We all have been lied to at some point, and truth be told most of us have told a lie or 20. With the intention of passing along some very useful
knowledge I decided to begin this thread about..You guessed it lies, lies and more lies. As this pertains to the pursuit of truth in all things I
believe it's a good fit here. People lie bottom line and we don't live in a world of truth, I intend to provide some tools that may be helpful in
your daily adventures and possibly in your research of ATS related topics.
Why do people lie?
Types of lies.
People lie for many different reasons and although the specific reasons for specific lies will vary, the action of covering the truth by means of
verbal communication remains the foundation, followed by non-verbal communication. If one suspects that they are receiving false information by
whatever means the first step is to determine grounds for the information being false. What "red flags" are sticking out? Is there: Motive,
opportunity, means ect ect. One needs to determine as well, what type of lie might one be encountering. People lie to, (1) protect themselves, (2)
protect others, (3) retain or gain property weather physical, monetary or emotional,emotions can be property by some people's standards.(3) Avoid
punishment.
People often lie just for the thrill of it; a manipulative person may in fact believe their own lies just as if they were truth. These types of liars
are normally very easy to spot as they will generally exaggerate the truth at any given time even under the least threatening circumstances. We'll
get into different types of liars further on. Protection of one's interests or to avoid punishment is most often the reason for being dishonest, so
this is a good place to begin.
What are they trying to protect? Or avoid.
To determine what is hidden behind the lie is a task in and of itself, but this is a worthy crusade in order to answer the "why". Finding yourself
confronted with the feeling of "something's just not adding up here" is frustrating and we've all been there a time or two, a good rule of thumb
to remember when determining if a lie may be present is if it makes no sense whatsoever then you should question it.
People are protective in nature, weather it's personal interest's, another person's intrest's, physical safety, mental safety,as well as comfort
safety. Sometimes people screw up, could be big time could be a simple mistake. Most people don't like to be in "trouble" so sometimes a lie will
do to avoid this, with this said we look to the the person's interets to determine possible cause for a lie to be present.
dosen't matter weather you know a person well or not you can still determine their interests in conversation. Example: if you know sombody to be very
interested in making a profit you should be very aware of the conversation when dealing with the subject of money if it pertains to your's.
Information gathering.
We can always use what we have to determine weather or not somebody is misleading us. Pay attention to detail when having a conversation with a person
in question, make a mental note of "landmarks" in the story or conversation these could and should be details that the person has added. An honest
person will generaly be on point with the're details because they lived the event(s) they are describing, whereas somebody who may not be telling the
complete truth will tend to create "fuzzy" details as they are disuading you in conversation as well as the fact that they are (in the mind) living
this made up sceneario themselves.
Remember to notate (on paper) if you have to, details to re examine latter if you need to. The other person need not know that you do this. When a
suspect conversation is re-visited, and details change let it ride, see how far and how much the changes differ from the origional story. Of course as
humans we tend to forget somethings from time to time, but a lier will rarely remember specific details after a time has passed, especially those
small one's you should have noted at the time of the first conversation. If a discrepency occurs then the likehood of a lie being present is
higher.
A good lie has to have some element of truth to it in order to be believeable, most complex lies have multiple layers of truth woven together with
decieving facts, this is a way for the lier to control the lie without much effort, and normaly the false layers are the main points of focus. The
time it takes for a question to be answered may also be usufull in detecting a possible lie, it takes longer to lie then to tell the truth, but also
remember that a quick responce may indicate a prepaired lie in this case some digging may be required if the quick aswer is accompanied but our all to
familler "gut' instinct.
Maintaining a lie over a long period of time is difficult and most liars know this, and the more they lie the more lies they must tell to maintain the
first one, in some cases do not expect imediate results, alow for a reasonable amount of time to pass to permit the weight of lie maintanence to wear
on the lier then their story starts to develop holes.
Body language is not always a good indicator of a lie being told, an honest person tends to be a bit concerned that the other person believes him or
her so they may become visably adgitated or they may not, same can be said with a liar and this adds too many variables so do not coun't on the
language of one's body as the failsafe count on yourself more and your abilities to pay attention to detail in addition to your instinctive nature to
want the truth.
Establish the conversation in a non threatning manner.
Asking indirect questions is sometimes a good manuver as this helps avoid short answers, ie: yes and no. The more you are able to get the person to
say the more information you can gather and note. Do keep your feelings to yourself when practicing this, keeping your feelings at bay will allow you
to pick up on the other person's feelings a bit better and allow you to rationalize the situation better.
When you are convinced that you have been decieved or are being decieved then the question now becomes, what to do now? Each person's answer will
varry depending on the circumstances. I would reccomend letting the lier know you have caught them as soon as possible, this will allow you to let it
be known that you are not one to be "gotton over on" or at the least it may caution that person from lieing to you in the future. Of course do not
tell them specificaly how you determined the lie this will only enable them to become better lier's in the future.I hope some of this knowledge can
help you determine the truth in your dealings, but just remember that knowing the truth is sometimes painfull and that ignorance is sometimes bliss,
best wishes with this.
Cadence of SpeechThere are many different tactics one can use while trying to catch a liar. Nothing is going to work 10 out of 10 times, but there
are patterns that you may find. Patterns in their eyes, patterns in their movements, and patterns in their speech. When there is an irregularity in
their patterns, something is obviously wrong. Below are the most common irregularities in ones speech while they are lying.
· Think back to the last time you were falsely accused of lying. How did you react? How did you feel? When falsely accused of lying, the average
persons normal tendency is to be overcome with fury from the false accusation. This is because they are trying to defend their pride or honor. A
normal persons response would be something like “How dare you accuse me of such a thing!” However, a liar will not attempt to protect his honor.
A liar will focus exclusively on attempting to convince you that they are not lying. A liars response will generally over use the word “no”.
· A liar will repeat the question for reassurance.
Example: Where you at this party last night? Answer: No, I was not at that party last night. If the person was telling the truth, they would just say
no.
·Responses using contractions are more likely to be truthful.
Example: Did you take the last cookie from the cookie jar?
Response: No I didn’t
Liars response: No I did not
·Liars will sometimes imply answers instead of denying them.
Example: Did you send him on a wild goose chase?
Answer: Would I really do that?
·A guilty person is not comfortable with awkward silences and pauses, therefore making them talk more then usual. They think by adding unnecessary
details, it will help them convince you.
· Some liars will attempt to use humor or sarcasm to either avoid a subject, or avoid answering a question truthfully.
· Some liars may talk very fast because they want to get the lie over with
WIKI
www.humanliedetection.com... ( good information worth the read.)
Human Brain Operates Differently In Deception And Honesty, University Of
Pennsylvania Researchers Report
www.howtotelllying.com...
www.lifetrainingonline.com...