pizza place. I quickly grabbed my phone and ran back to try and get his plate but he had sped off and I was unable to do so. I asked the guy running the place if he got it but he neve even moved from where he was standing.

I eventually did call the police and they took a statement from both of us and also asked to have the security video the shop owner had that looked over the counter towards the door. They had me look at the tape while they interviewed me and the picture was not that great but you could make out some of his features. Without a plate number or any other identifiers they could not make a positive ID. I had never seen the guy before and know most people in my neighborhood where this took place.

I am still PO'd about the whole thing. I feel that I did the right thing by saying something but I feel kind of stupid for not getting the guys plate. I am also really upset with the shop owner for standing by and doing nothing.

You and your children are your business but I just felt that I needed to do something here. Was I right to get invloved?

It is a fine line.

You did exactly what I would have done, and I applaud you for it. But you are also right in saying that sometimes it is better not to meddle in other people's affairs.

You just have to choose your battles and I think you made the right choice today.

Hopefully if the guy is found you may have contributed to turning the life around of one abused child.

Well it seems that he had been drinking, driving a car with a kid in it and he was in a volatile mood - or was basically just a volatile person, so yhea it seems you did do the right thing - it's a shame you didn't get the number, the cops could of stopped him, given him the breath test.

I'm like you, I don't like other peoples business - and I don't like mine being anyone else's. But I also weight that up with the news reports of incidents where people don't intervene and terrible things happen - take for instance that girl all over the headlines right now, the one kidnapped 18 years ago and lived in the tents... There was so many missed opportunities there.

It's a tough call.

Bravo, and yes of course you did the right thing.

It rather disgusts me when people stand by and watch the abuse of others and esp in the case of a little child. This has happened to me in the past when i stopped some woman from hitting a child with her shoe whilst others stood by and ignored it.

It is not uncommon for people to ignore this..rather disgusting really.

Well done and nothing to feel foolish about, feel proud you acted as best you could and did the RIGHT thing..

reply to post by AugustusMasonicus


Yeah, you did the right thing AM.

Especially since you and I know how these things can go down in North Jersey when you start confronting someone.

Good for you bro.

reply to post by schrodingers dog


Thank you Schro. It does seem like a good portion of the local populace is looking to goad you into to a fist fight at times, doesn't it?

I actually gave this some more thought between yesterday and today. I was operating under the assumption that the guy was the child's father, but how can you know this without questioning him?

It could have been a relative or even the boy's, mother's boyfriend. I just made an assumption that anyone who would wack a child around like that in public with no concerns would have to be the child's father but just watching the news will make you rethink your assumptions.

Tough call but I think you did the right thing, so much abuse is overlooked these days because people don't want trouble.

What you did took courage.

Yes, you did the right thing! I thank you on behalf of every beaten, abused, broken and helpless child in this world.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

You know, I really wish that people did this for me when I was a kid.
I'm sure this kid feels the same way.
Not in my opinion, but in my knowledge, you did the right thing my friend.
Child abuse can really mess a person up.

reply to post by AugustusMasonicus


Hello Agustus,

It's called life.....

What you did was neither right nor wrong in my opinion. You did what you felt you had to do by standing up and telling the guy he should not be a prick. But you called the police also, which is a real crappy thing to do in my opinion.

You need to put yourself in the child's position. Sure his dad is a piece of crap but that does not mean he does not love his dad. In the US what that dad did would probably get that kid taken away from him and that kid would be taken into child protective custody and be tossed into a worse situation.

I'm not saying what you did was wrong. I probably would have stayed out of it out of nothing other than fear, who knows. but in a imaginary possibility you could have let the dad whack the crap out of his kid, bought him a free slice of pizza sat down with him and asked him why he felt it necessary to hurt his child that looks up to him and loves him over nothing.

In a situation like that one must remember any harm that comes to the father also hurts the child.

You did the right thing, nobody... not even your parents
should inflict pain on their own flesh and blood out of
anger.
Did the child cowering behind the chair show that
a valuable lesson had been learned about pepper on
other people's pizza?

Of course not, what the child realised was that his father
was terrified of being embarrassed in front of others,
and whoever did it, whether by accident or on purpose,
would be punished and with physical harm.

You think the father was hating himself for learning his
child a life and death lesson about peppered pizza?

It's sickening... and too common.
Well done.