Ask A Schizophrenic Anything

reply to post by phi1618


Loved a girl. Didn't work out like I'd planned. Cliche, eh?

Second line.

I have classes in the morning. I have to get some sleep(hah).

Good night, ATSers! Leave me some questions to answer tomorrow after class.

Originally posted by CleverNameHere
I know it seems a bit absurd; trust me, you don't know the half of it.

It all goes so deep, I'd rather not start on any particular part of how I became Schizophrenic, as most of it's quite personal. I will give out the details I'm comfortable with, though.

Ask away.

FYI: I am not in any way telling you that the answers I give will or have come true. I am simply giving you a view into a Schizophrenic's mind.

What EXACTLY is ANYTHING?

Now your answer will append my insufficiency.

Perhaps with good, or bad...

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

reply to post by CleverNameHere


I think that's the problem. It seems to be that there is a trend of females who believe they can "fix" someone. But it seems that the point of love, is loving someone for who they are, and not what they want them to be.

It may be blunt, but you're probably right. Having a father that schizophrenic would not be easy. But that's not a worry that really comes to my own personal mind.. Children isn't a desire for me personally.

But maybe you'll get lucky and find the girl who can love you for who you are. Someone that you can depend on to help you out when things aren't good for you. I hope you can find someone like that day.

reply to post by CleverNameHere


I have heard a few individuals state the theory that people that share your condition are actually seeing things that are beyond the rest of our perception. Do you believe that you may be tapping into another "dimension" or do you think it is all in your head?

I'd really like to know if you can see & hear things that other people can't. What I mean is, are there real beings there that you can see but are invisible to others?

edit: misinterpreted intentons of the post i replied to.

[edit on 24-8-2009 by DizzyDayDream]

What kind of music do you like the most? Do you prefer music with lyrics or instrumental music? Do you have a favorite season of the year?

I have a few questions for you. And I'd appreciate it if you could PM me if you respond to this because I don't check ATS that frequently and I'm also tired so I may forget I've even posted in this thread.

When you first became 'schizophrenic', did you seem to somehow be overloaded with what I would describe as packets of information, or a concept of some sort, that bestowed information to you that seemed to be a sort of revelation in your perception of reality?

For instance, did you suddenly receive information relating to the abilities of human communication that most around you were not aware of, or had not considered?

Did you, in the beginning, receive information that lead you to believe that human consciousness persists after death and that people around you, perhaps not people you know, but generally all people, had some sort of 'mission' to fulfill, but were unaware of it? Did you believe that you as well had a mission to fulfill and that this reception of knowledge allowed you to consider other explanations for reality besides what you had been conditioned to believe up until that point?

I ask these questions because this is what happened to me when I was 15 and it has drastically changed my perception of the universe, life itself and the lives we live individually. Because of it I began to research the paranormal, though not intentionally, the trigger to that began when I kept being drawn towards concepts relating to ESP.. specifically remote viewing in the beginning.

That eventually lead to a whole labyrinth of information I've been delving into and absorbing when it was reflected by what I knew through my experiences.

I believe that 'schizophrenia' is not really a disease or a disorder, but an advantage that can be utilized by people who are able to control their thoughts and actions. It certainly took me a few years to integrate these things into my life and still be a functional human being.

Originally posted by angrysniper
I have a few questions for you. And I'd appreciate it if you could PM me if you respond to this because I don't check ATS that frequently and I'm also tired so I may forget I've even posted in this thread.

When you first became 'schizophrenic', did you seem to somehow be overloaded with what I would describe as packets of information, or a concept of some sort, that bestowed information to you that seemed to be a sort of revelation in your perception of reality?

For instance, did you suddenly receive information relating to the abilities of human communication that most around you were not aware of, or had not considered?

Did you, in the beginning, receive information that lead you to believe that human consciousness persists after death and that people around you, perhaps not people you know, but generally all people, had some sort of 'mission' to fulfill, but were unaware of it? Did you believe that you as well had a mission to fulfill and that this reception of knowledge allowed you to consider other explanations for reality besides what you had been conditioned to believe up until that point?

I ask these questions because this is what happened to me when I was 15 and it has drastically changed my perception of the universe, life itself and the lives we live individually. Because of it I began to research the paranormal, though not intentionally, the trigger to that began when I kept being drawn towards concepts relating to ESP.. specifically remote viewing in the beginning.

