Election - Leader of the Post-2012 World

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/c02ef2555974.jpg[/atsimg]

Hi. My name is Andrew. As part of the Institute for Human Continuity election, I am running for leader of the Post-2012 world.

To show your support for my candidacy, please click on the link to cast your vote:
Vote for Andrew

In 2012, when the majority of the human race will be destroyed by the impact of Planet X, massive solar flares, and super volcano activity resulting from a destabilization of the Earth's core, the remnants of mankind are going to need a single voice to blindly follow and obey.

I intend to establish a one-world government led by a cabal of the poorest, most socially-awkward, and least influential survivors. A well-armed, civilian police force on horseback will be tasked with roaming the irradiated wasteland and eliminating any remaining jocks and male underwear models. After this necessary culling, the overweight computer technicians shall inherit the Earth. Those who have only attained the lowest experience levels in World of Warcraft shall be tasked with designing and operating a complex agricultural system for feeding the survivors within 5 years. All others will divide their days into equal periods for reproductive activities, online gaming, consuming remaining stockpiles of pre-Apocalypse canned goods, and sleeping on memory foam.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/d2c7924730da.jpg[/atsimg]

Popular Questions:
1. Q: Are you the Antichrist?
A: Probably not - unlike the politicians of the past, I will not feign certainty on important issues that have yet to be resolved. I have thoroughly inspected my naked, pear-shaped body and have yet to find any marks resembling "666."

2. Q: Are you in any way affiliated with former Vice-President Dick Cheney?
A: No. In the new world I will lead, everyone will be given a fair trial prior to imprisonment and execution. All vampires like Cheney will be doused in a garlic-heavy Alfredo Sauce and exposed to direct sunlight for clean and immediate vaporization.

3. Q: How many votes do you need?
A: I require roughly 100 votes to have the best chance of success in my campaign.

Once again, to show your support for my candidacy, please click on the link to cast your vote: Vote for Andrew

Thanks for your time,
Andrew

Additional Information on the End of the World:
Institute for Human Continuity

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/19e8922a22bc.jpg[/atsimg]


[edit on 26-8-2009 by andrewh7]

what is the point of this thread> i think i missed it.

movie advertising?

[edit on 26-8-2009 by phi1618]

PEOPLE, PEOPLE PEOPLEEEEE....
SERIOUSLY..... I don't understand why you would take your marketing and put it in this site where we obviously talk about the hoax that the IHC is...

The problem is that a lot of people are freaking out and this is due to missinformation as well as a too far fetched publicity stunt...

This is ridiculous...

somewhere, Orsen Wells is laughing. actually arent the elections about a month and a half BEFORE the end?

reply to post by andrewh7


I, for one, am impressed. May I be an overlord in your new empire? I smoke, eat red meat, enjoy fine scotches, and wear glasses.

I had planned on living out the crisis on my neighbors houseboat, but now, I won't have to duct-tape him to his lawn furnature and steal it.

Funny thread, nice touches.

I wish to run against you.

regardless of if I survive , I will still be less qualified , and there for better as the ruler of the world .

I will not raise tax's , cuz the money has no value anyway .

I have no plan , so goverment will be tiny and just as effective as it is now... but no police state... because I have no plan to make laws with , or need for laws .

frankly speaking .. I am totaly and completely unqualifed .
there fore , you have no chance of winning an election .

I promise , if I am elected , to do as little as humanly posable.

'WoW' sux's as a MORPG.... 'guild wars' is so much better .

I will veto any bill that spends or collects money , fees , tax's or fines ...

I will sign any bill that outlaws spandex on fat people .
I will sign any bill that makes microsoft responcible for time lost waiting for it to load , reload , reading help files.
also ...

I will unionize microsofts employees , so they can do to it... what they did to the educational system and auto industry .

and what unions will do to the health care industry .

i like to watch when my dog eats his own poo.....

so therefor i feel i am more than qualifies to rule the world, now and post 2012....

i thank you for your vote!


i also have terrible grammar...just like your previous war lord...i mean president!

[edit on 26-8-2009 by Turtledub]

Originally posted by mikerussellus
reply to post by andrewh7

 

I, for one, am impressed. May I be an overlord in your new empire? I smoke, eat red meat, enjoy fine scotches, and wear glasses.

I had planned on living out the crisis on my neighbors houseboat, but now, I won't have to duct-tape him to his lawn furnature and steal it.

Funny thread, nice touches.

I have been looking for a Secretary for the new Department of Alcoholic Affairs. You will be responsible for making sure that any booze looted from the ashes of former major cities is evenly distributed among my supporters. Non-supporters will be forced to consume any remaining amounts of O'Douls, prior to their exile into the government prison colony to be constructed in Detroit. May god have mercy on their souls.

Originally posted by Turtledub
i like to watch when my dog eats his own poo.....

so therefor i feel i am more than qualifies to rule the world, now and post 2012....

i thank you for your vote!

You got my vote. I almost spilled a very nice scotch all over my keyboard reading this.

Non-supporters will be forced to consume any remaining amounts of O'Douls, prior to their exile into the government prison colony to be constructed in Detroit.

You know, you really don't need to construct a prison colony in Detroit, it's pretty much ready to go as it is... seriously, have you seen the place lately?

Originally posted by readerone
I wish to run against you.

regardless of if I survive , I will still be less qualified , and there for better as the ruler of the world .

I will not raise tax's , cuz the money has no value anyway .

I have no plan , so goverment will be tiny and just as effective as it is now... but no police state... because I have no plan to make laws with , or need for laws .

frankly speaking .. I am totaly and completely unqualifed .
there fore , you have no chance of winning an election .

I promise , if I am elected , to do as little as humanly posable.

'WoW' sux's as a MORPG.... 'guild wars' is so much better .

I will veto any bill that spends or collects money , fees , tax's or fines ...

I will sign any bill that outlaws spandex on fat people .
I will sign any bill that makes microsoft responcible for time lost waiting for it to load , reload , reading help files.
also ...

I will unionize microsofts employees , so they can do to it... what they did to the educational system and auto industry .

and what unions will do to the health care industry .

In my utopian future, there will be no taxes. Everyone will receive a free copy of Windows 7. Obviously, there will be no updates from Microsoft as the State of California will have been washed clean by multiple Tsunamis.

As a voice of unnecessary opposition and dissent, readerone will be institutionalized in a mental hospital on tropical island populated by dinosaurs, polar bears, and a sentient black smoke cloud that comes out of the ground to kill people every so often.

reply to post by andrewh7


I'm sorry, I had to switch parties, it was the dog poop joke that got me.

reply to post by mikerussellus

May I be an overlord in your new empire?

Is overlord the new czar?

reply to post by andrewh7


Amazing how people claim to KNOW what is going on with 2012. Enough already folks, you all don't know what's going to happen any more than my cat does.

The institute of human continuity is going to get laughed at...

I'm not saying that 2012 isn't significant, it certainly is. But it isn't the end of the world.

BTW that website is a joke, all flash and gimmicks. No actual scientific fact. Then again is based on a belief as they put it. Simply stunning..

~Keeper

[edit on 8/26/2009 by tothetenthpower]

Originally posted by Blackmarketeer

Non-supporters will be forced to consume any remaining amounts of O'Douls, prior to their exile into the government prison colony to be constructed in Detroit.

You know, you really don't need to construct a prison colony in Detroit, it's pretty much ready to go as it is... seriously, have you seen the place lately?

I was an inmate of the city for three years during law school. I had my car stolen after one.

reply to post by andrewh7


hey... a tropical island sounds good to me .

can I have sexy nurse's and med's hand'd out by a doc holiwood?

sure , sign me up...

you guys can have the burnt out buildings and new world order

I wont vote for you! I dont have a leader now and wont have one then. However I will work in cooperation with you as an equal. Good luck!

Originally posted by mikerussellus
reply to post by andrewh7

 

I'm sorry, I had to switch parties, it was the dog poop joke that got me.

joke?!?!

anyway! for your loyal support you shall be my first appointed minister for alerting the public when a possibly dog eating poop incident may occur. you will be in charge of getting people to the event and distributing popcorn and beer for the spectacle....through these means we WILL rebuild after 2012!

reply to post by Turtledub


Stop it! I'm yours. You had me at "dog poop."

Wow I am an idiot lol

I actually thought you were serious and had to be informed it was a promo for the movie.

Jebus..

Somebody slap me.

~Keeper