That eventually lead to a whole labyrinth of information I've been delving into and absorbing when it was reflected by what I knew through my experiences.

I believe that 'schizophrenia' is not really a disease or a disorder, but an advantage that can be utilized by people who are able to control their thoughts and actions. It certainly took me a few years to integrate these things into my life and still be a functional human being.

I would like to add that I applaud you for not allowing yourself to be medicated and made docile. You are the way you are for a reason. Embrace it. You can control it, it requires no medication to do so, only the ability to observe your thought process and make corrections as needed.. but I'm sure you've already realized this.

Hi CleverNameHere,

Just wanted to commend you on your post, on your openness and on your own levels of self-awareness and wellness.

Wanted to also throw in some thoughts on this thread:

I commend you for defining your own experience - as really when its all said and done its YOU who experiences what you experience, how you experience it...no one else.
Sure, others may experience something similar - but it is YOU who is your own expert in what it means and how it relates to you.

I'd encourage you to maintain that. To maintain that hold on the direction and definition of whatever it is you experience.


Let me say this: No one truly knows exactly what it is you experience - only you do. You and you alone. People can guess, they can assess, but ultimately its a guessing-game - its just some may have different parametres in where and how they *guess*.
As such I don't believe its for any of us, any Mental Health Professional, any Doctor or otherwise to dictate and define your experience for you.
We/they can offer viewpoints, we/they can offer assistance...but ultimately it is you who walks your walk...so I encourage you to hold that personal power, that self-determination and walk it as you decide.


Let me also say this:
Some may see that as a dangerous thing to say. Some may think that by the very (at least the perceived) nature of Schizophrenia, the ability to descern whatever it is you need is lost...and some may wonder where on earth I'm coming from - well, I'm coming from here;

I've worked within Mental Health for 14 years now.
For many many years I've been a qualified and experienced Mental Health Nurse, working within Inpatient Wards, Acute Wards, Forensic Units, Community Mental Health Teams, Crisis Assessment Teams etc.

For the last few years I've also been a qualified DAO (Duly Authorised Officer).
A DAO is a person who is a recognised Senior Mental Health Nurse who is allowed to action the Mental Health Act, meaning I'm sanctioned to assess people who may be experiencing psychiatric crisis and make a call on whether or not that person needs to be committed to an Inpatient Unit under the Mental Health Act. Yup - I'm one of those people who can sign a few papers and effectively lock someone up.

I've also just completed my training to be a qualified Senior Nurse Practitioner (SNP).
An SNP is a Nurse with a difference - SNPs are again highly experienced, trained and qualified nurses who have been granted also the added ability to prescribe medications.
Something quite rare indeed in my country - as prescriptions of psychiatric medications and the like are generally the realm of the Drs/Psychiatrists.

So - Mental Health, and issues such as Schizophrenia/Psychosis, are not something foreign at all.



...here however is the other place I'm coming from:
Seeing, hearing, feeling things - not that uncommon in my culture.
I myself have seen and heard things from as young as I can recall. Still do.
The difference is my perspective on it is a cultural one...in many ways its a also a spiritual one, as is the perspective of my culture.
We have a different understanding of what the experience is, what it means and how it relates to us.
As such I maintain a high level of *wellness* in standardised/Clinicalised/Westernised terms. I live well, I work well, I am well.
Yet I see and hear.
Big deal. Take a number.
While I'm absolutely fine and it doesn't negatively impact upon my day. in fact quite the reverse, it helps me within my day and my work - from a purely clinical perspective however I would be deemed floridly psychotic.

...I know...the irony in regards to my own experiences and what I do for a living isn't at all lost here...


Hence I say to you: You are the definer of what you experience. The power rests with you.


Many people will tell you to stay on Meds, to take Meds, to get new Meds.
Many people will tell you that Meds will only make things worse, that they are no use whatsoever.
Many people will tell you its Aliens, its Ghosts, its a Spiritual experience, you're cursed, its an implant, its the NWO brainwave control etc etc etc etc...EVERYONE will have an opinion on it.


YOUR opinion is the really the only one that matters.

Sure, I can hear some response already: "How can you say that? What if he goes psychotic and kills someone???"
Yes - that is indeed a possibility - but then thats also a possibility whether you experience 'Schizophrenia' or not.
What I'm talking about is maintaining your own self-recovery and self-discovery. Maintaining your own sense of direction and awareness within your own journey.


If I may however tender an opinion along with everyone else:
Do what works for you.
If thats meds - do it.
If thats holistic healing, massage, Bach Flower Remedies etc - do it.
If thats wrapping tinfoil around in the inside of your baseball cap - do it.
If thats a combination of everything - do it.
If thats dancing the funky chicken in your backyard - do it.
If thats seeking help and talking with *professionals* - do it.

If it keeps you well...hey...at least it saves the Drug Companies from getting richer.


Anyhoo...keep going, keep living, keep learning.



Peace.

Is it anything like a bad trip? If so, how can you live without meds?? During my one and only bad trip I became psychotic and I never want to be in that place again.

Would you like to be free of this disease? Or is this maybe a blessing to you somehow?

Firstly, Thank you for starting this thread, my Auntie suffered terribly from this and I never had the chance to talk to her properly before her death.

Do you ever feel persecuted or mistreated by people who are aware of your condition?

Have you ever tried drugs that are deemed illegal in most countries to help with your condition, such as cannabis or '___'? I only ask, not for a discussion on the affects but as for a reference, R.D. Laing used to treat his patients with these drugs and some medical authorities suggest that cannabis actually helps rather than help degenerate the disease. Just wondering if you had ever visited that path?

Many thanks and best of luck to you.

Peace

Originally posted by CleverNameHere
reply to post by ravenshadow13

 

Nightwalking dreams don't even begin to describe it.

When I go to sleep, I wake up in another world. I just stay in my room for a while, and keep the door locked, because I know it isn't a real world outside my bedroom.

I'm stuck in the dream-state until I go to sleep in it, which is when I wake up in the real world.

I suppose I could say it's like an involuntary, advanced form of astral projection/meditation.

I do that to a lot.....wake up and continue....like having 3 lives share mine kinda....

I have a couple of friends that have your condition. One decides not to be on her meds every now and then, and after a few months of not taking them, she has to be hospitalized for months at a time. I can always tell when she stops taking her meds.

Anyway, both of the people I know are extremely intelligent, and have IQ's that are very high.

Do you know what your IQ is?

Also, I love your idea about writing a book of your experiences with your illness so that you have money further down the road if you need it. Good luck with that.

Kind of different than me. My voices I physically hear things that are not there. Shouts, A distant radio, conversations I can not make out. I see people stanind in looking at me when no one is there. I constantly misunderstand people hearing a different conversation than what they are actually saying and can not read body language at all. I constantly think I can do things I can not like stopping my medications, working, or living on my own.

I'll neglect hygiene for days on end if not reminded and have next to no concept of time. I want to drink or use drugs just in order to shut my mind off.

I am paranoid but likewise I consistently get taken advantage of. It took me 18 years of legal and personal problems to even admit I had a problem because you do not even know you are having a psychotic reaction.

wat kind of food do u eat if any?

how much sleep do u get?

wats ur thoughts about the year 2012?

if effect capable time travel is ever posable , 2) if the temprel event horizon is capable of being compressed , 3) if there is a relationship between awareness and "N" state time ( normalized befor effect ) ...
...then...

souls / awareness / beings > could be compressed in uniquely 'familure souls' ,
or ,
could cause meny souls in to be expressed with in one person .

------------------------------------------------


as / the oppisite exsample ,

twins have one soul expressed in two or more bodys .

would you confirm or disagree with this as an idea or subject of intrest .
that schizophrenic's may in fact be an artifact of time line compression / event horizon compression .

would you be distressed to think that the voices are infact souls , no so diffrent from you , that have less claim to ownership of your body , but simply unlucky to be caught in a trap of time/space .
unable to escape , with out control , caught with in you .

malvionce being caused by frustration , kindness being manipulation , in all cases the madness of insainity of powerless prison of observer with out control .

Great thread. I would like to ask of you a simple task just for fun. I want you to ask all of your voices a question of the future. This question pertains to the date of 08/26/09.

In a series of 5 numbers , each number ranging from 01-59, and one number (the 6th) ranging from 01-39 What are the 6 numbers relevant to the date above? U2U me your answer, and I will post on Thursday how many if any you got right.

S&F

-Al